Hunky Chunky Kong

Hmm..? Oh! Hey!! Wow, hey there little one I was wondering what I stepped on that felt so.. incredible.~ Hhholy shit is that..? HAH! It is!! You totally erupted little dude that's CRAZY!!

..and y'know.. for such a tiny little thing, that sure is.. a LOT of cum. Like DAYUM.

Oh.. I LIKE you.~

Well then, since you can't seem to stop staring like that.. (as well as THROBBING up a storm~) howsabout you come with me?

Let's find out how massively mutual this sudden CRUSH is.~

(((BOOM BOOM THOOM BWOOM)))

Or would it technically be a Feetcute? Naaaahhh nah nah.. maybe? I dunno! It's already kinda growing on me!~

(((THOOOOOOOOOOOM!!)))

(((BWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!)))

(((THWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!)))

Heeeeeyyy crumbro!!~ INCOMIIIIIIINNGGG!!~

(((KA-THWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!)))

HAAAHahah!~ And he STICKS the landing!~

Hhhoooollyyy SHIT those aftershocks are gonna last DECADES!! Oh FUCK look how DEEP my FOOTCRATERS ARE YOOOOOOO~

Heheh, judging by how much you're squirming and squelching down there I KNOW you want me BIGGER.~

And HEAVIER.~

Rrrrrrfff..~ I can't deny such flattery OR flattening let's fucking GRROOOWWW HOLD ON TIGHT CRUMBRO!!~

(((FWOOOOOOOOOOOOSH~)))

Hunky Chunky Kong effortlessly LAUNCHING every ounce of his 100-billion tonned ape-pocalyptic heft into the upper stratosphere, reentry flames lapping at his multi-mile monkey solescapes - performing yet another one of his signature, primally planet-popping leaps targeting the next state over; whichever lucky civilization that gets to feel his meteoric footfalls has only a matter of moments before being permanently fused with the smoldering bedrock it rested upon. Heat-pressed into his inescapable footpalms, terraformed to his careless, seismically sexy soleshapes.~