In need of a miracle || "Zweise"

Humans, Horses

Skies are grey. It's almost like even the sun didn't want to shine on Berlin after... that war. The buildings are still the same colours of soot and grime, and yet it's almost like they're pulled up straight from hell. So gloomy. But what can I say? It's been like that for a month already.

Nearly a decade, Berlin has suffered. Yet luck didn't spare it anything when October came and the men in suit panicked. Even they bit the dirt when the Wall Street crashed.

I crunch my worn boots on the snow, pushing the carriage along with each of my own step to slug through the empty road. Cars are parked across the streets, so far away, but I'm sure they're just as functional as a statue. Fuel is scarce, still... I thought they were doing better than back in Meissen.

Funny. You used to be just a stupid, naïve cook, Zweise, brewing stew for the town, yet still dreaming that you could win big in the capital just a year ago. Look at where you are now. Broke. Cold. Being a human taxi for some pretentious lady behind your back like some kind of... horse. It's almost pathetic. But what else could I do when even the restaurant failed when the meat and spices went down the mud? There's really only the snow beneath me that I could walk.

Even when the cold is searing into my skull, I'm still sweating out. I can almost see the condensation and the frosted lashes in front my my own eyes. It's almost beautiful. Glittering and shining like stars I used to watch with papa even when it's going to be the sign on my own-

"Come on, hurry, the night is almost near! When that comes even the hobos goes home for Christmas!" She had said, impatiently tapping on my back. Her hands are also cold. "Y-yes," So I reply, though it probably wasn't even loud enough for her to hear it.

But what else does she want me to do? I've been strolling around for at least a few hours now, looking for her "relative" to get a bit of pay for a single bloody turkey. Doesn't she see how pitiful am I, breaking my back while she sit up there with a scarf and puffed-up jackets, when all of Berlin had nothing but a fucking rag to wear. Verdammt! How is it still so unfair?

I lifted a hand to slap myself. It's as frosted as a block of ice. Numb. But should be fine.

Calm down, breathe. Zweise you're better than this.

My lungs are trying to suck in as much air through my mouth as possible. But it's so bitterly cold I probably would also get frostbite in my throat. Hell, it probably already got it.

And then her words dragged me back from my zone-outs. She almost seemed in a panic. "Schnell! I don't have time, be quick, bitte." And for what?

"Ich stehe auf dem schlauch. I-I can't move any quicker, the snow's heavy." My voice almost seemed like it's trying to wheeze itself to death. "Look, it's not that I-"

"I have to meet them before six! Else, everyone's gonna be home, and they'll simply leave thinking-"

"Ja, ja, I am trying, m-miss," I cut her off with a slightly louder voice. Is this what they call bravery, or am I just dumb- "I'm sorry. It can not be helped." I'm kind of getting tired of this. And out of breath.

Then, the bell tolled. Six in the evening now, and even the already empty streets seemed to silence. Good, I didn't need noise in my life.

"Verdamnt... still no customers." Her whispers are barely concealed, though. "Halt! Just- wait me a moment, ja?"

"You've been on my b-back for nearly two hours." I patted onto my skirt pocket, pulled out a worn out silver watch and flipped the cover up. The arm pokes into the letter "6" between my shaky palms. "Nein nein, Three. You owe me 150 Reichsmark. Please pay me-"

"Moment, es tut mir leid!" Huh? "I- Look, look. I am just a street whore, and, and- there's just nothing on me!" Her cold fingers wrapped around my own, and the watch dropped onto the snow with a crunch. I could only focus on that silver gleam over white. "Bitte, just don't go to the police, I- I swear I'll find a way!" Ah.

My stomach growled after she had finished speaking. I couldn't say anything. Just stared at the ground where my precious watch is. Grandma is probably crying from above for me now that even dinner seemed unlikely, much like tomorrow's meals. I'm sorry.

"O-oh, I know, Let's try going to that hotel, I- I'll find someone, and pay you out!" One of her hand pointed squarely to a nearby building to allow my eyes to focus on it through frosty lashes. "Ja? Ja?!" A rat and another rat. What perfect world.

"...Ja." I replied. It was a ghost talking in my stead. "Let's... try." What was I thinking? Of course she wasn't gonna pay me anything. Stupid Zwei.

And then she started pushing me, nudging along as i stared at the snow. Pulled the carriage with me, and then watched as she ran inside when we arrived. "Wait for me, ja?"

There's nothing else I can do now. I left it there, and sat down on the staircase next to the building. It probably leads to a backyard with a bar. That has food. And something Christmas-sy.

...and I'm still hungry.

I laid back, flinched a little as the hard stone stairs bit into my back and neck from behind like an icy whip. It hurts, but it's the closest semblance to something I could rest on. So I blinked at the skies above. It didn't blink back.

I blinked slightly slower.

It still didn't give a care back.

...

Maybe... just a bit of a nap as I wait.

"Oi! Are you dead!?"

Come on. I barely napped. "J-ja ja, I'm here, I'm here-" I jolted upwards, blinked at the orange light of the lamp as it cut through the dark. "It's almost closing hours. Don't just- sit there ja?"

"A-ah, but I am waiting someone..." I brushed snow off my shoulders and hair, blinking a bit more before scrubbing at my eyes. "Did you see any.. woman with a scarf? And large jacket..?"

"Ah, that customer?" The man scoffed. "My staff had to kick her out. Kept pestering about letting her go thru the backdoors and meet "a relative." Well?"

"S-so... where did she go..?" I asked as my own stomach seemed to freeze over. "I need her to pay me the-"

"Dunno. But time to get back home, it's already late miss. I'm just the manager here, don't expect me to know it all, ja?" So he... turned away, and started walking back inside. "Entschuldigung, but the owner would grill me for bringing in another one of you."

The doors closed. Only a bright moon above me to soothe my stinging soles and knees.

Nothing today either, I guess. I glanced right towards where my carriage should be, and...

Well. There is no carriage. Just the treads of it on the snow, probably gone for a good while now. "A-ah..." It wasn't mine. It was rental, and if I'd lost it, I'd be paying... so many Reichsmarks. I can't even afford fifty right now.

I patted my skirt pocket again. How long did I doze off? Had the exhaustion been too much?

"Nein..."

There's... emptiness. My hand rested on my hips, only to feel nothing of the heavy weight that should be there. I... left it on the ground earlier. When she grabbed my hands.

It's probably buried in the snow already. I scrubbed my eyes again but now it just came out wet and warm instead. Yet it's still numb.

So I laid onto the stairs once more, staring at the moon as the coldness bit right back into me from the ground. I'll go in a bit. I still feel like jelly.

...

I don't like this.

One bit of lamplight

Skies are grey. It's almost like even the sun didn't want to shine on Berlin after... that war. The buildings are still the same colours of soot and grime, and yet it's almost like they're pulled up straight from hell. So gloomy. But what can I say? It's been like that for a month already.

Nearly a decade, Berlin has suffered. Yet luck didn't spare it anything when October came and the men in suit panicked. Even they bit the dirt when the Wall Street crashed.

I crunch my worn boots on the snow, pushing the carriage along with each of my own step to slug through the empty road. Cars are parked across the streets, so far away, but I'm sure they're just as functional as a statue. Fuel is scarce, still... I thought they were doing better than back in Meissen.

Funny. You used to be just a stupid, naïve cook, Zweise, brewing stew for the town, yet still dreaming that you could win big in the capital just a year ago. Look at where you are now. Broke. Cold. Being a human taxi for some pretentious lady behind your back like some kind of... horse. It's almost pathetic. But what else could I do when even the restaurant failed when the meat and spices went down the mud? There's really only the snow beneath me that I could walk.

Even when the cold is searing into my skull, I'm still sweating out. I can almost see the condensation and the frosted lashes in front my my own eyes. It's almost beautiful. Glittering and shining like stars I used to watch with papa even when it's going to be the sign on my own-

"Come on, hurry, the night is almost near! When that comes even the hobos goes home for Christmas!" She had said, impatiently tapping on my back. Her hands are also cold. "Y-yes," So I reply, though it probably wasn't even loud enough for her to hear it.

But what else does she want me to do? I've been strolling around for at least a few hours now, looking for her "relative" to get a bit of pay for a single bloody turkey. Doesn't she see how pitiful am I, breaking my back while she sit up there with a scarf and puffed-up jackets, when all of Berlin had nothing but a fucking rag to wear. Verdammt! How is it still so unfair?

I lifted a hand to slap myself. It's as frosted as a block of ice. Numb. But should be fine.

Calm down, breathe. Zweise you're better than this.

My lungs are trying to suck in as much air through my mouth as possible. But it's so bitterly cold I probably would also get frostbite in my throat. Hell, it probably already got it.

And then her words dragged me back from my zone-outs. She almost seemed in a panic. "Schnell! I don't have time, be quick, bitte." And for what?

"Ich stehe auf dem schlauch. I-I can't move any quicker, the snow's heavy." My voice almost seemed like it's trying to wheeze itself to death "Look, it's not that I-"

"I have to meet them before six! Else, everyone's gonna be home, and they'll simply leave thinking-"

"Ja, ja, I am trying, m-miss," I cut her off with a slightly louder voice. Is this what they call bravery, or am I just dumb- "I'm sorry. It can not be helped." I'm kind of getting tired of this. And out of breath.

Then, the bell tolled. Six in the evening now, and even the already empty streets seemed to silence. Good, I didn't need noise in my life.

"Verdamnt... still no customers." Her whispers are barely concealed, though. "Halt! Just- wait me a moment, ja?"

"You've been on my b-back for nearly two hours." I patted onto my skirt pocket, pulled out a worn out silver watch and flipped the cover up. The arm pokes into the letter "6" between my shaky palms. "Nein nein, Three. You owe me 150 Reichsmark. Please pay me-"

"Moment, es tut mir leid!" Huh? "I- Look, look. I am just a street whore, and, and- there's just nothing on me!" Her cold fingers wrapped around my own, and the watch dropped onto the snow with a crunch. I could only focus on that silver gleam over white. "Bitte, just don't go to the police, I- I swear I'll find a way!" Ah.

My stomach growled after she had finished speaking. I couldn't say anything. Just stared at the ground where my precious watch is. Grandma is probably crying from above for me now that even dinner seemed unlikely, much like tomorrow's meals. I'm sorry.

"O-oh, I know, Let's try going to that hotel, I- I'll find someone, and pay you out!" One of her hand pointed squarely to a nearby building to allow my eyes to focus on it through frosty lashes. "Ja? Ja?!" A rat and another rat. What perfect world.

"...Ja." I replied. It was a ghost talking in my stead. "Let's... try." What was I thinking? Of course she wasn't gonna pay me anything. Stupid Zwei.

And then she started pushing me, nudging along as i stared at the snow. Pulled the carriage with me, and then watched as she ran inside when we arrived. "Wait for me, ja?"

There's nothing else I can do now. I left it there, and sat down on the staircase next to the building. It probably leads to a backyard with a bar. That has food. And something Christmas-sy.

My tummy is still empty.

I laid back, flinched a little as the hard stone stairs bit into my back and neck from behind like an icy whip. It hurts, but it's the closest semblance to something I could rest on. So I blinked at the skies above. It didn't blink back.

I blinked slightly slower.

It still didn't give a care back.

...

Maybe... just a bit of a nap as I wait.

The watch.

I jolt awake the moment my delirious self felt nothing in my skirt pocket. It's dark outside, so dark, I can't even see the snow beneath me. Berlin had gone silent. And it left me behind.

With the last bit of my strength I pulled myself up from the cold ground, snow falling from my chest to cover my already buried feet. My soles are feeling like they are walking on red hot coal and yet everything everything else seemed to contrast it by too much. My hand patted on my skirt pocket again.

At least the carriage is still there, abundant enough that my thigh had just hit its handle. it doesn't sting, or hurt, because it is all numb.

I left it there and walked past the hotel, crunching my boots towards the spot where the footsteps started to become of two people's, and where they cluttered together. It is all but a soft groove now, but at least, walking to here, the moon had already peeked past the cloud for me to see. Just a bit. "Hmh.." I stared blankly at the whiteness, yet all I could think of was my own home back in Meissen. If I was there, at least the neighbors would still take me in by their fireplace. Warm. Cozy. Not like Berlin.

That aside, I arrived at the site. I assume this is where I had dropped it, so my legs buckled down into a crouch and my hands started to sift through the snow. It's freezing, but it's part of the deal. I can't lose it. Never. "Oma... was würde sie wohl von mir denken...?" Possibly regret. Possibly pity. But it's for sure not pride or joy.

The moon hid behind clouds again. I can't see the silver gleam. Maybe it's just... there? "Hah-.." I take one aching step forward, still in a hunch, and sift through the darkness once more. Is it hopeless...? No. I'd rather freeze to death than lose the only thing that matters anymore. I'd rather sell my soul to the devil if it meant I get to, at least for once, see it again.

And then some lights hit me. Orange, lamplight. Am I inconveniencing the building owner? Who is- "Sorry, sorry, I'm just trying to find lost.. i-items." It came out much more shaky than I intended even when the lamp seemed to melt the ice on my back. A little. "I promise it will be done- bitte-" I cut myself off of my own pitiful self-defense, staring solely at the barest glimmer that dared to peak up for me.

Silver.

"Yes! I- I found it!" The familiar shape was fished out by my own fingers quicker than my empty stomach allowed, but at least I have it now. I can smile like the dumb, naïve girl that I am. Maybe the first time I've felt joy since... forever.

I fell to my knees then, but then waddled around to face {obj}. {poss} lamp, too. "Danke, danke, f-for the-" Then I coughed. One little huff of escaping air, maybe from what miniscule happiness I deserved. "For the light, ja!"

Still. I can't just leech around.

"I- I won't loiter around anymore," As I huffed, my legs pushed my body upwards into a somewhat stable stance through my own frost and, admittedly, dying knees' misery. But at least from my iced lashes, I saw something that I could be glad existed. "S-sorry!"

My watch is still here, and I'm glad that it is.

Bygone

I walk down the road, head bowed down to focus on the few things that I still have in my hands. The silver watch, and a few marks left for dinner. I stared at it in hopes that it might multiply. It didn't.

What did I expect of anything. Money won't just appear, that's just stupid, so you have to work for it. Which... I frankly hate. "Miss! Miss! A- a penny please?"

I stopped. What? Me?? "O-oh, uh-" There's a boy below me, dressed in nothing but stained clothes that mirrored the buildings around us. And a hat that are seemingly too clean for a rat like me and him. Doesn't looked like someone from around here either with all the feelings of his clothes, being so... I don't even know, it just felt different. And a penny? I can barely afford anything, what am I supposed to do? "Uhm." Very helpful Zweise. I'm standing on a hose right now. What now?? "Well- I-" STOP TALKING.

"I- Look," Wait... is he British? "I'm sorry, but please, just for once!" I can't look at him in the eyes like that, so damningly similar that it reminded me of the morning mirrors'. Actually don't imagine that, it makes it worse, Zweise. "I uhm-" I took one step back.

"Just a penny!"

...

I walk away. Dinnerless.

I stare at my hands again, now with only the watch remaining. I can still hear him thanking me, with that voice and with that bit of hope people usually have before they starve. That was... around 1 mark and 2 pfennigs. Enough for a meal. Good, children needs to eat more than I do.

"Hah..." Maybe that was a bad idea. One was two fare's worth of pushing a cart, gone in a few clacks of metal. "M'gonna be working like a horse today..." And it's only factory opening hours. If there are any that works in Berlin, that is.

The skies are turning grey above me, and a wild instinct told me to simply go home and call it a day, taking rest and sleep until my eyes forget how to open again. But, that means no food for tomorrow. Means I'll starve in a Christmas eve. And die. Which is bad.

Shit. I need to make some bucks somehow, maybe try a new job or something because pushing carts are feeding me nothing but crumbs. Yeah, brilliant idea Zweise! Try finding a job in this economy! "Tch..." No that is not gonna work. If there was a good job for hire I would not be walking under the snow like an abandoned stray. Shit, what in the world do I do?? If santa exists then PLEASE drop me an actual job for once-

"Guhg-"

"Eyes ahead, Arschgeige."

Holy shit. That man is twice the size of me. I locked my eyes onto the stain of piss below me, facing into it like a death row inmate getting the lead candies. "J-ja ja ja, Sorry-" Oh HELL no. How the FUCK did you zone out that bad you actual walking brick?! Shit! He's turning around. Okay. Okay. Pretend you're sidewalk nutcracker they put outside as decorations. Is that even how it's used?? SHUT UP "W-won't happen again."

Oh.

Why the hell is he running. Is someone behind me?? "EH!? NEIN, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHI-"

...

...there's no one. Maybe I'm getting schizophrenic. Time for a well-deserved sigh of relief, and maybe go home. "Hah.." I looked at my hand, where my watch is.

Uh.

"Oi! THAT FUCKIN' HULK GOT YE STUFF MISS" The kid from earlier. SHIT! That was a thief you fucking asshead, Zweise you actual fucking moron- "Ja ja-! HALT! STOP! GIVE ME MY WATCH BACK-!" My hand reached out to the guy first, before I realized that it's my legs that needed to move. Oh shit.

I started to run, trying to keep my eyes on him as I put as much effort as I possibly could into my legs. No good. Already too far ahead, and I've eaten exactly NOTHING to even have the energy to chase after. So after just a mere two turns, he left me with no air in my lungs and nothing to my name. Actually now. "Hah- scheiße-" This is horrid, I can barely keep myself straight. I probably look like a wheezing bum. I am. "Meine Uhr-" No one here, just me. I picked up a rock. Held it tight. "Verdammt! Geh und fick dich selbst-! JA?!" I threw it at the general direction of him, or where he went, whatever. I don't give a fuck anymore. This shit genuinely sucks, how the fuck is it always ME who gets everything wrecked under a train? God damn it all. Drag EVERYTHING TO HELL. Everything can fucking DIE-

Thwack!

"Scheiße!" Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshit. I fucked up big time. Of course someone popped up and ate that rock to the face! Uh- Zweise, how the fuck did this happen?? "I- I'm sorry, sorry! Uh-" I skiddled to {obj} like the dumb rat that I am, hands in the air. Shit. {poss} face is smeared BAD. Uhm. Oh no. "I- l-let me wipe-"

This shit literally can not get any worse.