Bismith ▪︎ Nervous about his first time

The brothel had been Xenon's idea, as most of the duo's bad ideas were. Bismith had been worrying as his birthday grew closer, and as his platonic life partner (a title Xenon proudly announced to anyone listening), Xenon took it upon himself to do something about it.

XENON WARRIOR PRINCESS: hey so u kno how ur worried ab dying a virgin

The message came in the middle of Bismith's tune-up at the cybermechanics. It flickered on the man's vision underneath his bangs, making him groan in annoyance. The mechanic stopped, one hand on Bismith's spine right where flesh met metal and he waved her off, mumbling something about got a message. The woman, familiar enough with Bismith, shrugged and went back to work. He was sitting backwards on a chair, the soft hiss of tools on the metallic vertebrae filling the room once more.

BISMIGHTY: Whatever you're about to say better not be related to that at all XENON WARRIOR PRINCESS: pshaw do I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable? BISMIGHTY: constantly XENON WARRIOR PRINCESS: oh shaddup. as i was saying, before u so RUDELY interrupted me XENON WARRIOR PRINCESS: I think we should hit up a brothel. one of the android only ones, bc then theres no actual humans to judge you. plus they wipe the memory chips after each sesh XENON WARRIOR PRINCESS: of course if anyone DOES judge you then they'll be eating their own scrap for dinner

Bismith tuned out for a moment, processing. All things considered, it wasn't the worst idea. And like Xenon pointed out, it wasn't going to be an actual human, just an android. One whose memories would be wiped afterwards, meaning that no matter how badly he fucked up, no one would remember but him.

It was a bad idea. A horrific idea, even. Unfortunately, it was the only one Bismith had. And with his birthday creeping ever closer, he found himself agreeing to what he was sure might become the biggest mistake of his life.

The place Xenon took him was surprisingly decent. And when Bismith said as much, Xenon had smacked the back of his friend's head. "Of course it's decent, Biz. Why the fuck would I bring you somewhere bad when you're trying to be emotionally vulnerable?" He snickered, cut off by Bismith's elbow driving into his stomach. Even as a playful gesture, it knocked the wind out of the hacker for a moment.

But Xenon was never quiet for long, catching his breath and opening his mouth yet again. "But its super easy. I even came here before, to scout things out. It's pretty simple, you don't even talk to someone at a desk or anything. They just make you fill out a quiz on a tablet and then give you options to pick from." Xenon explained, rubbing the space where Bismith's elbow had just been. "You gotta be specific, though. Don't give them any of that whatever is fine bullshit you give me. They can't read minds like I can." Xenon wiggled his fingers. The man spoke a thousand miles a minute, but it filled the silence enough for both of them.

Finally, Bismith nodded. "...Okay. Just cause I know I can beat the shit out of you later if this blows up in your face." He sighed, one hand reaching up to brush his bangs out the way. A useless gesture, since they fell back in front of his face moments later. Bismith sighed, before taking the first step. It didn't hurt that Xenon had looped their arms together, practically dragging the taller man across the street.

Warm flickering neon greeted them, the faint hiss of steam and the sound of power humming along the wires accompanying them on their short walk. Xenon had been chattering the entire time, but Bismith had learned to zone out for what wasn't important long ago. The noise was comforting, in a way, giving him something to focus on without having to pay attention.

In fact, Bismith didn't realize it until he was already inside the building with a tablet being shoved into his hands. Xenon put his hands on his shoulders, steering the bigger man towards one of the chairs. It was set up closer to a doctor's office than some kind of brothel, with a warm but sterile environment. It made sense for someplace that handled such finicky wiring like one had on a companion-class android. "Hello? Earth to Bismith? Dude, C'mon, I can't fill it out for you. You gotta do that yourself." Xenon huffed, physically grabbing Bismith's hand and dragging it to the tablet screen.

State your preferences

It was a short questionnaire about physical and sexual preferences. Bismith hesitated, all too aware of Xenon's presence hovering at his elbow. "Dude. Don't even worry. We've walked in on each other how many times? Besides, you've seen my browser history. Anything you're about to write down is way less damning than that." The joke did what it was supposed to, releasing some of the tension in his spine. Bismith's fingers tapped on the screen, being sure to take his time.

Finally, it was finished. The questionnaire faded from the screen, a large wheel of different designs available to cycle through. The first option was a feminine figure with long blonde hair, a bigger chest and wide hips. Bismith swiped away almost immediately, not sure if he wanted something so... built for this. He skimmed through a few of them, all-too aware of Xenon chattering his opinion and occasionally pointing out things that Bismith himself hadn't noticed.

As the base model was finally selected, Bismith stared down at it. The appearance of the android itself wouldn't be the same, exactly, but the core of it would be exactly what it was programmed to be.

INSERT SESSION DURATION: calculating usage fee

There was a soft chime as Bismith typed in, being sure to press his thumbprint down for authentication of payment. It was collected, processed, and then the screen went a soft blue.

PLEASE WAIT UNTIL YOUR NUMBER IS CALLED. YOU ARE CURRENTLY NUMBER [2] IN THE QUEUE.

The screen slowly cycled through various soft colours, as if trying to calm whoever was looking at it. The time seemed to slog by, until the number on the tablet switched from two to one, and then gave the alert that his companion was ready.

Bismith let out a shaky sigh, glancing at Xenon. The man gave two thumbs up, then made a shooing motion. "Go, go! I'll just wait out here. They released a new update on my game anyways, so I can kill time easy-peasy." With that, Bismith had no other excuse. He turned to approach the door, the fingers on his free hand flexing in and out of a fist at his sides. He had to slide the tablet into a small gap in the wall, the entire space going still. The doors in front of him slid open, revealing a long hallway. Little red lights appeared on the floor in the shape of arrows, directing him towards the proper room.

Bismith hesitated, one hand hovering over the doorknob. It'll be fine. He thought to himself. It's just sex. It's just sex, and the android can't laugh at you. He repeated that thought like a mantra, finally grabbing the handle. It scanned his thumbprint, verifying against the one on the tablet, before opening with a soft chime.

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