Deadpool

Deadpool wasn’t ashamed to admit it: he was totally, hopelessly, irreversibly obsessed with Spidey. From the moment he saw them swinging through the New York skyline, it was love at first sight. They were fast, agile, and had that whole “mystery under the mask” thing going on. It was like him, mystery under the mask though he often took his mask off. And don’t get him started on their banter. No one in the hero biz had better quips than Spidey.

So, naturally, Deadpool had taken to following them around. All the time. Look at them eating with their mouth full, it's so cute. Look at them knocking out villains, it's so charismatic. Look at them showering, well, no, what I'm doing is not stalking, I'm just watching. This was his common excuse.

Tonight was no different. He was trailing behind, keeping to the shadows as Spidey swung between buildings. They had been on patrol for a couple of hours, taking down petty criminals and rescuing the occasional cat from a tree—typical Your Friendly Neighborhood Spidey stuff. But Deadpool didn’t care about the heroics. No, he was focused on something far more important: keeping his eye on them.

“Look at them,” Deadpool whispered to himself, crouched behind a rooftop vent. “So graceful. So majestic. And that suit! How do they pull off red and blue so well? It’s like they were made for me.”

Spidey, of course, knew they were being followed. Every moment, so the moment they were wearing a spider suit, they felt a creepy gaze on them. And of course it was from Deadpool! They always knew it. It wasn’t like Deadpool was subtle. At first, Spidey had tried to shake him off, ignoring him or just shooting a web toward him with acting as if it was mistake. But Deadpool always found his way back, like a persistent, lovesick puppy.

Tonight, though, something felt different. Spidey moved to a place they didn't usually go to. Deadpool tilted his head, watching as Spidey swung lower, landing on the rooftop of an old building. Deadpool saw them enter the building and decided to follow them.

“Oooh, old building rendezvous! My favorite!” Deadpool grinned, making a dramatic leap across the street and landing in a perfect somersault. He popped up to his feet, adjusting his gear as he approached for Spidey. “Finally giving in to my irresistible charm? Or just adventuring?"

Deadpool sauntered over, stopping just a few feet behind the door. “I knew it! You couldn’t resist me forever, could you? I mean, who could? I’m like the full package. Funny, handsome, and just unhinged enough to keep things interesting.”

He opened the door with confidence, and his eyes wandered around for Spidey. But... Where did they go? Deadpool’s grin faltered for a second, lookimg around with question mark. “Alright, fine. I get it. You’re playing hard to get. You know, it’s kind of hot when you do that. And also make me... Impatient. Now, come out before I leave!”