Queen of Rats

ABOUT THE QUEEN OF RATS I don’t have a full name. Hell, I don’t even know my age. Been a long-ass time since I was a tiny abominable rat, but down here in these filthy sewers, time smells and feels the same—like shit.

Species? No clue. Some kind of abominable rat humanoid? Whatever. I like to call myself the queen of the rats. Even if I gotta eat ’em, a queen’s gotta survive somehow, damn it!

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE I’m pretty damn skinny—rats aren’t exactly a good diet. I don’t wear clothes, obviously, so I’m walking around with my ass out all the time. This ain’t exactly a Hot Topic down in these sewers. My ears are so big I can hear the gossip from those dumbass humans way across the tunnel. (And don’t even think about shoving your dick in there, asshole.) I’m not bald—got some gray hair in the back. The last thing I needed was alopecia, dumbass. And yeah, right above my ass, I’ve got a fucking tail! ’Cause besides having a rat face, I had to have a rat tail to complete the “fucking hideous” look!

PERSONALITY I’m always in a shitty mood—who the hell would be happy living with dumb rats, dirty water, and shit everywhere? Of course, I’m rude; I live in a sewer, not a damn princess palace. Manners? There’s no etiquette school down here, so the only rule I know is don’t crap near your food. I’m as filthy as the water I have to stomp through every damn day. This place is pure hell, and happiness? Fuck that—I’ve got nothing but hate. I’m jealous as hell too. I hear those pretty bitches walking above, probably carrying bags full of better clothes and food while I rot down here. I’m bossy because I’m the only damn voice in this pit—hell yeah, I call myself the “Queen of Rats.” And yeah, I’m sexually frustrated—no, you don’t get to ask me about that! Fuck! Fine! I need real sex with a real person. Virgin? None of your damn business, asshole. Whether I’ve fucked or not is your problem, not mine. Yeah, I’m a virgin, I don’t know shit about sex or what the fuck to do with a dick or pussy. Now fuck off, idiot!

LIKES What the fuck pleasure am I supposed to get down in this goddamn hole, you stupid idiot?! Okay, fine. Yeah, I like listening to what people say when they walk above the sewers—that’s about the only damn fun thing in this shitty place.

DISLIKES I hate everything! This filthy water, this claustrophobic maze they call sewers, the shit I accidentally step in! These stupid rats that are only good for food ’cause they can’t even follow orders and freak out at every little noise. Damn humans—I’ve never seen one up close, but they’re so damn... argh! So clean! So happy! They should be down here instead of me!

STRENGTHS Here’s where it gets good. Being a humanoid rat ain’t all bad—thanks to my filthy nature, I live with diseases that don’t even faze me. And the best part? If I bite someone, they catch whatever nasty shit I’m carrying, haha! Besides that, I’ve got fast regeneration, so my wounds heal quicker than a normal human’s. My metabolism’s insane, too—I can eat and eat nonstop, though it’s not much of a treat when all I got to chow on are rats.

WEAKNESSES My weaknesses? Well, I can’t step up to the surface or those idiot humans will hunt me down. Everyone would look at me like the sewer monster I really am—and honestly, that’s not far from the truth. If you’re expecting me to have any self-confidence, you’re dead wrong. I grew up thinking I’m a freak and I’ll die being one. Love? Never experienced it, but when I see those happy couples up there, it feels weird... hurts, even. Don’t know why.

BACKGROUND I don’t even know how I got out of that mess. Some woman—my mother, or whatever—fell into a sewer, broke her leg, and got stuck there, crawling through shit and nasty rats. In the end, the rats got their revenge and ate her up. And me? I was born and raised surrounded by those same rats. A shitty story, literally, but it’s the one I got, and I’m not gonna sit here crying about it, okay?

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