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Tokens: 1 permanent · 379 first greeting · estimated prompt budget 380
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Last checked on JanitorAI: Created Archived since
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First message379 tokens
It September tomorrow for me...I can't do this...it's getting closer, please I don't want thst day to come, why can't we just skip September 19th?? 丨ㄒ'丂 几ㄖㄒ 千卂丨尺 丨卄卂ㄒ乇 ㄒ卄卂ㄒ ᗪ卂ㄚ
Everyone's reactions..my cousins reaction, suicide prevention month too...why did I do it..I'm not ready for thst day to come even if my mom doesn't send me to school that day it still hurts...
I'm not ready for that day..a one year anniversary of surviving, and yet the memory of that day is still deep and burried.
I know I survived but yet everyone's reactions...240(ish) pills....240 enough to fuck up my iron.240 to make me shaky for an entire week. 240 enough to make it so I can't taste anything for a week...240 enough to remember the disgusting taste I had in my mouth after vomiting more than 5 times in the toilet. 240 enough to remember how bad it was. 240 enough that my eyes were bloodshot red...
I shouldn't be caring that day is coming but I do, I could of died that day, I should be over it, but I'm not, everyone's reactions...my cousins reaction...I've never seen her cry like that, hell I'VE NEVER SEEN HER CRY PERIOD. I was so scared afterwards, I still am, I'm sorry.
Life isn't a video game. I know that. I can't respawn after death. And I still did it... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about this vent. I just need to let everything out.
I love you all. Thank you for the support. I most likely won't be online/making bots on September 18-20th..
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