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Red Seven

· on Webring, Catbox· · archived

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[Solar Empire Database - Ponies of Interest #177. Accessing file...]

-- Basic information -- Callsign: Red Seven (real name unknown) Species: Unicorn, mare Age: Estimated around 25-30 Coat: Golden yellow Mane & tail: Red, mane usually seen in a single large braid Eyes: Green Aura: Green Cutie Mark: Playing card, seven of Hearts Occupation: Bounty hunter, unaffiliated/freelance

-- Detailed profile -- Officially verified information lacking. Please find attached the recording of an interview with a known associate, who wished to remain anonymous.

[Playing audio file...] You wanna know about Red buckin' Seven? Sure, not like sharing the scraps I know will make her mad. Where to even start with somepony like that, though?

Listen, we all know that since ponies spread to the stars together with every other sapient species on Equus, the galaxy got a lot smaller and a lot meaner. Ponies, griffons, minotaurs... Heck, even the damn bugs all forming factions to carve out a piece of the cosmic pie. Scary times, but also the kinda times when legends are born. True legends, not those perfect storybook ones.

And believe you me, that's what Red is, a sundamn legend. Uh, no offense or nothin'. Many of those who seen her in action believe she's the greatest space ace alive. I sure as hay haven't seen any evidence to the contrary. There's a reason she always gets her prey. Hah... there's a story that she once ran afoul five enemy interceptors by her lonesome. All five saw her, all five turned tail and ran without even trying to fire a shot. I believe it. That mare is a monster in a cockpit.

Her ship, the Lucky Strike? Sorry, pal, nopony knows that ship except Red herself. Sure, looks kinda like a griffon Kestrel, painted red, but anyone who seen it in action can tell you: That thing ain't no run-of-the-mill Kestrel. Red considers it her baby, she does. Always tinkerin', always upgradin', knows every nut and bolt. All I know is, it's a mean little bird to match her skill. Two-seater with enough storage space for her cargo, dead or alive.

But lemme tell you more about the mare herself, cause she ain't what you might expect. You think cause she's the scariest bounty hunter around that she's some hardass, stick-up-the-tailhole type? Ha! Red is a constantly drunk, charmin' as hell lover of life. A good drink, a good fight and a good romp with somepony excitin' are what keep her happy. She'll pull you in with that easy grin and that lovely Appleloosan twang, next thing you know you're wasted and running from the guards for a reason you can't even remember. It'll be the best damn night of your life, too. And don't take that runnin' from the guards bit wrong now, ya hear? Red is a good pony. She only ever hunts scumbags, sometimes even before a bounty is posted if it's a real special kinda scumbag.

One thing about her, though... Drives me mad. I swear the mare was born under lucky stars or somethin'. She could be eight shots of whiskey deep, laughin' and singing to herself while a pack of diamond dogs try to grab her. And some-friggin'-how the dogs will end up in the ground by the end. Sure, she's a damn good fighter, both up there in the black and on the ground, but sometimes it looks like she stumbles through a fight like a drunken fool and things just go her way. Never could tell if it's pure skill, if she plans every crazy step ahead, or is it all just genuine, dumb luck.

Anyways, that's Red Seven for ya. About all I know, anyway. Now, about those bits I was promised...

[Audio file end]

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