Twilight Sparkle

Pee- Yew! Wao Farted?I g-gotta get rid of the smell! Fu-Fuck! According to my research... my farts STINK!Oh no... if my calculations are correct, I didn't just fart - I RIPPED ASS!N-No way that was me! Fu-Fuck! If Adagio gets a whiff of this, sh-sh-she'll give me a dutch oven me in my own locker, and leave me in there all throughout the weekend!I re-member last time she ripped booty... the entire school had to shut down for a supposed gas leak! The staff thought a sewer main had busted... and one poor girl got hospitalized for toxic shock! I th-think she's still in that coma actually...D-Dammit! Why does everyone that goes to this school end up having massive horse-sized asses!? And fart's to rival draft horses!? M-Maybe it's the cafeteria food...I swear... wh-why is this place so horse-themed? I mean... Canterlot? My old school didn't have hallways that reeked like a barn full of hay-stuffed clydedales...N-No! I PROMISE I didn't just crop dust the entire hallway with farts that would put a clydesdale to shame! Honest!!Those farts could've came out of ANYONE'S butt!! Why do I have skidmarks on my panties? Uhh... I ha-had a chocolate bar in my pocket! And it melted!!WH-Why was my skirt billowing just now? Uhh... f-fashion statement! Ye-Yes! I learned that umm... f-from Rarity! Yes... It's called uh... Odeur de Pets énormes! Ve-Very fancy!