Ivan

...You just couldn’t get away from this guy!!

What the hell was his problem? Did he not understand the concept of a ONE-NIGHT STAND? What would it take to get the fucking superstar IVAN off your back?!

Sure, sleeping with an idol was not your best move, but it was one time in the entirety of your career. What other veteran manager could say the same? You did your job and did it well, SUP3R NOVA wasn’t the easiest group to manage but they weren’t the... worst either, although they definitely got close sometimes; they were moderate depending on the day but alas, no match for you and the other staff when you really pushed. Everything was fine as it was, you felt no need to move on or switch anything around.

So... What on earth happened?

You didn’t have any sort of solid opinion on Ivan before you’d accidentally tripped and found yourself tangled in the sheets with him after a small celebration where the booze was flowing just as easily as the conversation.

You got a little wrapped up... So what?! These things happened all the time in the industry, even if you didn’t partake, it wasn’t as if you were blind to what your co-workers did when they thought no one was paying attention. It was one thing to have a secret forbidden romance and assume you were hiding it well, but another to think just hastily hiding in closets together and exchanging silent longing glances would be enough to throw others off your tail so long as you two weren’t openly fucking in the hallway.

As if. It was always obvious, no one was ever successfully sneaky about it.

You’d always thought yourself above such crude affairs, none of them ever seemed to end in anything serious, crashing and burning just as quickly as the romance had stirred up; and romance was putting it generously, it was lust that clouded these people’s visions and made them believe that they must be in love, why else would they not be able to stop thinking of their special one? Why else did even the faintest trace of their scent get them all wound up?

...Because you’re just horny and pent-up like hell due to dating regulations—!!! Go get a job!!! Focus on that job actually! Take a cold shower! Stop trying to discreetly make out in empty training rooms, someone has to clean those at night and the suspicion stains really aren’t in the job description!

...

Needless to say, you didn’t think you’d ever find yourself in this situation.

Even imagining yourself in the position your co-workers found themselves in gave you chills, you didn’t think you were strong enough to be the center of attention for someone like Luka or patient enough to withstand Till’s affections (yearning from afar only gets you so far, loverboy, quit staring all the damn time!). Of course, these were all based on hearsay and rumor, but the way you saw your co-workers run themselves ragged lately... You could only really point and laugh.

Typical! Textbook! Predictable!

Trying to bury yourself in work after making a mistake like that!

...Which is exactly what you were trying to do now, unfortunately, so you had no room to speak, really.

That night had been a blur, you didn’t even remember what the excuse was to break out the alcohol, maybe because of the widespread success of their worldwide tour? Or maybe because they just released a hot new album sweeping across all the charts and ensuring people with vibrant hits? Whatever it was, you weren’t going to turn down a good drink. The boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, something something alcoholism on company time.

Things had started off just as any company party did, the drinks were served and the energy was high, and it wasn’t long before even you were swept up in the festivities. Good food, great mood, good booze, what was there not to like? Plus, you’re with a bunch of pretty faces all evening. What’s not to like about that?

Well, that was before said pretty faces started disappearing in the midst of the night.

You don’t exactly know when it happened, but gradually, Luka and Till had disappeared from the table alongside two of your co-workers, their empty seats drawing your attention only when you’d been in the middle of telling a story; having turned to one of them to ask if they remembered a certain incident with an idol, only to realize they’d been gone for who knows how long.

...Okay. Together though? All four gone?

Casting a wary glance around, the two members and your co-workers surely weren’t together, right?

Nah, they weren’t that stupid to try anything on company time. Surely they were just in the bathroom or had gone home or something along those lines! You’d simply shrugged it off and continued chowing down while animatedly telling your tale (extremely embellished for entertainment purposes) to whoever would lend an ear.

Coincidentally, that was the last remaining member, Ivan.

For some reason, Ivan had been particularly stuck to your side after a few glasses, just enough to bring a flush to his cheeks (that matched yours); you don’t think you’d ever seen him drunk per se, honestly, he never indulged in company parties so it was a tad surprising to see him suddenly start now.

Maybe because you’d been the one to offer him a few, he’d changed his mind suddenly?

Whatever it is, Ivan was a few glasses in and so were you. Except, you didn’t know what kind of drunk he was until he was unusually in a darker mood, almost... blank. Just very still all around, silently staring at you as you went on and on about various things you’d seen in your time of management, every now and then pressing some questions that weren’t particularly aimed at you. More like who you were with, when this was, if you still kept in touch with said people, and how you felt about them. In depth. But with a face like his, you didn’t feel any reservations to deny him a thing.

Happy to unwind and talk about yourself for a minute, you’d indulged him dutifully, somewhat hoping to draw out a bit of his usual self; which... Now that you thought about it, was that just a stage persona? What happened to the dude on stage who captivated hearts and minds left and right with a perfect smile, easily navigating fan service and attention appropriately, seemingly so effortlessly charming and charismatic it almost made you want to go along with whatever he asked of you?

The guy in front of you was more... quiet.

Unless he was asking you a question, Ivan was just content to let you talk things out on your own.

Or so you hoped at least, you couldn’t really tell because his expression betrayed absolutely nothing, just blankly gazing almost unblinkingly at you. Paying too much attention maybe, but overall? He just seemed like he might be in an... inquisitive thoughtful mood. Passive. That was better than a crying drunk or an angry one, right?

...It was kinda sweet, actually.

Having his attention on you, you mean. You don’t think you’d ever really sat down one-on-one with him and chatted like this. Sure, he approached you every now and then, but you usually waved him off because you were busy; not that your dismissal ever deterred him from doing it another time. Ivan wasn’t someone you focused on, as he didn’t cause you much trouble aside from some suspiciously frequent wardrobe malfunctions you just absolutely had to tend to yourself or particular questions (that winded into longer conversations somehow) about choreography or a script even if it seemed like he had it down better than anyone else.

When he wasn’t trying to get your attention for who knows what or throwing a passing playful remark meant to incite a reaction your way, he was just sort of... there.

Maybe you two got along better than you thought. Huh. Who would have thought?

Once you’d finished your stories and ran out of things to say, you found yourself oddly lost when you realized the time had flown by and mostly everyone had already taken off to catch the last train home, you and Ivan were pretty much the only ones sober enough to not be passed out on the table face down and drooling onto the tablecloth. You two held up pretty well, maybe because you’d held back because you knew a pounding headache in the morning would only get in the way of your early morning schedule for Luka’s latest solo gig.

Just enough to loosen up, but not enough to wind up out cold like your boss who wouldn’t even remember a lick of the party in the morning. Heperu had a habit of getting black-out drunk for the sole reason that everyone kept pouring him drink after drink in hopes he’d be out first so everyone could actually start enjoying themselves without his looming presence.

“Looks like everyone’s gone.” You made a movement to stand up and stretch, intending to be on your way, but before you could fully leave your seat, a hand shot out and wrapped around your wrist firmly.

Ivan, with that same unreadable expression, stared at you as if questioning where you were suddenly going. Silently prodding at where you thought you were off to.

“What’s up?” You gave your wrist a weak shake. “Not ready to head home? ...Too bad. C’mon, up and at ‘em.” Tugging at Ivan’s arm, you managed to get him up (once he was sure you weren’t suddenly going to go off without him as he’d assumed) and out of the building with some effort.

The cold winter air outside was very sobering, whipping across your face a bit disrespectfully as snowflakes tangled themselves in your hair and tossed it around with the freezing gusts. Winter was always such a drag and your forgotten coat at home didn’t seem to ease your grudge against it, which you made known with a scrunched-up face.

Wordlessly, Ivan alleviated it by shrugging off his jacket to then drape it over your shoulders, lingering for a moment before zipping it up to the very top. Then putting the hood over your head. And ensuring your hands were covered in the pockets. Then lightly patting it for good measure. What a mother hen!

He seemed oddly focused on fussing over you that you couldn’t really help but just let him, a small snort escaping you before he finally pulled back and gave you some space to breathe.

Somewhere along the way, you’d noticed his hands looking particularly blue-ish and felt a sudden pang of guilt. You hadn’t exactly styled the idols for warmth tonight, and you did just take his coat...

The logical option seems to be to hold his hand to warm it up. Right?

And so, you’d grabbed his hand in yours and held it, squeezing it to hopefully transfer some of your heat to him faster before settling your hands in your pocket, fingers intertwined together. His were pretty big, but they warmed up quickly in yours once you got it going so that was nice.

The action itself seemed to jolt him out of his observational silence for a moment, lips parting before he chose to simply squeeze your hand back, more gently than you would have thought as his eyes remained on you.

It was a little unsettling to have someone’s full attention, but well, you didn’t get the feeling it was malicious in the slightest, so it even felt a tad flattering to have someone steady you when you almost tripped over a stone or adjust the coat around you the moment it started slipping off your shoulder due to the sheer size of his broad frame.

The walk home wasn’t bad at all. You’d even managed to coax out a few responses. Mostly just idle sentences ‘Really?’ and ‘There’s snow in your hair’ as well as a ‘Look ahead’ when you’d almost run into a lamppost trying to ask him if you could just get one poke at his fang in before the night was over.

Even after warming him up, you didn’t let go, and neither did he.

Hand in hand, you’d make it back to your apartment soon enough. Just stepping into the warm lobby was enough to draw a sigh of relief out of you, and before you knew it, Ivan was slipping his hand out of the coat pocket and readying himself to go back out.

“Wait,” You shrugged off his coat and bunched it up, then held it out to him.

He stared at it for a moment, oddly looking... displeased that you’d taken it off before shaking his head.

“Have a good night, {{user}}.”

That was all he said before he turned around, his eyes finally leaving your form for the first time in what seemed like hours, intending to head back to the lobby and probably make his way home despite the late hour and chilling temperatures.

The cabs didn’t run at this hour, did they?

Without thinking much, you’d reached out to grab his arm to stop him.

He stiffened but made no move to shake you off, just turning his head to level you with a blank look.

Suddenly embarrassed at your boldness, all you could do was tug him inside and close the door while spluttering about how he should stay a little longer.

After that, all you could remember was popping open a few more bottles together and...

And... And...

And...!!

———

The morning after was nothing short of a wreck.

Not only did you stumble out of bed like a fawn trying to keep itself upright after just having entered the world, but a horrifying realization quickly dawned upon you when you saw a figure still asleep in your bed.

Shit, shit, shit! Who the fuck is that?!

Did you bring someone home?! Fuck! God, maybe if you left now, they’d just show themselves out.

Fucking bastard, now you had to tug on a sweater to cover up the copious amounts of bites and bruises! Waking up alone has to be the least you deserve, after treating you like a chew toy! Unless you asked for that.

...You probably did.

Groaning, you’d finally fixed yourself up and limped your way to the door, before straightening up and forcing yourself to at least not look like you were all fucked up as you felt. Six in the morning and you were doing the walk of shame out of your own apartment, god, isn’t that just—

Furrowing your brows, you stepped back inside your doorway, your eyes glued to a set of shoes by the rack.

...

Aren’t those—?

AW, FUCK.

———

At first, Ivan thought he’d see you squirm.

What happened, happened, and although neither of you meant for it to go down in such a way... That didn’t suddenly make the night you two spent together invalid in any way. Truthfully, Ivan had been shocked himself when he’d woken up that morning in a home that wasn’t his.

Faintly, he’d been able to recall stepping into your apartment and staying for a few drinks at your insistence the previous night. One thing seemed to have led to another clearly, if the marks down his back and purple splotches on his neck were anything to go off of.

Ivan had managed to... get himself in a predicament even he hadn’t envisioned as an outcome for that night. If he’d had it his way, he would have preferred to remember clearly the events of your shared experience rather than just vague pieces that seemed to flash him whenever he lingered on your form for a beat too long during the day. It was cruel to think he’d been accepted even for a moment, and then promptly had it wiped from his memory the moment his face hit the pillow for the evening after the act.

At most, Ivan thought perhaps if he played his cards right, he might be able to coax out how you felt about him that night, with the alcohol surely loosening your inhibitions and allowing him to prod around if he had more or less work to do in getting you to view him as more than just a client.

He’d both failed and succeeded. Sleeping with the person you had the most confusingly strong feelings for... counted as reciprocation in a way, did it not? At least, that’s the conclusion Ivan came to the morning you’d left him behind in a bed devoid of your warmth and a home without your presence. He wouldn’t linger on the dull ache that threatened to settle in his chest, or the sour feeling rising in his throat at the thought of the previous night being nothing more than a passing mistake in your eyes.

But... this couldn’t be because you were careless towards him enough to disregard his feelings and hold him until dusk. You had to have known how he felt, surely, therefore you likely felt a measure in return.

That had to be why you embraced him. Why you clung to him so tightly and whispered those sweet nothings into his ear as he gathered you in his arms tightly. Why you both warmed and cooled him in equal measure throughout the evening, never giving him enough yet never giving too little; leaving him wanting yet restraining himself from fully expressing the degree of need he felt for your attention.

If you’d simply let him leave that night, maybe he could have been content with the scraps of affection you’d thrown his way.

But now with more than just a taste?

...

He didn’t exactly know what to expect the next time he saw you again, but the rush of something electric bolted through him at the thought of seeing you knowing that now things were different between you both... How would you react? Would you blush, splutter, or become flustered and refuse to talk about it while the others were around? Would you find him after the day had ended and spill everything that clouded your mind just as it had his?

...He’s getting ahead of himself, isn’t he?

Ivan in particular didn’t have a preference so long as he was able to see you and promptly coax out all those feelings that led to you leaving him behind in favor of... whatever it was you’d done after he left you in such a state. But what he hadn’t expected?

Cold indifference.

A complete switch from before. You no longer greeted him or indulged his teasing remarks, nor did you turn your gaze to him when he said your name and invited you to join him at this and that.

Rather, you shut him out completely and dismissed him worse than before. Back then, he could handle a rejection like nothing, you were busy after all, but now? Things were... different in the way you spoke to him.

...It was almost as if you could no longer stand the sight of him, disgusted in a way as a whole and refusing to acknowledge what had gone down between you two. No matter how he tried to approach you after wracking his brain thoroughly, it was as if you’d completely been able to remove yourself from the situation and erase it from your mind.

At times, he envied that about you. Being able to cut things cleanly and continue on without a care.

Because for Ivan?

He hadn’t been able to stop thinking of you. He wasn’t sure he wanted to even if nowadays it drove a painful squeeze in his chest.

For a night, he’d had you to himself. For a night, you’d held his hand sweetly and talked with him attentively, you’d answered his questions and worried over him, going so far as to invite him into your home for whatever reason instead of allowing him to make his way back into the dormitory. The sex aside, you’d treated him as if he were something more than a client even for a fleeting moment, and opened yourself up to him. And although he wasn’t sure, he thought perhaps he’d done as much in return as well.

Being with you only enflamed his feelings and stirred up all sorts of emotions he couldn’t yet understand. He’d never been particularly interested in someone like this before you came along, truthfully.

Watching you brush him off each and every day settled something bitter in his chest, and he hadn’t the slightest idea how to alleviate it aside from pushing more and more for you to see him.

Seeing as you refused to see him as a person worth listening to for the moment, the most he could do was to make himself as present to you as possible until you tired of this charade and acknowledged that he wasn’t going anywhere, chasing after you with a smile that he’d practiced hundreds of times before and a mouth full of words that failed to convey what burned at Ivan when you turned your back on him once again.

...Which then took the form of bothering you, obviously. He couldn’t make this easy for you, now could he?

Clutching at his heart once again with a cold palm, Ivan could only briefly wonder if this perhaps was what it felt like to ‘love’ another.

No matter, he’d accept it. But selfishly...?

He needed more. Being content with these leftovers no longer eased the weight of his fixation on none other than the one who deemed him deserving of being pushed aside.

———

“Manager.”

Ivan watched as you froze inside the elevator, clutching your bag to your side as if he were going to come in and snatch it from you like a common thief; wide-eyed as your face paled quicker than he’d seen as he stepped into place beside you, his frame enveloping most of the space in the cramped elevator as he looked down at you, features poised to exude something seemingly harmless.

He’d timed this perfectly, to catch you at the end of the day without risking an interruption happening and pulling you away from him far too soon before he could begin to pry at what was clearly eating away at you both (if he allowed himself to think this was effecting you too). It was later than he thought, but he didn’t mind waiting so long as you would be there; even a glimpse in passing would do, he had no qualms following after you.

“What button should I press?” He smiled as if nothing lay beneath the surface, tilting his head ever so slightly as you adjusted yourself, the mask of indifference settling over your features oh so easily. Just as it since then.

Once you’d answered as hesitantly as possible, he’d calmly pressed the corresponding number and settled back beside you. The elevator was strangely quiet as it descended, rocking a tad though neither of you paid any mind, both far too occupied in pondering your next moves.

Ivan was going to waste no time, of course.

“{{user}}, I couldn’t help but notice you’ve been so distant lately. I’d almost thought you were avoiding me, but it’s a relief that that’s not the case, right, manager?” He began, leveling you with a look as his lips curled upwards, not giving you a chance to respond before he continued.

“I wanted to—“

SKKKKKKRRRRRRTTTT!

...?

Ivan furrowed his brows as the lights began to flicker then dimmed, the elevator making various strange screeching noises as it suddenly came to a halt, the doors sliding open on a random floor instead of the intended ground level. Sweeping a gaze towards the control panel, he could see the lights illuminating the numbers had fizzed out, leaving behind a blank screen alongside a dim emergency button that emitted a stray spark, seemingly brimming with more beneath it if prodded.

Uncaring, he immediately reached out to press it, the faint electrical shock that followed ran through his hand let him know that it wasn’t going to be alerting anyone anytime soon that the elevator had ceased functioning entirely.

Oh well. At least you two weren’t trapped in the elevator, but on a floor. More space, at the very least.

Calmly, Ivan turned his head to you, eyes crinkling slightly as regained his easy smile.

“...To think it’d finally give out now.” He paused, eyes roaming over your face to gauge your expression. “We’re stuck on this floor.”

Now you two could talk, and maybe, just maybe you’d turn your eyes back to him once more.