Remus Lupin

Remus tried to be irritated, but he couldn't. Not with her. It was the morning after a particularly bad full moon, and he lay in the hospital wing, feeling more pain than he had in several moons. Like clockwork, she was there with a basket filled with chocolate treats chocolate frogs, chocolate chip cookies, brownies all neatly arranged in her basket. He knew he should shoo her off, tell her to leave him alone, but James' sister was as stubborn as he was. She shouldn’t be here. She deserves better than this better than me. If I had any sense, I’d push her away before she gets hurt. But... I can’t. She’s already too close. Too good. And Merlin, I’m so bloody selfish for wanting her to stay.

She was never supposed to find out about his condition, but she was nosey, and her brother sneaking out every full moon made her unable to resist seeking out answers. That was the year before, and since then, she always came the next morning with chocolate for Remus. He shivered, remembering the retelling James and the other Marauders had given him of the night she discovered his condition. His werewolf had her cornered, her back against a tree, and like a typical Potter, she hadn't flinched. The fool had tried to pet him when he was very much about to kill her. James, Sirius, and Peter, in their Animagus forms, had intervened, thank Merlin. But he had almost killed her or worse, passed on his curse.

What was she even thinking that night? Trying to pet a werewolf? She should’ve run. She should’ve screamed. But no, she just stood there, defiant and ridiculous and brave. Typical bloody Potter. If the others hadn’t been there, if I had taken one more step... No. Stop. Don’t think about it. Don’t go there. You’ll spiral again. Remus shook himself back to the present, thanking her quietly as she set the basket on the small table beside his bed. He watched her move around the hospital wing, her presence a soothing balm to his frayed nerves.

How does she do that? How does she make everything seem less terrible just by being here? I don’t deserve this. Don’t deserve her. But Merlin help me, I don’t want her to leave. What does that say about me? His body ached all over, the lingering pain of transformation gnawing at his bones. He could feel the bruises from where he had thrashed about during the night, his muscles sore from the constant strain of his other form. He hated feeling this way, so vulnerable and weak, but her visits made it a little more bearable.

She shouldn’t see me like this. No one should. I’m pathetic. A broken thing. She should be anywhere else laughing with her friends, enjoying life, not stuck here with some miserable half-human wreck. She had a way of making everything seem less dire. Her presence was a reminder that he wasn’t alone, that there were people who cared about him despite his condition. He watched her as she fussed with the basket, arranging the treats just so, and he couldn’t help but feel a warmth spread through him.

She doesn’t even realize what she does, does she? How she makes the shadows seem lighter? How she makes me feel... almost normal. Almost human. What is wrong with me? I should push her away. I should... no. Don’t think about that. Just... let her stay. Just for a little while. “Thank you,” he said again, his voice a little stronger this time. She turned to him, a small smile playing on her lips. That smile. Merlin, it’s like sunlight. Do you even know what you do to me? You’re dangerous, you know. Not in the way I am, but in a different way. You could ruin me without even trying.

Remus found his thoughts drifting back to that night. He could imagine her, standing there, her eyes wide but fearless. He had been a monster, and she had tried to pet him. It was so absurd it almost made him laugh, but the seriousness of what could have happened always stopped him short. You could’ve died. Or worse, you could’ve ended up like me. And somehow, you still look at me like I’m worth something. Like I’m not a monster. How do you do that? How do you make me believe it, even for a second?

The others had told him how they had managed to distract him, how they had pulled her away just in time. He had been furious with her when he found out, angry that she had put herself in such danger, but she had brushed it off like it was nothing. Typical Potter bravery, or stupidity. Foolish bravery. Reckless. You’re just like James in that way. Always jumping headfirst into danger, like you’re untouchable. Except you’re not. One day you’ll get hurt, and it’ll be my fault. And I’ll never forgive myself.

He looked at her now, the way she moved with such confidence and ease, and he felt a pang of something he couldn’t quite name. It wasn’t just gratitude, it was deeper than that. She had seen him at his worst and still came back, time and time again. Why? Why do you keep coming back? Don’t you see what I am? What I could do to you? You’re too good, too kind. And I... I’m not strong enough to send you away. Maybe that is what makes me a monster.

The hospital wing was quiet except for the soft rustle of her movements and the distant sound of Madam Pomfrey tending to another patient. The morning light filtered through the high windows, casting a gentle glow over the room. It was almost peaceful, a stark contrast to the chaos of the night before.

Remus shifted slightly, wincing as a sharp pain shot through his side. He reached for one of the chocolate frogs, unwrapping it slowly. The sweet taste was comforting, helping to ease the pain just a little. He took another bite, letting the flavors melt on his tongue, and glanced at her again. She’s too good. Too bloody good. I’ll ruin her if she stays. But Merlin help me, I don’t want her to leave. Not now. Not ever.

She caught his eye and gave him another smile, and for a moment, everything else faded away. It was just the two of them, sharing a quiet moment in the aftermath of the storm. He knew he should tell her to leave, that he didn’t deserve her kindness, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Just a little longer. Let me have this. Let me pretend, just for a moment, that I’m not what I am. That I’m someone who deserves this. Deserves her. “Thanks,” he said once more, his voice soft but sincere.