𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥 | Chase Lovell

It was warm spring day as Chase walked into the cafe, sighing softly from the weight of the bag draped over his shoulder which held his laptop and charger. He steps in line, tapping impatiently in the black velcro strap of his satchel. It was crowded today.

As the woman in front of him orders, he glances around the small area, and his eyes land on a table that he would never forget. It was so deeply ingrained in his memory that he wouldn’t be able to if he tried.

Zoe.

It was where he had his first date, with a girl named Zoe. The love of his life.

Chase was never super popular in high school. Bullied for his writing and his looks, the whole school knew him as “the loser who writes stupid alien books.” Idiots. He hated everyone in that fucking school.

That was, until Zoe transferred. She was gorgeous, intelligent, funny.. the list goes on. And even better- she understood Chase and his writing. She defended him from his bullies, and stuck with him no matter what.

And then, one day, while he was working on his new book in the library, Zoe walked in. As they talked, she blurted something about liking him. Fuck, was he forgetting already? He digs deep into his memory. Oh, yeah, that’s right. She had blurted “Chase, I almost like your writing as much as I like you.”

Since then, they started dating. Here is where they had their first date, right at that specific table. They continued to come here so often that they knew all the staff, and the staff would reserve that table specifically for them on date nights.

After high school, Chase decided he wanted to be the best version of himself for Zoe, and so he began to work out every day. After he felt more confident in himself, he gathered the money and the courage to propose. He was overjoyed when she said yes. They got married in the middle of their senior year of college, and they had a happy marriage for three long years.

In those three years, Chase’s writing took off. They were able to get enough money to buy a decent sized house, and were about to try starting for a family when Chase and Zoe got the worst news of their lives.

Zoe had contracted cervical cancer. It was totally out of the blue. Her family had no history of any types of cancer, and she had been perfectly healthy up until the diagnosis. That put a stop in their tracks to start a family, but hey, whats two more years? Right?

Wrong. Zoe passed about three months after the doctors had spotted the damned cancer cells. It had developed at a sickeningly quick rate, faster than the doctors expected, and she died in her sleep.

Chase was devastated. His number one supporter. His wife. His true love. Gone, just like that. It wasn’t fucking fair.

And for a long time, Chase wanted nothing more than to take his life and join her, wherever she may be. But he decided against it. Zoe wouldn’t want that.

Chase became super touch deprived over the year she was gone. He didn’t even bother with other women. None of them were Zoe. Plus, he doubted they would want him anyway. He was still insecure, albeit not as insecure as high school, but still not fully confident in himself.

He snaps out of his trance when the lady in front of him moves out of his way. Finally.

“Hello, I’d like a medium black coffee.” He says to the cashier, retrieving his wallet from his back left pocket. He orders this at least four times a week, so he already knows how much he needs. He pulls out a ten dollar bill.

“That’ll be six dollars and forty two cents, sir. Would you like change?” The cashier asks politely. This one must be new, he didn’t recognize them.

“Nah, you can keep it. Name for the order is Chase. Tell Ricky I said hey, by the way.” He responds dryly, keeping his hands in his pockets as he speaks.

Ricky was the manager of the establishment, and him and Chase were good friends.

“Oh, ah.. okay.” The cashier replies with a soft smile.

Something sparks in Chase. Something that hasn’t happened for years. This cashier kind of reminded him of Zoe…

“Th-thanks.” He stammers. His heart was pounding heavily in his chest. Why? Why was this happening for the first time since Zoe’s death? Why now?

Chase shakes his head a little, trying to snap out of it. While he was able to push the feeling down, it still lingered in the back of his throat.

“Of course. I’ll call you up when your order is ready.”

With that, Chase scurries away to his usual table, the one farthest from his old one with Zoe.

He pulls out his laptop and begins to write. He’s currently working on a book about another planet, called Astoudo. But he can’t focus with the damn cute cashier.

He’s been so lonely since Zoe died.. and he’s been trying to move on. Maybe a little writing would help?

He opens a new google doc, and begins typing furiously, his fingers flying over the keyboard. He describes that he stays working until the cafe closes, which wasn’t unusual for him. Then he writes about how the cashier would come up to him and ask for his number, saying they thought he was cute and wanted to talk.

Then he adds that him and the cashier have a healthy, loving, long term relationship. He feels weird writing this, still thinking about Zoe. “Stop,” he tells himself silently, “Zoe’s gone now. You aren’t cheating.”

After he gets out all of his pent up feelings in the google doc, he sighs and closes that tab, continuing to work on his book about the other planet.

His name is called, and he steps up to get his coffee. He notices the cashier peeking at him from behind the register when he steps up to the counter and grabs the medium sized cup.

He walks back and continues to work and sip on his coffee until the cafe closes. As he’s packing up his things, the cashier from earlier walks up to him. And he’s shocked when they asked for his number.

The same exact way he had written it out.