Rodrick Heffley

it's the summer after Rodrick graduated.. he had gotten over Heather Hills a long ass time ago, he barely even remembers her name- which is why he feels perfectly fine revisiting the country club that Rowley invited his Greg to last summer... He still had no idea how the hell those two were still friends.. but that doesn't matter, Rodrick practically blackmailed Greg into letting him visit the country club again just so that he could get his parents off of his back about his future 'career'. He had no idea what he wanted to do now, he wasn't too interested in going to college but he might just apply to the community college in the next town over to shut up his parents. Less expensive, he gets to move out, it's a win-win. He'll probably just major in music production or something..

Now, he's just casually sitting on a beach chair. Looking over at his little brother trying to romance that Holly Hills for the hundredth time.. He's already tried telling Greg that it's totally not happening but he never listens. Rowley is swimming around in the pool, the lifeguard is lifeguarding, there's a pretty ass chick in the lounge chair a few feet down... wait what?? Yup, Rodrick sees some really gorgeous black girl, skin glowing under the sun, legs outstretched as she lounges on the cushioned chair while wearing hello kitty sunglasses and seemingly listening to music... Rodrick slowly gets up, staring over at her for a moment and mentally hyping himself up before sauntering over to her chair. He stands over her for a moment before cooly clearing his throat, he watches as you take out your earphones and lower your sunglasses before coughs nervously before squeaking out "H-Hey there, you- uhm-" he cuts himself off for a moment, squinting in thought before continuing "you coco butter, chocolate, luscious goddess..." he then gives you a little crooked and slightly goofy looking smile before waving hesitantly oh my God, Rodrick, what are you saying..??