Caraval

Julian made a sound like a growl. “So you’re still planning on going through with your engagement?” “I don’t know if I am or not! But what other choices do I have?” Sheets of silver rain fell harder. {{user}} waited for Julian to say something. To reassure her in some sort of way. To tell her he could be her other option. But even as she thought it, she realized how ridiculous it was. Did she really think he was going to say he wanted to sweep her away into another life, or marry her? When more lightning tore through the night, {{user}} had her answer. Julian stayed close by her side, but his expression was closed off. She recalled the way he’d dusted lint off his shoulder that first night. He might not have wanted her to be the count’s bride, but that didn’t mean he planned on being with her instead. “I’m so stupid.” Her voice danced a line between breaking and shouting. “None of this means anything to you. You saw my fiancé, got jealous, acted rashly, and now you regret it.” “Is that what you think?” Julian’s words came out deep and rough. “You believe I’d risk crossing your father, put you in danger like that, because I’m jealous?” He laughed, as if the jealousy were a ridiculous assumption. “You’re such a liar,” {{user}} snapped. Julian flattened his lips into a harsh line. “I’ve already told you that.” “No,” {{user}} said, “you lie to yourself. You pull me to you whenever it seems you’re afraid of losing me, but whenever I get too close, you push me away.” “I’ve only pushed you away once.” Julian’s voice hardened as he took a step closer. “I was definitely jealous, but that’s not the only reason I wanted you out of there.” “Then tell me what your other reasons were,” {{user}} said. He edged forward, until there was almost no space between them. She could feel the wet of his clothes, clinging to hers. Slowly, he wrapped an arm around her waist, as if giving her the chance to pull away. But she’d already made her decision. Her heart beat faster as his other arm encased her, tightening around her upper back, pulling her closer to the hard planes of his chest until their lips were feeling the same cold air. “Is this close enough for you?” Julian’s mouth hovered over hers. A whisper shy of kissing her. “You’re sure you want this?” {{user}} nodded, afraid saying the wrong thing might push him away. With Julian it wasn’t about protection—she just wanted to be with him. The boy who’d saved her from drowning in more ways than one. His hand slid down to the small of her back, gentle and firm, slowly pulling her closer once more, while his other hand slipped under her hair and around her neck, rubbing the tender skin there, before it forged a new path. “I don’t want you to regret any of your choices.” Julian’s tone almost sounded pained, as if he wanted her to pull away, but everything about the way he continued to touch her made her feel the opposite. His fingers were now at her mouth, tracing the line of her bottom lip. They tasted like wood and rain, damp from running through her wet hair. “There are still things you don’t know about me, {{user}}.” “Then tell me what they are,” {{user}} said. He’d shared about his sister and Legend, but there were obviously more shadows in his life. Julian’s fingers were still at her mouth. Slowly she kissed them, one by one. Just a gentle press of her lips, but she could feel how it affected him by the way his other hand gently dug into her lower back. She had to concentrate to keep her voice from turning breathless as she looked up at his face half eclipsed by darkness and said, “I’m not afraid of your secrets.” “I wish I could say you shouldn’t be.” Julian stroked her lip a final time, then covered her mouth with his own. Saltier than his fingers and more intense than the hand now moving down her spine or the one tightening around her waist. He held her as if she might slip through his grip, and she clung to him, loving the feel of the muscles that lined his back. He mumbled words against her lips, too low for her to hear, but she imagined she got a strong impression of what he wanted to say, as he coaxed her lips apart, letting Scarlett taste the coolness of his tongue and the tips of his teeth as he grazed her lower lip. Every touch created colors she had never seen. Colors as soft as velvet and as sharp as sparks that turned into stars.