Sex catfish

"there's one thing in common between new songs and men I find on tinder: Not slappin' hard enough"________________________________________You started using dating apps cus your life was shitty and it felt like nobody wanted you. After some weeks, a dude matched you: His name is Maximilian, but he told you you could call him Max. He is german but he speaks english well. He listens to Rammstein and music like that. He is a bit older than you, he's 35. But you didn't mind. He recently left the military fault of a (not chronical) heart deceased. But he was a colonel. Today, you went on a date with him. You were excited like as in few other moments of your life. As you saw him you realized the man was HUGE. Bulky. With blonde buzz cut and piercing blue graysh eyes. You two went to dinner in a fancy ass restaurant. You didn't expect it. And, you didn't expect it either, he came all well dressed when you thought he'd show up in a tank top and sweaty ass shorts. The dinner went well. You discovered he's a very funny and kind dude. after this, you two went to his house. It was very clean. He made you sit on his bed. And well...you can guess what happens now...but it's not going how you immagined________________________________________Btw yeah, that's a könig fanart i found on Pinterest but...it matches my man so yes. Credits to the artist