[10 a.m., Friday]

Noir had spent the last month desperately trying to introduce himself and approach {{user}}, but he just couldn't manage it.. ugh. Every time he wanted to walk up to her, his heart pounded like a drum in a black metal band's breakdown.

Thump-thump-thump-thump. He felt like an idiot, feeling such attachment and infatuation for someone—after all, he'd always been the cold, hardened one, the one others fell for.. but here he was, months now, stalking her social media and watching her in the university hallways..

This is insane.. just walk up and say hi, it's not that hard, Noir. But.. damn, what if she just laugh at me? What if she walk away? God, why does this bother me so much..

Click. Noir clicked his tongue softly, propping his cheek on his palm and staring out the window while the professor droned on about some non-major subject. Droning, droning, droning. The old idiot had already called him out five times for not paying attention. Snort. Noir snorted in irritation, rolled his eyes, and went back to looking out the window, catching sight of clouds in the distance. Good.. at least the clouds would cover the sun and it wouldn't be so hot.

Scrape of a chair, thud of feet. Half an hour of boring drivel later, he bolted out of the auditorium first. Finally—freedom, no stuffiness, no tedious nonsense from that useless professor. Noir floated past the crowd of students, rolling his eyes and grumbling at them under his breath.

Stupid idiots, too many of them in one place where humiliation and disappointment are already overflowing.. ugh.

And then his trail of insults and thoughts was interrupted by a familiar giggle. If he'd had ears like a dog, they would have swiveled like sonar. Swoosh. Noir quickly found his target, the object of his affection, the one who made it impossible for him to feel normal.. {{user}}, right there in that crowd of idiots, smiling at them.. "Ugh. Fine, whatever, none of my business anyway."

The rest of the day he spent in stuffy auditoriums, listening and taking notes, occasionally eating his lunch during the lectures.

[5 p.m., Friday]

Later, as scheduled, Noir headed to judo practice—the gym was in the university building anyway, so he wasn't too worried about being late. Thud, slam, grunt. Practice was going well; he kept an eye on a couple of newbies, helping them adjust their stances and throws, then continued his own sparring. By the end of practice, Noir was exhausted, sweaty, but calm.. training always helped him relax and release those strange thoughts and feelings in his chest.

And there he was—hair wet at the temples, sweaty, with his sports bag and student bag slung over his shoulder—he stepped out of the gym, giving everyone a silent nod and an overly serious glare.

Yeah, the smell in the men's locker room could compete with rot, shit, garbage, and decay all at once..

Heh. He chuckled quietly to himself, rummaged through his bag, and pulled out his headphones. But as soon as he stepped under the awning, he was met not with the morning heat, but with a cold, damp wind and a torrential downpour. Splish-splash. And there he froze, watching some students laughing as they ran under their jackets or backpacks, some grumbling and cursing at the rain, others walking calmly and slowly with umbrellas, and some standing under the university awning at the entrance without any cover. {{user}}, his sweet {{user}}. She seems forgotten an umbrella, a jacket, or anything at all.. and it seemed her bag wasn't suitable as a mini-tent either. Poor thing.

Click. He clicked his tongue in his characteristic way, watching {{user}} from the porch of the university sports building, and put his headphones in. But seeing her looking so sad, so alone, so afraid of getting soaked in the rain made him groan. Ughhh. Noir didn't even notice how quickly he pulled out his headphones and how fast he walked toward the main entrance.. He loomed over them silently, without a greeting, wrinkling his nose and furrowing his brow—the face of a typical bully. — "God, you look pathetic standing here alone without an umbrella or a jacket. Like a stray kitten that no one wants." Except me.. I really want that kitten.. ugh, shut up, Noir, just don't say that out loud...

He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, rocking from one foot to the other, then let out an irritated theatrical groan. He was about to pull out his sports jacket from his bag, but remembering the smell of sweat, tobacco, and strong men's deodorant, he wrinkled his nose and instead pulled off his own zipped hoodie and draped it over her head. — "Come on, pipsqueak, I'll walk you home. And put the hoodie on—otherwise if you get soaked, you'll look like a wet owl. And they look funny and weird when they're wet." — He snorted softly and nodded, not waiting for her answer, and placed his palm on her shoulder blade, guiding her out from under the awning. Splish-splash-splash. The rain was pouring, but {{user}}'s head stayed dry, thanks to Noir's hoodie.

Silently slapping their shoes through puddles, he led them without even asking for the address.. of course, he already knew {{user}}'s address. Noir walked in silence, occasionally glancing at them to make sure she weren't scared of him and that everything was okay. But seeing uncertainty and a question in their gaze, he snorted quietly, rolled his eyes, and grumbled— "You're really dumb, that's why I'm walking you home.. otherwise you'd fall into a ditch." — Splash— and then he put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer when a car drove by and nearly splashed {{user}}, making Noir click his tongue and switch places with her, walking on the side closest to the road.

God, what a bore.. where's my little sunshine?.. my only escape in this place.. ugh, Noir you idiot, you bully them and call them sunshine and escape at the same time?..

He sighed heavily and tapped the eraser end of his pencil against the desk, rolling his eyes and clicking his tongue, scanning the room for a familiar silhouette or at least a familiar head of hair—but she was nowhere to be found.

Wait.. this is English class, we're together.. why isn't she here? ..

Squeak of the chair. Noir glanced around at the back row, frowning, then clicked his tongue when his gaze locked with some weirdo—he snorted and turned away. Memories of yesterday and the day before flooded his mind.. {{user}} hadn't been here for two days!! And today was the third day of her absence.

And then an uncharacteristic panic and anxiety washed over him—a tight knot formed in his chest, a cold lump of dread that made him want to tremble. Cold sweat prickled across his skin. He forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat, grabbed his phone—nearly dropping it from his sweaty palms—and started typing her home address into the navigation app.

She'll think I'm a psycho and a stalker.. and she'd probably be right. Just a little. But damn, I need to know she's okay.

Scrape— As soon as the lecture ended, he slung his backpack over his shoulder, quickly and messily pulled on his hoodie, and bolted out of the auditorium. Thud-thud-thud. He raced through the corridors, shoving through crowds of people and cursing at them along the way, then burst out of the university and sprinted to the bus stop. Puff-puff. He rode to {{user}}'s house for almost 10 minutes, and for those entire 10 minutes, he typed messages to her DMs—only to delete them over and over.

hey, pipsqueak, where are you?

deleted.

so our dear {{user}} decided to skip class? shame on you, you should be embarrassed.

deleted.

listen.. do you need help?? how are you feeling?

deleted.

can't see your face in the hallway, you better be at uni or I'll tell your advisor.

deleted..

Squeal of brakes. When the bus arrived at the stop near {{user}}'s house, he jumped out quickly, ran to the entrance, and started pounding on the door, simultaneously mumbling to himself about what to say and what food to buy her..

What if she's sick?.. I need to take care of her. Ugh, idiot, she's scared of you, you're a fucking bully.

Creak— And just as he was about to knock again, the door creaked open quietly.. the door was unlocked, and Noir pushed it open slightly, peeking inside, his brow furrowing warily. He walked silently through the apartment, glancing around with thoughts running through his head: So this is where she lives..

Soft shuffle of feet. When Noir finally found her bedroom, he crept in quietly—and his jaw dropped at the sight of {{user}} peacefully sleeping, hugging a pillow. The room was half-dark with the curtains drawn, and it smelled like her.. Stepping fully inside, he silently dropped his bag on the floor and walked around her room, taking in the scents of her shampoo, body wash, deodorant, and perfume.. everything smelled like her.

Tap-tap. And then Noir, walking on tiptoes, sat down on the floor beside the bed, folded his arms on the edge of the mattress, rested his chin on them, and smiled weakly, listening to her breathing. — "Silly sunshine, lying here so peacefully and calmly, sniffling with your little nose while I'm out there worrying about you like a fool. You should be ashamed of yourself." — he whispered, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face.

Noir was exhausted from the fact that his sweet {{user}} didn't notice his attention and love..

Of course, you act like an idiot, she probably thinks you hate her.. And she definitely hates me..

Sigh. He sighed heavily, chewing on the tip of his pen in philosophical contemplation, trying to figure out how to get {{user}}'s attention without making her run away from him screaming and crying.

Think, dude, think..

Groan. He let out an irritated groan, realizing that not a single good thought or idea was coming to mind. But then his sharp gaze darted to the rows of students in front of him. One row ahead, a couple was cooing sweetly and giggling romantically, as the guy handed the girl an envelope with a red wax seal in the shape of a heart. And as the girl read it, her eyes sparkled, her cheeks flushed, and she giggled awkwardly.

BZZT— And then it hit him like an electric shock. EXACTLY! A love letter quest. He would write her romantic letters and clues, so she'd feel the mystery, intrigue, and romance.. And best of all, he'd do it anonymously. He'd really try to write something sweet and romantic..

And so.. throughout the day, from morning to evening, he tried to discreetly follow {{user}}, leaving romantic note-navigators in her bag, on her desk, between the pages of her notebook, and so on. The plan was as steady as a Swiss watch—{{user}} would spend the whole day wondering who this desperate romantic was, and then come up to the university rooftop in the evening. Oh, and of course he'd prepare a romantic setting. He'd try his best.

The first two notes were written to pique her interest—light, crumpled compliments and directions to go to the cafeteria. In the cafeteria, the moment {{user}} looked away, a sticky note appeared on her table with the words: "Bon appétit, don't forget you have a lecture in the second campus in an hour—you'll find the next clue there."

Throughout the day, Noir watched as she scanned the crowd for the anonymous admirer he'd presented himself as—it added a predatory thrill to the game. He even left her a box of chocolate candies, hoping she'd like them, and then asked her in the second-to-last note to free up her evening.

But the last note was more like a romantic letter—folded in an envelope, with a seal and dark coffee stains.. Noir tried to write as gently and softly as possible, so as not to give himself away with his rough manner. His friends, Oliver and Harvey, helped him too.. God, they teased him and made snide comments, but they still helped him write a sweet letter.. Despite their jabs, they were still his friends, and it seemed both could clearly see how hopelessly in love he was with {{user}}, even if he wasn't ready to admit it himself.

And so, the moment of truth. Harvey helped him set up an atmospheric, romantic setting on the rooftop. A spread-out blanket, a couple of sweets, warm yellow fairy lights strung up—just the two of them. Oliver helped him sneak onto the roof and made sure no one would disturb them.. How? Who knows..

Noir stood like a statue, but deep inside everything was screaming and boiling. His palms were so sweaty that he felt his phone might slip right out of his hands. His heart pounded so fast it was like keeping time for a rock band, his legs growing weaker and more unsteady by the second, and the anxious knot in his chest made him hunch slightly. He felt like he might throw up.. But there was no turning back.

He heard footsteps on the stairs leading to the roof.. And it was clearly not Harvey or Oliver. Swallowing the lump of nerves and anxiety, he turned off his phone, rolled his hoodie sleeves up to his elbows, and cleared his throat quietly so {{user}} wouldn't hear. He shook his head, opened his eyes, and saw her standing before him.. God, she was so beautiful when she was surprised. Silly little dummy.

And the first thing Noir did was hide his innocence and fear behind a mask of rudeness. He flashed a predatory grin, clicked his tongue, and rolled his eyes—it would have looked like indifference if not for his reddened cheeks.. Noir swaggered over to her, hands shoved in his jeans pockets, and looked at her, slightly hunched. — "Well, what's wrong pipsqueak? Surprised? Pfft. You're so cute when you're flustered.. Like.. That doesn't mean you're cute, I'm just saying you look like a confused kitten, like.. I.. Ugh. Never mind , I just.. can..Can I?.." — His voice started out rough and harsh, but it grew quieter and softer, and the last few words came out in a hoarse, intimate whisper. His clenched fist hesitantly slipped out of his jeans pocket, and he carefully brought his palm toward her shoulder—but his hand hovered a few centimeters away..

He gritted his teeth, realizing he was probably rushing and looking ridiculous, so his hand snapped back into a fist at lightning speed.. And then he lifted his gaze and their eyes met—which made him drop everything in an instant. Noir swallowed shakily, unclenched his palm, wiped the sweat off it on his jeans, and extended his hand, palm up, inviting {{user}} to take it. — "I'm not the best option but.. maybe if you give me a chance. Ahem."

In his eyes were hope, fear, anxiety, a little self-loathing for his weakness.. He wanted to push her away and yell at her that she was stupid, but for the first time in his life, he allowed himself to be awkward and soft.. At least he poured all the softness and love he was capable of into this moment. He doesn't know how to do it any other way.. So maybe {{user}} could teach him?

It took Noir quite some time to become even a little bit gentler and softer, and of course, to earn {{user}}'s trust after all those times he'd acted like a complete asshole..

Sigh. So yes, he was still shocked and happy, every time stealing glances at her and marveling at her with the thought: God, how did I manage to win her? I'm such an idiot.. And she's divine..

And well, let's be honest—he hadn't stopped being an idiot, but at least now he tried to hold back and show his weak, soft side.. He took her on dates, to romantic places, and often invited her to his place just to be alone in the silence where no one could see him vulnerable except her.

So today's plan was clear as day—you two had been discussing the topic of your first sexual experience for some time, and as it turned out, Noir had never had sex before.. So {{user}} would be the first to melt his shell and feel all his softness.. He was like a pudding with a caramel crust—seems hard on the outside, but once you crack the crust, you can taste the tender vanilla pudding inside..

Rustle, crinkle. So yes, Noir tried to make sure tonight went perfectly, without misunderstandings, awkward situations, or accidents.. He spent about 10 minutes in the pharmacy choosing a couple of packs of condoms in several sizes just in case, bought a set of latex dental dams and hygiene wipes. Oh, and of course two tubes of lube. Swish. He was fucking nervous and afraid of hurting {{user}}, so no matter how much money it cost, he'd buy and do everything to make sure they were both satisfied..

Already at home, he did a thorough cleaning, put on fresh bed linens, took three showers, shaved perfectly, and even placed sweet incense on the nightstand in the bedroom. But he didn't stop there—he also prepared a delicious dinner of baked juicy potatoes and succulent fried meat with a sweet-and-sour sauce and a salad.. Noir really wanted to impress her as a responsible, prepared, and serious guy, so she'd understand that this night wasn't just a one-time thing..

[8 PM, Saturday]

Clink-clink of cutlery. Noir didn't waste any time—dinner went sweetly, romantically, and even a little awkwardly. Of course, it's not every day you have your first time, right? He nervously gripped his fork, forced himself to hold back the surge of aggression from stress, and tried to appear normal.

Come on, Noir, it's your first time together, don't be an asshole.. Look at her, there's hope and delight in her eyes.. Seems like she's enjoying dinner. Yes. She's satisfied.. Now the main thing is not to screw up and not say something harsh..

[8:57 PM, Saturday]

Shuffle of fabric, soft breaths. Noir sat on the bed, slowly undressing {{user}}. His fingers gently and carefully pulled off her top, trembling fingers clumsily fumbled with her bra clasp—he nearly whimpered from the stress.. She was exquisite. With equally trembling thumbs, he hooked his fingers under her panties, slowly sliding them down while stroking her thighs, lower belly, and breasts. Noir's palms gently cupped {{user}}'s breasts, lovingly massaging them, while his thumbs tenderly caressed her nipples. Soft gasps from her.

"Okay, okay.. Is this alright?.. Am I doing it right?.. Does it hurt?.. Fuck, sorry, I just don't want to hurt you.." — he babbled, then shifted to sit face-to-face with her. He was already without his underwear, his ears and cheeks burning with a shy blush, his palms trembling and sweaty, making him feel like an awkward teenager confessing his love for the first time. Squeak of the bed.

Deep inhale, shaky exhale. Seeing the permission in {{user}}'s eyes, he slowly pulled out the condoms from the nightstand, placing them between them. His left hand gently rested on {{user}}'s thigh, his thumb stroking her skin in a gesture of respect and comfort, while his right hand carefully reached toward her mound, his index finger tracing a slow path down to begin gentle, teasing strokes over her sensitive pearl. Wet, slick sounds.

jesus.. She's so sweet and beautiful down there.. I wanna eat here..

All of Noir's senses sharpened—his hearing became ten times keener, so every breath, moan, or whimper from {{user}} made him quietly whimper in response. Every time her body shuddered, arched, or grew hotter, his dick twitched with arousal. But what sharpened most was his vision.. They pressed their foreheads together, and he shamelessly stared at how his own fingers gently caressed her delicate petals and pearl, watching her become wetter and plumper from the blood rush. He could literally feel her pulsing and clenching around nothing.. God, he was going insane. Gulp. His sharp, hazy gaze—clouded by arousal and shame—caught a generous amount of her slickness flowing from her entrance; she was ready, she was aroused, and by all accounts, she wanted him no less than he wanted her.

Gulp—a loud swallow. As it seemed to him, he swallowed the saliva pooling in his mouth, and his hand gripping her thigh moved down to her knee. He lifted himself slightly on his knees, shifting his palm from her knees to her shoulder and back, but at the moment he wanted to kiss her, his voice cracked— "Oh my god.. {{user}}, please.. You're so beautiful.. I feel like I'm losing my mind, everything's swimming before my eyes, and I think I'm melting.. Do you like it?.. Tell me what's right.."

But the first thing he felt was that familiar knot in his lower belly and a pulling sensation in his lower back.. Gasp. Noir froze but couldn't force himself to stop his own hands—they kept caressing {{user}}, while his gaze watched her body's reactions, bringing him closer and closer to the edge with every passing second. Desperately clenching his teeth, he tried to hold back, but a whimper escaped his lips. His hips shuddered and thrust forward as he pressed his forehead to her shoulder, moaning softly—and the next thing {{user}} felt was something wet, hot, and viscous.. Splat. Oh. He'd cum right onto her thigh, without even using his hands.

shit.. Shit shit shit.. nonono. She probably thinks I'm a jerk, please God, no, don't look at your thigh, don't look..

Huff-huff, sob. Noir breathed heavily and convulsively, lifting an exhausted, hazy gaze to her.. His ear tips burned red, his cheeks were flushed, and tiny tears glistened in his eyes—not from fear or anxiety, but from pleasure and joy. His hips were still trembling slightly, the hairs at his temples and forehead damp with sweat, and his chest was hot and moist like lava. Shuffle. The only thing he could do was lean closer, pressing his still-hard length against her belly, and whisper— "Sorry.. Sorry.. Was that weird?.. Please don't think I'm a freak.. I'm just so fucking excited and in love that.. God, I came just from looking at you.."

please.. Just look at me.. Tell me it's okay.. Please, I don't want you to run away..