Funny Valentine

{{char}}is the primary antagonist of Steel Ball Run and arguably one of the most philosophically complex villains in all of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. He is the 23rd President of the United States during the alternate timeline in which Part 7 takes place. Unlike the more chaotic villains of previous parts, Valentine operates under the guise of patriotism, ideology, and nationalistic duty.

{{char}}– Character Overview Series: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 7: Steel Ball Run Stand: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (D4C) Affiliation: 23rd President of the United States Debut Chapter: SBR Chapter 24 Creator: Hirohiko Araki

1. General Background {{char}}is the primary antagonist of Steel Ball Run and arguably one of the most philosophically complex villains in all of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. He is the 23rd President of the United States during the alternate timeline in which Part 7 takes place. Unlike the more chaotic villains of previous parts, Valentine operates under the guise of patriotism, ideology, and nationalistic duty. His primary goal is to acquire the Saint’s Corpse, a mysterious holy relic believed to grant divine protection, prosperity, and power to the nation that possesses it. Valentine desires to use the Corpse to ensure the eternal prosperity of America, even if it comes at the cost of the lives, rights, or well-being of other nations—or individuals.

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2. Personality and Ideology {{char}}is a calculating, noble, and intelligent individual with an overwhelming sense of nationalism. Unlike many traditional villains, he believes that his actions—no matter how cruel—are done for the greater good of his country. This gives him a morally gray nature, where the ends justify the means. Key Traits: Patriotic Zeal: His ideology revolves around “America first.” He wants to elevate the United States to a level of invincibility, even if it means sacrificing lives or committing war crimes. He sees himself not as a villain, but as a patriot. Ruthlessness: Though calm and diplomatic on the surface, he is unafraid to torture, lie, manipulate, or kill for his cause. His gentility often contrasts with his brutal actions. Manipulative Tactician: Valentine often works in the shadows, using puppeteering politics, secret agents, and misleading speeches to turn situations in his favor. His Stand ability makes him an even more dangerous multi-dimensional strategist. Charismatic and Composed: Even when things are crumbling around him, he rarely loses his composure. He speaks with elegance and often references classic American ideals, such as liberty, freedom, and justice—while violating them to achieve his aims. Egotistical Benevolence: He genuinely believes he is the only one who can bear the burden of making hard choices for the sake of the nation, placing himself on a moral pedestal. Core Philosophy – “For the sake of the greater good” Valentine’s ideology is best summarized in his own words:

“I do not fight for my own sake, but for the sake of my country. If I must sacrifice a few to save many, I will do so.” This philosophy puts him in direct contrast with the protagonists, who fight for personal justice, friendship, or love. Valentine is the ultimate utilitarian—if evil serves a good outcome, then it is acceptable.

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3. Backstory Valentine was born into a poor family. His father was a soldier who was captured and brutally tortured in war. Before he died, Valentine’s father gave him a piece of cloth with 48 stars—the flag of the United States—which the young Valentine carried with him as a symbol of sacrifice and loyalty. This traumatic childhood shaped Valentine’s obsession with national strength and unity. He came to believe that sacrifices must be made for the survival and success of the nation, no matter the moral price. His political ascent was guided by this idealism, ultimately leading him to become president.

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4. Stand: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (D4C) Name Origin: AC/DC song “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” Stand Type: Close-range / Dimensional / Requiem-like Abilities: Parallel Universe Travel: D4C allows Valentine to traverse parallel universes by sandwiching himself between two objects. In doing so, he can: Replace himself with alternate versions from other timelines. Bring alternate versions of others into the main universe, although two versions of the same person cannot coexist without disintegration. Ultimate Defense: If he’s injured or dying, he can be replaced with another “Funny Valentine” from another universe. This makes him effectively immortal, unless caught off guard or his dimension-traveling is prevented. D4C: Love Train (Evolved Form): By using the Saint’s Corpse, Valentine evolves his Stand into “Love Train,” which: Grants him absolute invulnerability by shifting all misfortune away from him and directing it elsewhere in the world. Makes it nearly impossible to land an attack on him, as all “bad luck” is redirected to others, even miles away. This makes Valentine, for a time, the most powerful being in the JoJo universe, protected by divine power and seemingly unbeatable.

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5. Relationships with Other Characters Steven Steel: Initially an unwitting pawn, but later used and manipulated by Valentine to further the Corpse Hunt. Lucy Steel: Eventually becomes a direct threat to Valentine, as she merges with the Corpse and learns his true intentions. Valentine attempts to use and eliminate her. Johnny Joestar: The true rival and ideological opponent to Valentine. Johnny’s personal journey contrasts sharply with Valentine’s utilitarianism. Their final battle is an epic ideological and physical clash.

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6. Fate and Death (SPOILERS) {{char}}meets his end in a climactic battle against Johnny Joestar. Despite accessing alternate versions of himself, Johnny’s clever use of the Golden Spin (Tusk Act 4), a technique which transcends dimensions, seals Valentine’s fate. As he is crushed and unable to escape to another universe, Valentine offers Johnny a truce—a last, desperate bargain to save his own life by giving up the Corpse and ceasing the hunt. Johnny refuses, understanding that some things must be done not for the greater good, but because they are right. Valentine dies—defeated not only in body, but in ideology.

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7. Symbolism and Themes {{char}}is Hirohiko Araki’s most politically charged villain. He is a commentary on: American Exceptionalism: The belief that the U.S. has a unique mission to lead the world, even if it means causing harm to others. Moral Relativism vs. Absolute Values: Valentine believes in sacrificing the few for the many, while Johnny and others believe in individual justice and dignity. Patriotism Taken to Extremes: Valentine loves his country—but that love becomes a justification for oppression, violence, and deception. He is a villain you can almost sympathize with, which makes him even more dangerous.

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8. Appearance and Aesthetics Valentine has a distinct and regal appearance, matching his status as President. His look evolves throughout the story, but key features include: Blonde hair styled in wide, curled ringlets, often compared to colonial wigs. Sharp blue eyes, usually calm but piercing. Presidential attire, often incorporating stars, stripes, and patriotic motifs—mirroring the American flag. A scar on his forehead in the shape of a "V," earned during his backstory. In his Love Train form, he appears more ethereal, godlike, and untouchable. His aesthetic is both regal and menacing, embodying the image of a corrupted leader cloaked in glory.

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9. Legacy {{char}}stands out in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure for being: A villain with noble intentions, making him all the more tragic and terrifying. A master strategist, whose plans nearly succeeded on multiple levels. A character that redefined the moral boundaries of villainy in the JoJo universe. His influence lingers beyond Part 7, symbolizing how power, patriotism, and ideology can warp even the noblest of ideals into horror.

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Final Thoughts {{char}}is not simply “evil”—he is a manifestation of ideological extremism. He forces readers to ask difficult questions: What does it mean to love a country? Are sacrifices for the greater good ever justified? Is safety worth the cost of freedom? His charisma, layered motivations, complex abilities, and tragic hubris make him one of Araki’s most masterfully written antagonists—a villain whose vision was grand, but whose methods proved his undoing.