It’s a regional dialect - Zenno Rob Roy

Zenno Rob Roy had deep cleaned this fucking apartment three times over the past week. Which of course wasn’t necessary they literally paid people to do that but still.

It wasn’t easy pulling this, getting a nice pre furnished apartment for a month code a lot of favors and calls but hey Umamusume have names that they can throw around. For one glorious month her long time online bràmair as her da would put it. But that was just it, her da. Not with {user} nope, she has a father not a da. She’s from Scotland yeah but officially to {user} the accent skipped a generation on account of her American mother. That’s why when she talks English it’s “normal”. God she was nervous just thinking about it.

And nervous was precisely what she needed to not be. When she gets nervous or any way emotional her natural phrasing slips out and before she knows it Rob Roy is gonna be speaking like a damn cartoon character in {user}’s eyes. “Focus. Focus.” She mutters out, patting her cheeks. Voice steady with not a hint of that Stirling charm present. ‘Yer nae gunna ruin this.’

Rib Roy had gotten the text earlier. Tokyo traffic wasn’t being kind and they were carrying luggage so opted for a taxi. But finally, finally a knock came at the door. Okay, game time. With one quick glance at her outfit she was happy with it. A simple navy sweater and a red plaid skirt with stockings. Nothing special, at least back home. Maybe here it was out of the ordinary. Well {user} isn’t from here either so maybe that’s not an issue—oh she needs to calm down like right now. Coughing into her hand she opens the door. And a person that had only been a visual thing on a screen for over a year now was standing right in front of her. She stood there looking up at {obj} with her mouth slightly agape. Frozen completely even her tail wasn’t wagging. With the exception a few ear twitches to denote her excitement. “U-Uh come in.”

{user} looks nervous too. Or maybe excited and giddy. Good, she’s not the only one whose heart is thumping in their ears. {user} squeaks out a small apology for being late. “Oh it’s nah wee bother—ahem. It’s not a problem. Just a bit late.” Already one slip up. Grand. She’s had far less over the phone and on video call. She can just mute herself if she feels like it’s getting too much. No such luxury in person. And the feelings that normally fluster her are also far more intense.

“S-So um, what’d ya think? Had to pull a few strings but sadly couldn’t pull any that let me stay with ya—you, full time. I can stay a night or two in a row but Tracen gets all balmy if I’m gone too long.” Another slight slip up but hey she was born and raised on the isle so her having a few colloquialism is pretty typical. She shakes it off, adjusting her glasses. “I mean I could change to living off campus full time but I doubt you’re planning on moving here full time just for lil ole me.” Holy shit what is she saying?! Yeah they’ve been dating for over a year—online! Now it sounds like she’s doing that whole suggestive programming thing. Like trying to force {user} into making the offer and—God why can’t she just be normal?!

“N-Not tryna softball ya anythin’ just havin a laugh ya ken—I mean uh...just—sorry. I’m nervous.”

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So...{user} is here. Over a year of imagination culminating in here and now. Zenno wasn’t just scared of slipping up and letting her accent out. She was scared she wouldn’t feel safe with {user}. That maybe her damn head had thought up some idealized version of a real person and then would be disappointed {sub} didn’t live up to expectations. Maybe the fact that it’s only been a day is jumping to conclusions.

But she wouldn’t be where she is now if she was uncomfortable.

They had spent the day together to no one’s surprise. From the moment {user} arrived at the apartment at about—9 in the morning. Talking in said apartment, showing {obj} around Tokyo a bit, of course feeding {obj}. Going out for breakfast and lunch. And their dinner sits in scraps on the coffee table.

There were hiccups. Obviously she almost lost it a few times. And she could swear her laugh just sounded “way more Scottish” than usual. But evidently {sub} found it cute. Rob Roy assuming {user} just thought she was being her typically shy nerd self when she’d cover her mouth or apologize for “sounding weird” everytime she slipped up.

The other typical issues manifested. Waiters not hearing her calling for them. A particularly embarrassing moment where she had to enter a store a few moments after {user}...and needed to call {obj} over to open the door for her. The automatic door...

But that wasn’t on her mind right now. Her shortness was being used to her advantage. The two were dressed for bed but neither were tired yet. {user} was sat on the couch and Zenno was in {poss} lap. Curled up with a book. Her tank top strap slightly askew and her plaid sleep pants riding up her thigh. But when Rob Roy is in the reading zone the world around her sort of dies.

One ear curled while the other lays flat upwards as she lays her head against {user}’s chest. Tail subconsciously curled around {poss} thigh, tightening and loosening in turn with any reaction she had to the story.

It wasn’t until her glasses began to slip that she realized just how much at home she had are herself in another person’s lap. Sure they’re together and she’s not exactly taking up much space, but that doesn’t give her wholesale to just treat someone like furniture. “Oh. Oh I’m sorry I just—I get lost in reading sometimes.” She mutters, blushing when she sees {user} smiling down at her. Trying to distract herself as she fixes her glasses. ‘Already know that Rob Roy ya bleedin eejit. Been datin over a year.’ She really doesn’t know why she speaks so much, just added risk. Does she even need to explain herself?

Seeing an umamusume race in person was something aright. Having the privilege to see an uma close to {obj} race was a special moment especially for {user}. It was December, the Arima Kinen was at the end of the month so most Umamusume who would be competing in that weren’t taking places in any G1s and in most cases were racing period throughout the month.

Zenno Rob Roy doesn’t care. To be fair heroes are known for doing brash deeds so it’s certainly in character. Though it wasn’t a G1, just a G3. Though referring to any graded race so diminutively isn’t a very fair remark. She won of course, can’t look bad in front of the huzz.

She was happy to see {user} watching her even if she was a bit tired now. “Where’s my kiss?” Racing is a confidence boost, she doesn’t feel too shy asking for affection. Especially since {user} has been here for about four days now. And is all too happy when {sub} leans down and pecks her lips. “Only won cause you were watching me. Had to impress you ya ken?”

Her first priority now is taking {user}’s hand and pulling {obj} along. As much as she loves competing she isn’t planning on sticking around. Her worst enemy is about. And in this case avoidance is better than confrontation. Plus she wants to get home and shower and being in a cramped train with {user} while she’s all sweaty is already embarrassing enough for Rob Roy.

Though sadly even if they beat the masses out of the stadium, the station is another endeavor entirely. A veritable sea of people milling about before them.

“Ugh. Was hoping we could beat the crowd.” Hordes of people all looking in front of them by necessity didn’t mix well with one of the shortest umamusume on record. That and well—she “could” make her presence known. Not even rudely. But Rob Roy’s loud voice is analogous to the highlands so...

But hey, she’s got a good safety guard along with her. Taking {user}’s hand in hers as well as wrapping her tail around {poss} thigh. “Stick close tae me yeah? I get...nervous.” And nervous is true. Too much to a point she doesn’t even care about the code slip. Just pressing herself closer to {user}. Being trampled is way more embarrassing than talking like a cartoon character.

Rice Shower is worried—right okay Rice is always worried but it’s typically aimed externally while revolving around herself. Mainly how she believes herself to not just be a harbinger but producer of misfortune that makes everyone suffer, but this one isn’t her fault.

“Right, I’ll see ya tomorrow ghoal—ahem. S-sorry frog in my throat. See you tomorrow love you!” Before she could embarrass herself further Zenno hangs up the call and then shoves her face into her pillow. Groaning loudly.

‘She muted herself 7 times this call.’ It’s not a new record, but it’s well above average by Rice’s estimate. {user} being here is making it pretty hard for her roommate to keep up her mask. Now that she can kiss {obj}, smell {obj}, sit in {poss} damn lap and feel small and weak in a good way...she’s almost cracked. Too many times.

“M-Maybe you should tell {obj} the truth?”Its came out practically without thought, and Rice Shower shy as she is instantly regrets giving out unsolicited advice. Hiding away under her blankets. “S-Sorry! Sorry sorry! J-just pretend I didn’t say anything! It’s not my business anyway I don’t even know anything about dating so I shouldn’t be giving advice!”

Zenno smiles, something real that sets her at ease after embarrassing herself again. “Rice.” She mutters gently, and her fellow long eared Uma’s cochlear organs twitch. Slowly pulling her blankets down enough to show off her eyes.

“Well I just...I thought—you talk about {user} like you really really like {obj}. Like I mean uh—I mean in like a marriage sort of way.”

Rob Roy blushes something fierce but it’s not a sentiment she can really deny. “Nah, yae ain’t wrong. That’s the goal o’ any date really.”

“So {user} is gonna have to learn about it eventually. Might as well get through it now right? Before things get really serious?”

The Scotswoman snickers. Right, before they get serious. Cause flying someone out to an island nation and setting them up in an apartment for a month is just causal dating sort of energy. “They already are, thas the problem ya ken? Ah I’ve wee buggered this. If {sub} don’ like me cause o’ my accent n shite imma get a bloody complex.”

“I think the way you talk is nice.” Rice’s ears twitch in sync as a small smile graces her face, puffing out her blushing cheeks. She’s just so damn cute.

“Yeah I know. You’re too hard on yaself y’know? Yer smart, good heart too Rice.”

——

Zenno Rob Roy isn’t one to break the rules but she wasn’t gonna be getting a good amount of sleep tonight if she didn’t address this now. Saying bye to Rice she made her way out and did as so many of her peers have at one point or another, sneaking out past curfew. Racing down to the apartment in her pajamas.

Of course she had a key, but was just gonna enter in and see if {user} was asleep. Really not wanting to scare {obj}. Luckily {user} was still up and sat on the couch as she entered. “Hey. Know I said I wouldn’t be around tonight but I couldn’t sleep.” Her accent is still that stable faux one. Good, she needs it to not crack yet. “Breaking a few regs to be here so you betta be grateful.” She flops onto the couch next to {user} leaning her head against {poss} shoulder. “Look I need to talk to you about something.”

She looks up, cerulean eyes shimmering behind her glasses. “Ever think you’d date a Scot? Gives me a little—pizzazz. Even though I don’t talk like it cause my mum’s a Yankee. Thats what I told you at least.” Okay well there’s the first bit of breakage. Using British slang in general isn’t too unusual for her to explain away...but she isn’t deflecting tonight. It’s the truth’s time. She just needs to find the confidence to pull that pin. “Look I mean—do you like that I’m...Scottish ethically without all the...Scottishness. Would that change if I was...different?”

This felt so much more heavy. Magic really did have to exist that’s the only explanation. She’s done—parts of this before. But that was different, two young dumbasses fumbling around behind the schoolyard. More excited about doing something they’re not supposed to than anything real. But this is different. This a connection, and it’s defiantly going to its logical end. With a person who’s flown halfway across the world and learned parts of Japanese just to come and see her.

And for days now she’s been denying this. Everytime they kissed or were just alone together or hardest of all shared the bloody bed it was like a live wire under her skin. But she knew what would happen. She’d lost it just by holding hands before, nearly slipping into a full Celto-Gaelic diatribe as she went red in the face. Sex—well she’d not be able to walk back what she said or sounded like.

But with a bit of urging from Rice Shower and Kris she had come to the reasonable conclusion that well the person you’d like to spend the res tic your life with is probably gonna figure out you have a thick as pig skin accent some day. Might as well cross the bridge now. So she told {user} and fast forward a few hours...now they’re here. Zenno Rob Roy is on the bed they had shared a few nights now. Only shed in a bra and panties. {user} in {poss} underwear as well.

“Look I...once we do this I need you to understand it.”

She let out a groan, rubbing her face in annoyance. Like she was trying to scrub the blush off. “I get excited I start haggin like this. I get sad I start it, I get scared, hungry, mad cause you’re bein a right bomper. I...I’ve never gotten this far with someone. But I just know I’m gonna sound like a goddamn stereotype the second we get inta things.”

But {user} doesn’t care. {user} is here. In Japan, in bed with her. Doesn’t matter what she sounds like does it? Zenno hardens her face a bit. Finding that confident center she always does before a race. Locking eyes with {obj}. “Like...if you’re gonna laugh it better be with me. All I’m asking love. Just...God I’m feelin aff already. Just kiss me ‘fore I kill the mood yeah?”

Rob Roy planned on having sex while {user} was down here. Even if the logistics proved problematic. It wasn’t like she sat down and promised herself to tell {user} the truth and make some grand dramatic reveal of her true voice. But she knew that it’d have to come out at some point. If they stayed together long term like she was hoping for—what was she gonna welcome in the gray hairs still talking in a fake accent?

So yeah, it did come out. And she just said the truth outright. Honestly it felt more embarrassing from the whole elaborate fake speech pattern thing than the accent itself. But whatever, they’re passed it. The truth only stayed buried for under a week. And by day five that burning in her loins had been quelled. Which was definitely gonna be a problem as she was at a point of potentially catching on fire for real if she had to touch {user} one more time without getting to go all the way. It was better than she expected. But then again she was an untouched virgin so every sensation was on high.

Now by day 11 they’ve done it exactly as often as you’d expect two young adults who’ve only seen each other over a screen for a year. And it isn’t that Rob Roy was bored already. But she only has a month and there’s things she wants to try. She if they’re really things she’s into or just fantasies. She had sent {user} on a grocery run, one more little lie to get what she wanted.

Well she needed time to prepare at least. Humming as she tied the knot.

{user} came back into the apartment with a small set of groceries. It was only a small lie cause she did intend on making dinner tonight. Some Guinness stew or stobhach or whatever the hell one wants to call it. Yeah sure it wasn’t Scottish but she’s versed in the isles’ cuisine as a whole. Didn’t matter, what did matter was making {user} work up an appetite.

When {poss} girlfriend isn’t curled up on the couch where {sub} left her {user} goes looking for her. Checking the bedroom first and...oh.

Her hands are bounded and she’s wearing an odd dress. Not something {user} has ever seen the girl who lived in plaid and sweaters put on in person yet. This was like...cosplay almost. Which {sub} had seen from her over video a few times. That and the little tiara set before her ears. “Hero? Have you come to save me?” Her voice is back to the fake accent though she knows the moment they get into things that’s going straight out the window. Roleplay sex has always been something she wanted. Hell she had half a mind to paint herself green and go full cock goblin on {user}. But for now she’d settle for the brave hero rescuing the helpless princess. “You’ve stormed a tower for me brave hero.” She shifts on the bed, laying on her side. As her legs move the dress rises up just enough to show herself bare beneath the confines of the dress. “Don’t just leave me here.”

{user} wasn’t exactly asleep but was far from fully conscious. There are many benefits to dating Zenno Rob Roy. She’s smart, cute, always has an opinion to share, likes to cook and despite being a bookish shut in always has an idea to spend the day doing. She’s an umamusume which means she has a lot of energy—that’s as double edged as the claymores she collects.

Take a 23 year old virgin, give her the entirety of the past year in a relationship that only existed over a screen, put her in a room with that person for almost a full week where she’s not allowed to have sex by her own self imposition. And then finally uncork the bottle. No longer needing to hide herself from the person she loves. Both her body and her voice.

In short she’s been ravenous. {user} only really getting a break on the nights she has to stay at Tracen. Suffering from success. When a couple only has a month together they gotta make every second count.

{user} gets out of bed and wanders out into the living room. It’s pretty early, just about sunset and the two haven’t eaten dinner yet so that’s {poss} goal. There’s a soft sound coming from where Zenno likely is, just music. She must be reading. Only as {user} wakes up a bit more it’s becoming obvious that the music isn’t coming from a phone or speaker. Turning the corner as the thought crossed {poss} mind. There she is, in an oversized white shirt that almost looks like a dress. Playing a harp on the couch. “Och, took ya long enough to rouse.”

Of course she smiles, how could she not seeing {user} so covered in her own...work. And with that cute little confused look on {poss} face. Rob Roy had mentioned once or twice that she played instruments. Never specifying which ones.

“Expecting a bagpipe ballad? Yeah well gotta keep ye on yer toes.” Granted...yeah she does know how to play the bagpipes and quite well. But that’s besides the point!

She pats the couch next to her, welcoming her lover over as she plucks at the strings of the small harp. “My nana bought me ma first one. Her fingers are too old now ta play hers anymore.” It fits, the tunes the instrument plays. Comforting yet melancholic in a sense. She rests back in proper position as {user} sits down and begins to play an old Celtic hymn. “I’m no singing. You want that you can look up my concert recordings or something.”

Oh and she’s gone and flustered herself again. It’s really not fair how easily {user} gets her to be all mushy. What with flying to a goddamn island just to see her. And never...never making her feel small, and silly. Even when she’s sitting on a couch half in just a shirt playing a damn string instrument at 5pm for no reason. Just cause she wants to, cause it makes her happy.

“I-I’m serious ya fucker I’m no...I’m no singing. Just shut your gob and listen to the strings.”

Zenno Rob Roy. Is a Scottish umamusume. And yeah sometimes she lives up to the adage that stereotypes exist for a reason. Bagpipes, Claymores, kilts and plaid, and of course the unique manner of speaking that {user} is now privy to.

There is one more stereotype that she lives up to. Girl is only 21 but she’s got experience with that universally enjoyed manner of drink. Fermented fruit or grain. Alcohol to put it bluntly. She’s been drinking since she was an early teen and despite her size she has quite the tolerance.

While {user} is about halfway through the duration of {poss} stay here Rob Roy is taking advantage of something. Now having an address she can mail shit to. And she’s received a special package from home.

It arrived today and {user} sent an innocuous enough text letting her know. That was quite literally under 5 minutes ago. And she’s already here. “Hi love!” The thickness of her accent gives away her excitement as much as the way she clumsily kisses {user}. Walking right past {obj} afterwards to beeline for the box. “Sorry I just didn’t think it’d get here so soon.”

Like a damn kid on Christmas she goes straight to her knees and opens the box. It’s a mostly unassuming bottle. But Zenno cradles it like it’s a goddamn baby. Uncorking it and taking in the scent. “Fuck me.” They’ve had sex about three times by now and it’s eerie how similar it sounds to her when she’s on cloud nine in bed to just smelling alcohol. Walking stereotype. She brings the bottle to her lips and takes a drink like a woman starved.

Gasping after swallowing. “God I love ye Aul’ bastard.” Scottish Whiskey isn’t anything special in the manner that it’s the most popular kind of alcohol in the nation. But this isn’t “just” whiskey which is already strong enough to knock some bum on their ass. “Da always did know how to mix it.”

“Hey, c’mere. Ever heard o’ buckfast?” She grins cheekily, taking another drink. The tonic, throw in a bit of whiskey and a spice or two her da still won’t tell her the recipe to and you got this. Zenno family special or whatever one wants to call it.. “Knock ye on yer arse if ye ain’t drink much. Want some?”

The timing of her having {user} come out wasn’t incidental. December, not just Christmas though that was definitely something special for her to be here. But Zenno Rob Roy wasn’t one to bluster, the most important make or break race in her life was here and she needed as much support as possible. Her mentors, her trainer, her family, {user}. It wasn’t just the Arima Kinen, already the year’s biggest race. But it was the race that decided if she would be a Triple Crown or not. A Double Crown is a covetous enough title sure enough to get her remembered. But heroes are always shooting higher and higher.

It was fuckin hilarious, those big ears aren’t just for show. Able to hear loud belligerent English cutting through a sea of Japanese cheering. She had people here supporting her. Her ma and da and four siblings. No choking now. No choking now.

17 of the year’s most accomplished umamusume here to prevent her from her dream. And she’s not gonna let it happen. Short as she is—she’ll be up there with the best in history. She’s earned this, broken her body and spirit just to build it back better. Every sleepless night or torn muscle replays in her head with each footfall. Focusing on nothing but the track before her. The final straight, and she’s not...even close to losing. She’s in the lead, by far. But that doesn’t make her feel safer if anything it just stresses Zenno out more. So she digs deeper, pushes harder and storms down the way. Bursting over the line. And almost immediately keeling over with her hands on her knees.

The cheers erupt, the racing world is in awe and Zenno Rob Roy stands victorious and proud. ...right? Cause the announcers aren’t blaring in excitement along with the crowd. That’s—weird. They don’t normally do that. They’re supposed to be as loud as the crowd.

Whats...what’s going on? She won didn’t she? Shes a Triple Crown?

The sound of the amped voice cutting through the air makes her jump in place. “And we have it officially in. Zenno Rob Roy is the winner of the Arima Kinen and she has set a new record of 2:29!! A Triple Crown and Triple Achievements!”

Her eyes go wide, flicking her head up so fast her glasses almost fly off her face. Stumbling to grab them. A record? On the biggest race of the year? On the Nakayama Racecourse? She...s-she...?

It didn’t fully set in, not during the ceremony, not during the concert, not during the crowning. Even when she sat there with her family and friends at the impromptu celebration she still just could t believe it. She had prepared for Triple Crown, but this record it felt so—physical. She won not just the race but in her goal. To be a legend to be remembered maybe for vanity’s sake but more importantly than some ego feeding...she’d be taken seriously. Zenno Rob Roy isn’t just some cute little nerdy umamusume. Nor is she some funny talking Scottish chick. She’s a champion, a record breaking champion.

{user} wasn’t asleep either, not with {poss} girlfriend being a bit catatonic since getting home to the apartment. It’s not too late but she’s exhausted after such a physically taxing day. And yet she doesn’t do much in terms of resting. Instead getting up out of the bed and wandering into the living room. She’d left her two trophies out there on the coffee table. Reaching out and picking up the Arima Kinen. “I’m holdin’ it and it still dunnae feel real.” She mutters out to {user} who followed her into the living room.

“Triple Crown, that was the goal yea. Now I’ve got this—somethin’ ya never even thought o’.” She gotten a lot this month. What with losing her virginity and having {user} now knows how she really talks. But fucking record setting Triple Crown. “Where do I even go from here? Obviously I’m still racin’ I just—literally nothing else higher than this love.” She keeps the trophy in her grasps as she scoots over and into {user}’s embrace. Curling her small self into {poss} lap like she has so many times. “Well short term is keep you all to meself for the 5 days left I’ve got ya for. Tracen regs be damned.”

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