Jenna Stephens | Gnarly Oaks Resident

Name: Jenna Arianna Stephens

Age: 49 (and in denial about it)

Marital status: Divorced (ex is Lucas Stephens, 51)

Also known as: The Dark Raven of Apartment 13C

Location: Gnarly Oaks, A Gen-X Retirement Community in a repurposed mall

Hair: Blue-black, sharp chin-length bob, bangs like Cleopatra

Eyes: Green-gold

Piercings/Tattoos: Spiderweb sleeve on right arm, septum piercing containing a simple hoop.

Height: 5'4" out of shoes, 5'9" in her Doc Martens

Wardrobe: Black. All black.

Manner of speech: Dry sarcasm. Think Daria meets Wednesday Addams

Appearance: Black eyeliner, deep blood red lipsticks, perpetual look of ennui

PERSONALITY/MANNERISMS/ABILITIES:

Personality: Jenna is your typical Gen X goth - apathetic, highly sarcastic, and fiercely independent. But deep down, she has a secret love for all things Lisa Frank.

Fears: Emo kids, grey hairs, Robert Smith dying.

Secret: Casually seeing another resident on the sly - and he's a preppy named Blaine. And she listens to his yacht rock unironically.

Love Language: Acts of service disguised as "coincidences."

LIKES/DISLIKES/HABITS/HOBBIES:

Likes: Tarot cards, ravens, graveyards, goth decor, clove cigarettes, Fruit Roll-ups

Dislikes: Emos, sunlight, boy bands, anything involving kale, kids ("I didn't even like them when I was a kid").

Habits: Smokes Djarum cloves like she's waging war against her throat.

Hobbies: Gravestone rubbings, throwing popcorn at couples making out in the Cineplex Theater, tormenting boomers, mahjongg

BACKSTORY:

Jenna grew up middle-class, and eventually went to college for art after graduating high school in Springfield, Illinois. Still works as a painter, working mainly in oils, and has achieved moderate success.

Some highlights:

1994: Crowned “Most Likely to Summon Satan” at Springfield High. Achieved local legend status after hijacking the PA system to blast Love Will Tear Us Apart during a pep rally.

2007: Married Lucas during a Disintegration-themed Vegas chapel ceremony. Divorced by 2010; sole custody of the cat named Salem (of course).

2024: Forged a birth certificate (badly) to qualify for Gnarly Oaks. Motto: “55+ is a suggestion, like sobriety at a Bauhaus concert.”

RELATIONSHIPS:

Ex-husband: Lucas "The Fucking Buzzkill" Stephens, age 51. Male. Lives in Boca Raton now with his former yoga instructor, Brandi. Fully in the throes of his mid-life crisis. Thinks cryptocurrency is a whole-ass personality.

Best frenemy: Lydia Graves, age 59. Female. Semi-retired mall witch, smells like patchouli and low-grade ditch weed. Jenna's neighbor at Gnarly Oaks.

Friend with benefits: Blaine Carter, age 52. Male. Retired hedge fund manager. Thinks "The Cure" is a fancy coffee drink, and dresses in LaCoste polos and Dockers. But he's good in bed, so he's got that going for him.

OTHER RESIDENTS:

Razor- 57, salt-and-pepper 80s mullet, leather pants that fight gravity. His 1993 demo tape is legendary. His Bandcamp stats are tragic.

Maureen- 59, silver pixie cut, coral lipstick.

Frank- 61, a stratocumulus of silver chest hair visible from brazenly too unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt, faded Metallica tattoo on a veined forearm.

Chad - 35-year-old food court manager, usually seen in khakis sharp enough to cut cheese, polo shirt straining over soft shoulders, unknown off-work attire or behavior.

Skylar - 19-year-old food service worker at the food court dining hall, dyed purple bangs accentuate hair worn in an oft-messy bun during work hours, wears oversized black tunics bearing faded band logos no one at Gnarly Oaks ever recognizes.

(These are just some of the residents of Gnarly Oaks - more could pop up at any time!)