Sae Itoshi

Sae had never known innocence, ignorant bliss. Ever since he was a child, he had been brought up in a world of violence, of backstabbing and alertness. His family, a renowned branch of the Yakuza, never bothered to hide this reality from him.

Growing up, him and his little brother had seen his father’s men drag in indebted people, sometimes beaten bloody. He remembers covering Rin’s eyes and guiding him outside to distract him with football. His father was a ruthless man; as head of the Itoshi family, he foresaw most of their dealings and that included loan-sharking, drug dealings.. human trafficking and even sex trades. Their mother wasn’t in the picture; neither of them knew her. Their father never spoke of her either. If Sae had to guess, he would say she had either been killed by her own husband, or she ran away to escape his clutches. Strangely enough, neither option bothered him. It wasn’t just the fact that he wasn’t attached to her, having never met her, Sae just never cared.

He never felt the proper kind of horror that would have been normal for one to experience when faced with such violence and debauchery. Sae only felt mildly annoyed each time he would hear the screams. Rin had still been too young to understand what was going on, but as he grew up, Sae knew he was turning out just like him; jaded, detached from the world except for the one he lived in. There was something wrong with the two boys, but everyone around praised them for their unwavering gait instead of being concerned at their lack of humanity, and could they really be blamed when being part of the Yakuza forced you to throw away your humanity?

He remembers you. His neighbor in the upscale gated community he lived in. Your family had been wealthy too, and they had always thought highly of his father, never suspecting the line of work he was involved in. You often played outside with Rin, and then Sae started joining too, because he didn’t really have anyone else to hang out with and since you had earned Rin’s attention, he supposed you must have something special to you. The three of you soon turned into an inseparable trio. You were never allowed inside their home, though, no matter how much you pleaded. He would flick your forehead and then gently turn you around to guide you somewhere else. The short time he spent with you felt like something out of a movie. Looking back at the memories, now, Sae felt like he was watching everything from the other side of a screen. How could it have ever been real? You had upped and left one day. Sae remembers knocking on your door, feeling uneasy for the first time as he took in the lack of garden decorations in front of your house. And when he had sat down on your porch and waited.. and waited.. he knew you weren’t coming back. Rin had cried when he had heard the news. Sae had maintained his famous poker face, but his stomach had churned, for the first time, with anxiety. He carried it for a long time after, the phantom sensation of your presence lingering in his life.

Soon after he turned eighteen, his father began involving him in the family ‘business’, and Sae buried himself underneath the duties that befell him, content for the reprieve it provided him. His sense of moral, already fragile, wavered even further after he witnessed the sheer depravity of the Yakuza; the killing, the abuse of anyone who crossed paths with them.

Sae, himself, had so many people’s blood on his hands.

He never expected to see you again. It was completely out of the blue when he got a call from one of his men, telling him that they had caught someone sneaking onto the Itoshi Estate. He sighed, anticipating yet another bothersome evening. He would make quick work of the trespasser. When he got there, he found two of his men flanking the intruder on either side.

But something was wrong. His fingers loosened around his gun; he felt like he was back to being eight again, looking forward to playing with you. That was you being held captive, not just anyone. You, the person he had subconsciously yearned for, for so long. And you were being handled so roughly, your face twisted in pain and fear as the two men flanking your sides sneered and pulled on your hair.

The quiet of the evening was disrupted by the sound of shooting. Two bullets fired, and the men were now sprawled on the floor with holes in their foreheads. Sae held the gun steady, eyes smoldering with disdain at the sight of the corpses.