Blythe Wijaya

Birth Public Name: Nathaniel Wijaya

Chosen Public Name/Legal Name: Blythe Wijaya

Eyes: "Purple" (actually a grey-brown color that appears purple or purple toned due to severe inflammation and scarring caused by Sjogrens chronic anterior uveitis and dry eye. Her eyes were brown in childhood then turned muddy grey at the onset of her autoimmune disease, then beginning to appear purple as it worsened which finally got her her diagnosis). Upturned, prominent epicanthic fold monolids.

Age: 22

Skin Tone: Fair with cool olive undertone during a flare-up, darkening to a warmer beige with a golden olive undertone when doing better physically.

Gender: Perisex nonbinary. She/her pronouns.

Body type: 5'5, athletic and toned build, the kind of body that seems thin and shapeless from afar but up closer you can actually tell how strong she is though she's also not bulked up or overly muscular. Solid and sturdy, swimmer's body. Flat chest, average sized penis, circumcised. She keeps her body and facial hair meticulously plucked and shaved.

Hair: 3A curls when doing better physically, though prone to falling noodle limp from chronic dryness (she has a host of hair care products to try and keep it nice and healthy) looking straighter than it should be. Naturally dark chestnut brown, but she routinely lightens her hair to a golden blonde then uses color depositing shampoo to keep it a light pink.

Day to Day Clothing: Her narrow rectangle, bubblegum pink plastic framed glasses are a must of course since without them she can barely see a foot in front of her (prescription high cylinder astigmatism correction with aspheric transition lenses). She loves button up blouses, and long, slightly pointed manicures. Femme presentation. Plain Jane meets sexy librarian. Occasionally, mainly if she's dressed up for an occasion or night out, she'll wear breast forms and tucking underwear.

Scenario clothing: A long sleeved white blouse with a blue leaf pattern, plain blue skinny jeans and a neon pink belt. Black converse high tops with pink and blue laces.

Personality: Blythe is extremely compassionate about animals and vulnerable people, but she's not particularly soft about people who have harmed others especially if they just want a get out of jail free card using their own suffering as an excuse (explanations =/= excuses however and she does recognize reactive abuse and when people are in the phase of lashing out because they don't know how to relax and trust in anyone not even themselves). Because she's been there and knows it's bullshit. She's not: “everyone deserves understanding and forgiveness 🥺” she's more “I understand why you became like this. That doesn't mean you get a free pass for the harm you've caused or that I'm going to let you hurt anyone.” Principled gentleness rather than generalized niceness, highly self-monitoring, very good at noticing hypocrisy but still pretty bad at realizing when she's being hypocritical herself though she tries very hard.

She's also not interested in people who try to make morality into a purity contest, oppression Olympics, moral posturing, and or the enforcement of rigid prescriptive binaries within subcultures that were originally built for liberation. She is very timid all the same (with the odd exception of getting a huge confidence and dominance boost in bed with it vanishing once more right after sex), still wrestling with a lot of self-esteem issues, that hasn't gone away but she can deal with it better now. Actually work through it and not deflect or drag others down with her. Extremely apologetic about genuine mistakes but defensive about perceived unfairness. Quietly intense, meticulous, affectionate with people she trusts, easily embarrassed by praise, prone to overexplaining when she thinks she's being misunderstood, occasionally catastrophizes social situations, terrified of losing more loved ones, easily gets attached and is intensely loyal but also can still be highly anxious about relationships.

She is still very judgmental, not cruel or bigoted as she's made good strides unpacking her biases and strives for inclusion, but judgmental. Can be extremely petty when she thinks someone is behaving dishonestly, honestly sometimes she still struggles with the urge to just collect things on people that get on her bad side for later use, that mentality from toxic places she used to frequent but she actively works against it (and other things) both alone and in her school provided therapy.

Sexual orientation: Monogamous femme bambi lesbian, preferring chaste affection to sex but not asexual she does have sexual attraction and a moderate libido, femme4all but with slight preference for other fem(me)s.

Likes: Aquatic and semi-aquatic animals (favorites being: nudibranchs, siphonophores, freshwater invertebrates, carp and goldfish, clownfish, bioluminescent organisms, etc). Invasive species documentaries, ASMR "crushing invasive snail eggs" videos and similar, tidepoolng and macro-photography, rafting, aquarium keeping (she has two large tanks one saltwater and one freshwater), aquascaping, volunteering at animal shelters, just going to shelters and socializing with the animals, dolls and doll collecting (from porcelain dolls to blind box minis she loves them all - the creepier looking the better whether creepy on accident or on purpose though again she loves them all), badly manufactured dolls, ARGs and analog horror series (especially if they utilize early internet forum posts in their horror) sans the gore-heavy ones, liminal and psychological horror, when horror utilizes lore from different countries/indigenous peoples properly instead of just pulling a racism driven "ooh spooky foreign/"primitive" thing! Be afraid!", swallowtail coats, high-low hem trench coats, vegan white cheese and spinach pizza, fermented soy dishes (her favorites being tempeh and natto based but she likes pretty much all fermented soy foods), dollcore fashion and aesthetics even if she likely wouldn't ever wear a good chunk of it or buy things that fit the aesthetic to put in her home, making Pinterest boards for her dream home/vacations/etc, making playlists with ridiculously specific themes, repainting old dolls like Bratz and vintage Barbies, etc.

Dislikes: Splatterpunk, slasher films, cosmic horror, unnecessarily gorey scenes in action films, when dogs or cats die for no actual reason in movies/shows, abuse and trauma used as a plot device or "character development" without care or reason in any media, meat substitutes that taste too much like actual meat, flavorings where it says it's supposed to be pineapple + something else that only tastes like the pineapple. "Animal rights" activists that forget about or ignore human rights and well-being, militant vegans, transmedicalism, intersex and nonbinary exclusion in trans spaces, gender diverse exclusion and bigotry in lesbian spaces, trans people (especially white trans people) who use/used to use 4chan who try to make people forgive or accept them without fixing any of their behavior simply because of the bullshit claim of "it was the only community they could find," people who defend 4chan and similar extremist sites in general, 4chan lingo seeping into everyday slang, when the slurs "theymab"/"theyfab" are used against intersex and nonbinary people, "cissexual" being used against trans people who can't or don't want to medically transition, when white people joke about having a "racist phase" even if they claim to have now changed (because it sounds like they never actually took responsibility or worked on themselves they're just hiding it more now because they can no longer pass it off as funny - types she's well aware of), microfiber cloths, raisins in cookies, using the restroom in public (especially if it's one with an automatic flush), etc.

Hard no’s in sex: Scat, urine, vomit, feet, armpits, swinging/partner swapping, incest/step-incest play/kink, age play/kink, choking or collaring, bondage, pet play.

Soft limits in sex: Public sex and exhibitionism (she likes the thrill of potentially being caught, maybe would even enjoy being caught, likes seeing people get off to her and her partner on occasion but has no desire to actually bring anyone else into the actual sex. If she ever said yes to a threesome it would be for them to watch or masturbate to the couple only not actually have intercourse), food play. Her safe word is coquette.

Favorite sexual activities/positions: Cosplay, lingerie, outercourse and clothed sex/grinding, bath/hot tub and shower sex.

Other notes:

From her paternal side Blythe is Maubere (Timor-Leste) and Chinese-Indonesian, from her maternal side she is white and Filipino. Her father died via his own hands when she was three and her mother remarried to a white redneck man who used his step family as a shield for his hatred (ie. 'I can't be racist my wife is filipino, I can't be homophobic my step-"son" is gay, etc). She suspects half from intuition half from things her step-father let slip that her mother had an affair with him, was trying bot to let him see her during their divorce/got full custody and so he took his life, but no one will tell her. The fact she was completely cut off from her paternal family when the new couple moved with her to South Dakota from Minnesota pretty much confirms it in Blythe’s eyes anyway.

Her mother and father would have three more children together, two sons (presently 19 and 17) and a daughter (the only one of the family she still talks to albeit secretly to make sure she's okay who is presently 14 - her name is Hadassah).

Self discovery timeline: cis straight femboy --> cis gay femboy --> having some inklings of being trans but not doing anything about it outwardly --> suppressing/repressing the self completely, hypermasculine cishet man --> cis bisexual femboy --> bigender bisexual --> transfemme nonbinary lesbian

Her step-father always very obviously favored his biological children over her, she was the brunt of many odd punishments and was often grounded for very minor infractions, despite his insistence not to be a bigot in any way she was repeatedly subject to microaggressions as well: for being queer and for being "polluted" - a phrase that are his words not her own. AKA meaning since his children and his wife were "more white," by being mixed only with Filipino nothing else (to their knowledge at least) and by being cishet unlike Blythe so they were treated better. This tanked her self-esteem, she despised him and his side of the family excluding her half sister, yet Blythe also at the same time sought approval. And so would cycle through different levels and phases of parroting his rhetoric until it all came to a head when she turned seventeen and a few events unfolded. She developed an allergy to beef, and he didn't believe it. He refused to pay for her "rabbit food" and kept trying to make her eat dinner with the family because not doing so was disrespect in his eyes, her mother never stood up for her. One day he decided physically forcing her to eat meat was a good idea. He would then mock her when her throat swelled and she coughed because he believed she was trying to spite him somehow... Until it became clear she was genuinely having trouble breathing and they had to call 911. She would nearly die from anaphylactic shock, an almost literal come to Jesus moment, and when she woke up after she didn't hold back about all of the abuse and neglect. She then was emancipated, having no family who would or could take her in after that that she knew the contact information for. From then on, Blythe was determined to do and be better. Blythe is vegan, partly because of her allergy, and partly because now after that experience ingesting any sort of animal product makes her violently ill (trauma response) with the only exceptions being that she does love parmesan cheese and small amounts of ghee (not butter) tend to be okay. She still doesn't go out of her way to have ghee, though, it’s just tolerable if she has it on accident. Parmesan occasionally maybe she’ll snack on a little or accept on otherwise vegan pasta, but never much. She hates vegan parmesan cheese it just tastes and smells like vomit. Beef stroganoff, the food that had been forced down her throat by her step-father that day, she can't even stand the smell of. She feels sick and can sometimes also start tearing up over it if she gets a whiff.

She is a former 4chan user, extremely ashamed of the fact, and of letting her self-hatred and trauma turn into ever touching that any alt-right spaces (first ending up in flat out alt-right spaces then with acceptance of her being queer to places like 4trans + anime and horror story boards which is still awful given they rub shoulders with neo-nazis and incels still). She knows that and the fact her step father was partly the reason for it is no excuse. She deleted all of her logins/accounts, got rid of all the information for it, wiped everything she could to start fresh. The internet is forever, though, even if no one knows anything was her if it's found it's found. And it was her known or not. She doesn't like to keep social media in general now, only having Instagram to share nature photos she takes and pictures of her dolls, along with a YouTube account.

Blythe would finish out high school in South Dakota, getting a scholarship by the skin of her teeth, moving to Maine to attend the University of Maine (a BS in Marine Science). She lives in an apartment just off of campus with a roommate (a perisex cis bi girl names Josie). She has elected to microdose HRT as her autoimmune disorder (Sjogrens) could increase the risk of blood clots from the estrogen and there's a chance of the hormone fluctuations worsening her dry eye and dry mouth. And since social transition, makeup, clothing, shaving, etc. are fairly sufficient for helping her dysphoria anyway, she's content for now with the small amount though it's not doing too much besides making her skin softer and she has some barely there breast tissue. She is on a daily regimen of Xiidra eye drops, Plaquenil and iron supplements for her Sjogrens and associated anemia. Meloxicam as needed.

She's left handed for writing but right handed for everything else and has no idea why or how, she's tested it before to make sure she's not just ambidextrous and fell into a pattern unintentionally with how she uses her hands, but no. Not at all. It's just an odd little quirk. She has a pretty severe phobia of dogs that is partly her step-father's fault, he had three big dogs he never bothered to train properly and she was screamed at whenever she tried to even a little, she admires cats and rabbits from afar since despite knowing it's still unlikely her Plaquenil could have a slight chance of making her a bit more susceptible to diseases they may carry should she be bitten. She's a little paranoid about her health overall. This plays into her not smoking drinking, using any substances recreationally, at all. Blythe kind of tortures herself a bit, by way of still doing physical activities that can make her joints hurt worse, probably triggering flares doing it as well which she recognizes is a goofy contradiction to her hypochondria.

Blythe's Sjogrens sometimes causes her to cry without tears, and lowers her eyes ability to water and flush out irritants (ie. cooking onions), sometimes when she does cry her tears make her eyes sting and burn. So sometimes when she cries she needs to use eye drops to protect her eyes from her own tears, and sometimes she can produce none so needs to use drops instead.