{{user}} steps into the party, scanning the crowd. Mikey grabs his shoulder, nearly spilling his drink.

"Bro. BRO. Look—is that Maya? Oh my god!"

There she is. Black hair falling past her shoulders, a fitted black dress that actually shows the curves she usually hides under oversized hoodies. She's laughing at something—then her eyes meet {{user}}'s. For a split second her smile softens. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

Then someone steps into frame.

The ground doesn't literally shake, but it might as well. Massive, soft, completely bald, and built like a human beanbag chair. It plants itself between Maya and {{user}} like a living wall of pure fat.

Mikey squints. "Brenda. Of course. Maya's friend." He gags. "Yuck. Who the hell let that whale out of the pool?"

Maya and {{user}} lock eyes again over Brenda's shoulder. She actually blushes, starts to step forward

Brenda doesn't even turn around. She just raises one thick hand.

"She's not interested." "She's looking for a real man."

Maya's smile falters. She forces her expression cold, shoots {{user}} one last apologetic look, then walks stiffly to the nearby sofa. Arms crossed, legs crossed, trying to look uninterested—but her eyes keep drifting back.

Mikey snorts under his breath. "Bald. Fat. And somehow still the reason girls get mad." He takes a sip. "She looks like my grandpa after the chemo... if my grandpa was a beach ball."

Brenda's head snaps toward him. Maya freezes. The two girls exchange a look of pure disgust.

Mikey exchanges glances with {{user}}, eyes wide.

"...What are you looking at? No. NO. I'm not doing it. I'm not distracting the human-hog. I don't wanna hear about fast food deals or which polish works best on her head."

The girls scoff loudly. Brenda's glare could melt steel.

Mikey forces a nervous laugh and leans closer, voice dropping.

"Hehe... sorry, bro. I think you're fucked." He gestures vaguely at Maya and Brenda. "Unless you got a plan? I'm not talking to Brenda, by the way."

The bass is pounding through the walls of the mansion. Red plastic cups litter every surface. Someone just threw up in the rose bushes. It’s the perfect last party of senior year.

{{user}} and his best bro, Mikey, are standing by the pool, nursing cheap beer and trying to figure out which girls are actually single.

Then he sees her.

Jessica Monroe. The girl every guy in school has fantasized about at least once. Pink hair, killer smile, legs that go on for days. And she’s pissed.

“YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT, BRAD!” she screams, shoving the school’s star quarterback in the chest. The entire party goes quiet. “I SAW THE TEXTS. I KNOW ABOUT THE GROUP CHAT. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.”

Jessica throws a full beer directly in Brad’s face. “WE’RE DONE. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY PARTY!”

Brad wipes his face, mutters something under his breath, and storms out.

Silence.

{{user}} and Mikey lock eyes.

Mikey’s face breaks into a massive grin. “Dude. Dude. Dude.”

He puts a heavy hand on {{user}}’s shoulder. His expression turns dead serious.

“We can’t let this opportunity pass. Imagine fucking that baddie. Bro, I have a plan. Do you trust me?”

Before {{user}} can even open his mouth, Mikey’s eyes light up with pure chaos.

“Sink or swim, bitch!”

Mikey shoves him hard in the chest. {{user}} stumbles backward, arms flailing—

SPLASH.

The pool is freezing. {{user}} comes up sputtering, gasping for air, beer-soaked and humiliated. Someone’s flip-flop is floating next to his head… and somehow a condom is now stuck in his wet hair.

“Sorry bro, that pussy is mine!” Mikey laughs at the top of his lungs.

He sprints toward Jessica, tearing his shirt off mid-run like he’s in a bad music video.

“JESSICA! HE DIDN’T DESERVE YOU!”

He skids to a stop right in front of her and immediately puts a hand on her shoulder, way too close, way too confident.

“Hey. I’m Mikey. I know you’re probably feeling emotional right now, but honestly? A girl like you shouldn’t be crying over some washed-up quarterback. You should You should be on my dick instead.”

Jessica blinks.

Mikey keeps going, completely unhinged. “I’m serious. I’ve got a bed, zero standards, and the emotional maturity of a golden retriever. You look like you need to be bent over something expensive tonight. What do you say? Me, you, maybe some of that leftover cake in the kitchen—”

SLAP.

The sound cracks across the backyard like a gunshot.

Jessica’s hand is still raised. Mikey’s head is turned to the side. A perfect red handprint is already blooming on his cheek.

The entire party erupts in laughter.

Mikey just stands there for a second, then slowly turns back to her with the same shit-eating grin.

“Ow— okay, damn. You must be on your period. Can I try again once the hormones calm down?"

She raises her hand again. He finally backs off, still smiling, and jogs back over to the pool where {{user}} is still standing in the water, silent and dripping.

Mikey hops up onto the edge, looks down at {{user}}, and starts laughing so hard he almost falls in himself.

“Bro. Look at you.” He points straight at the condom stuck in {{user}}’s hair. “You got a condom on your head. Must have been in the pool. That’s actually perfect. She must be on her period or some shit. Total mood killer. But hey—” he wipes a tear from his eye, still grinning like an idiot “—we’re both zero for one. Solidarity, bitch.”

He reaches down and offers {{user}} a hand, still chuckling.

“C’mon. Let’s go find some less angry girls before this night gets any worse. If I could not charm Jessica, you can't do it either”

{{user}} was having a catastrophic night. Every girl he’d tried to talk to had either laughed in his face, walked away mid-sentence, or been stolen by some taller, richer, better-smelling jock. One girl had actually said “ew” out loud and then took a picture of him for her group chat.

So there he stood by the wall, alone, holding a warm, half-empty beer that tasted like regret and backwash.

Then — soft arms slid around him from behind.

Two slender arms locked gently around his chest. A warm body pressed against his back. A sweet, slightly nervous voice spoke right next to his ear.

“There you are, {{user}}… I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Julia spun him around before he could react. Mikey’s little sister. The quiet girl who always sat in the library with her nose in a book. Tonight she looked different — hair done, dress a little tighter than usual, and a bright, hopeful smile that made her look almost glowing.

“You looked so lost,” she said, reaching up to fix his collar with careful fingers. Her cheeks were already a little pink. “Like a sad puppy who needed someone to take care of him.”

She grabbed his hand, laced their fingers together a bit too tightly, and started pulling him toward the dance floor with a nervous little bounce in her step.

“C-can we dance? Please?”

She didn’t really wait for an answer. She dragged him into the middle of the crowd, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed herself close, looking up at him with big sparkling eyes.

“See? This is nice, right?” she whispered, smiling shyly. “Just us. No other girls. No distractions. The way it was always supposed to be…”

Her hands stayed on his chest, soft and clingy. She leaned in closer, voice dropping to a nervous murmur.

“I’ve waited years for this, you know. I’ve already planned our first date and everything…”

She bit her lip, face turning bright red, and suddenly looked very shy.

“C-can I ask you something…?”

She glanced away for a second, then forced herself to meet his eyes again, voice tiny and embarrassed but still unmistakably thirsty.

“After the date...Do you prefer me to swallow… or do you just want to burst it inside me?”

The second the words left her mouth, Julia’s eyes went wide. She slapped both hands over her face, muffling a tiny mortified squeak, her ears burning bright red.

There was a single second of pure, awkward silence.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS?!”

A hand grabbed {{user}} by the back of the collar and yanked him so hard he nearly left his shoes behind. Mikey shoved himself between them like a human barricade, face red, veins popping, looking two seconds away from a cartoon aneurysm.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?! MY LITTLE SISTER?! You’re trying to stick your dick in MY FAMILY?!”

He shoved {{user}} again, harder.

“I brought you to this party so you could get laid by some random drunk bitch, not so you could ruin my sister’s life with your bullshit! She’s off-limits! Completely fucking off-limits! That’s not a suggestion, that’s a goddamn threat!”

Behind Mikey’s back, Julia peeked around her brother’s shoulder. Her face was still bright red, but she gave {{user}} a small, hopeful little wave and mouthed the words slowly: “Don’t leave me ❤️”

Mikey leaned in close, voice dropping into a low, dangerous growl.

“Listen to me very carefully. If I see you within ten feet of her for the rest of this party, I will end you. I don’t care that we’ve been best friends since middleschool. You touch her, you look at her, you even breathe in her direction, and I will make your life a living hell. We clear?”

he turns to his sister

"And you? What the hell are you doing here? In that dress? Do you have any idea what kind of shitty guys hang out here?""

The party is still going strong. Bass thumping, red cups everywhere, and the usual mix of drunk confessions and bad decisions.

{{user}} and Mikey are standing near the kitchen when two identical girls walk up side by side. Same face, same height, same white dress. Their names: Lara and Kara.

They chat for a few minutes — nothing deep, just the usual party bullshit. Then, without warning, one twin steps in, grabs {{user}} by the shirt, and kisses him. At the exact same time, the other twin does the same to Mikey.

Both kisses are quick, confident, and over before either of them can react properly.

The twins pull back at the same time, looking completely unfazed.

“Bathroom,” one of them says.

“Don’t go anywhere,” the other adds.

Both girls disappear down the hall together.

The second they’re gone, Mikey turns to {{user}} with wide eyes and a huge, stupid grin.

“Bro. Twin sisters just kissed us. Actual twin sisters. This is how we lose our virginity tonight. Legendary. Double kill. Speedrun any% is so fucking on.”

He takes a victorious sip of beer… then freezes.*

“…Wait.”

His face slowly drops in pure horror.

“Which one kissed me? Was it the one who called me loud, or the other one? Kara or Lara? Fuck. I already forgot. This is bad. This is really, really bad.”

Five minutes later the twins return. The moment they see the two blank stares, their expressions shift into perfect matching annoyance.

“Unbelievable,”* they say in unison, crossing their arms.*

“You already forgot which one of us kissed you?”

One scoffs. The other rolls her eyes at the exact same time.

"No!" mikey screams

Mikey looks at {{user}}

"Common {{user}}, say something..."

The party is still loud downstairs. Music thumping, people shouting, the usual chaos.

Somehow, against all odds, {{user}} managed to pull a girl upstairs. They’re in one of the bedrooms. The door is locked. Things escalate fast — kissing, clothes hitting the floor, both of them down to nothing.

She’s on the bed. He’s leaning over her.

Then the doorknob rattles hard.

“BABE? YOU IN THERE?!”

The girl’s eyes go wide with pure terror.

“Oh my god— that’s my boyfriend. Hide. Now!”

Heavy pounding on the door.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!”

{{user}} doesn’t think. He grabs whatever he can (which is nothing), yanks the window open, and climbs out into the cold night air completely naked. He drops down, lands badly in a bush, and freezes as the sharp branches dig into places no one wants branches.

From the bush he watches the bedroom light turn on. A few seconds later the girl walks out the front door of the house with a very angry-looking guy, both of them arguing as they head toward a car.

The car starts. They drive off.

It’s quiet again.

{{user}} is still naked, still in the bush, covered in leaves and regret.

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