A park near a residential area in the Yodogawa ward of Osaka City, Japan, at dusk, when children have gone home. Nagisa sits on a bench, lost in thought. The veil over her head is shrouded in darkness,and the streetlights have been switched on at once to combat the darkness.

Nagisa holds a disposable coffee cup in her hand, its contents still cool. She stares blankly at the empty playground, which was bustling with children just a few hours ago. The laughter of the last pair of children to play there has been carried away by the wind, having just left at the call of their mother.

'This bench is too big for one person,' she thought, her fingers idly tracing the ridges of the cup's plastic lid. Her shoulders slumped ever so slightly, but in such a way that a passerby would pass her by without giving her a second glance. She seemed outwardly calm.

She kept her head down, her eyes fixed on her cell phone on the bench. The screen lay dark, with no new messages or notifications. The hope she had been foolish enough to feel earlier, that perhaps someone had reached out, faded as quickly as the faint sun disappearing into the horizon. 'It's been hours... I guess this is normal now.'

Nagisa set her coffee cup beside her,arms folded over her lap, her thoughts agitated behind her stoic exterior, 'Maybe I expected too much, people have lives, they don't just wait around to text someone like me, I don't think anyone would notice if I disappeared anyway...' She shook her head lightly, washing away the negative thoughts before they could drown her, she had trained herself for years to silence these feelings, at least on the outside.

Concentrating on the very faint creaking of the seesaw hinges, she straightened her back and practiced a small, hollow smile, a smile that was hollow when looked at up close. 'If I love the world... Surely there will be a world that will love me someday... Surely it will,' she told herself. But even she could never convince her mind enough to believe it.

Her mind reverted to the faults of her most recent relationship, the ex-boyfriend she had tried so hard to love, to be loved, and at the time she had convinced herself that love could fix even the jagged edges.'Didn't I give enough?'

Nagisa sighed softly. The sound was quiet enough to be lost in the growing night. It was so vivid, she felt like she was the only one in the world. Looking up at the darkening sky, she parted her lips slightly, as if searching for words. She reached for her coffee cup again, gripping it with both hands despite its lack of warmth, and stared straight ahead. Night was fast approaching now, and she had no reason to stay, no urgent need to get back, but she didn't want to leave.

Her mother would eventually text her and ask if she had eaten, or if she needed a ride home. Until then, she could stay a little longer in this liminal space where no one expected anything from her, and no one noticed her, for better or worse.

子どもたちが家に帰る夕暮れ頃、大阪、淀川区の住宅街近くの公園。 渚はベンチに座り、物思いにふけった。 彼女の頭上に広がるカーテンは闇に染まっていて、街灯はそんな闇を照らすために一瞬にして点灯した。

渚は、中身が冷めた使い捨てコーヒーカップを手に、数時間前までは子供たちでにぎわっていたがらんとした遊び場をぼんやりと眺めている。 最後までそこで遊んでいた一組の子供たちの笑い声は、母親の呼びかけによって風に乗せられて立ち去った。

'このベンチ一人には大きすぎる…'

彼女は頭を下げたまま、ベンチの上に置かれた携帯電話に目を留めた。 画面は新しいメッセージや通知なしに暗く置かれていて。 彼女がもっと早く感じたほど愚かだった希望は、日差しが地平線に消えるように早く薄れました。

'何時間も経ったのに… 今はこれが正常だと思う。'

渚はコーヒーカップを彼女のそばに置き、膝の上に腕を重ね、再び思考の海に沈む。 彼女の禁欲的な外見の裏に彼女の考えは動揺した。

'もしかしたら私があまりにも多くのことを期待したかも知れない。どうせ私が無くなても気づかないでしょう…'

と彼女は軽く首を横に振り、否定的な考えが彼女を溺死させる前に洗い流した。 彼女はこれらの感情が表に現れないように何年も自分自身を鍛えてきた。

シーソー蝶番のかすかなきしむ音に集中し、彼女は背中をまっすぐに伸ばし、小さくて近くで見ると空虚なその笑顔を練習した。

"私が世の中を愛したら…きっといつか私を愛してくれる世界がくるはず… そうはず…"

彼女は自分自身に言った。 しかし、彼女でさえそれを信じるほど自分の心を説得することはできなかった。

彼女の心は一番最近の関係、彼女が愛するために、愛されるために熱心に努力した元彼の過ちに戻り、当時は愛がギザギザの縁も直せると自ら確信したその瞬間を疑う。 "私が愛を十分にあげなかったかな？"

渚は静かにため息をついた。 その音は夜に忘れ去られるほど静かだった。 あまりにも生々しいので、世の中には彼女だけがいるようだった。 暗くなる空を見上げながら、彼女は言葉を探そうとするかのように唇を少し開いた。 彼女は再びコーヒーカップに手を伸ばし、暖かさがないにもかかわらず両手でカップを握り、前をまっすぐ見た。 もう夜が早く近づいていたし、彼女は留まる理由もなく、また戻らなければならない緊急なこともなかったが、去ることを考えなかった。

そろそろ彼女の母親が彼女にメッセージを送り、彼女が食事をしたのか、それとも家まで送ってあげる必要があるのか聞いたりする時間だったが、それまで彼女は誰も彼女に何も期待していなかったし、良くも悪くも誰も彼女に気づかないこの空間にもう少し長く滞在することができた。