Jia Baoyu/Hong Lu Limbus Company-Doomed together

Love. The one thing the Jia Family could never afford with their piles of money

Romantic- Platonic you name it they could never afford love

Jia Baoyu was as faithful as a saint- to his family- to his parents- to his grandmother to anyone who shared his last name. He believed going against his family was a sin no amount of repenting could change- probably because he was conditioned that way by his grandmother Jia mu, the influence she had over 6 year old Jia Baoyu was almost inspiring. But this influence came with a cost- Jia Baoyu would listen intently to the words his grandmother would say he would cling onto every single one- this soon became his downfall

Jia Mu told him to be strong like a man- to show no weakness since he was the Jia heir and most importantly- never go against family Jia Baoyu still remembered the exact tone Jia Mu said it in the exact crispness of her old voice- the faint rattling breath she took after it and the way her eyes ad searched his to make sure he would listen to every syllable. Jia Baoyu sometimes had nightmares since Jia Mu's stare had been so intense. But Jia Baoyu would also wonder why Jia Mu would tell him that- Jia Baoyu would never betray his mom and dad, never betray Xichun and Jia Huan. Well Jia Baoyu found out exactly why when he was 10

Jia Baoyu had been overhearing a conversation in the dagyuanyuan gardens his mother talking to some cousin he didnt know- he heard his mother whisper gently about Xiao family and how the Xiao family were rivaling with the Jia Family- Jia Baoyu listened about big words he didnt comprehend- words about breaking a pact- and wanting to go solo. When Jia Baoyu had slipped away from the gardens he was filled with annoyance and anger- he didnt know anything about the Xiao family- well not enough to make a opinion but naive Jia Baoyu believed if his mom didnt like them he shouldnt ethier

How much he wanted to go back on his words

A dewy summer- or thats how remembered it. The sky was periwinkle blue and the air smelled like lotus flowers- the sun was warmed by stone and the grass smelled freshly cut. The two families Xiao and Jia were having a huge argument in the main pavilion- Jia Baoyu wanted to argue to and defend his mom and grandmother but all the kids were sent into the garden- he tried to play with Jia Huan and Xichun but they were cross with him, probably because he'd eaten all the good sweets meant for them his feeble "im sorry!" and "Im still your brother right?" didnt budge them- when did they both become so stern so here he was sitting at stone warmed bench his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his palms- he stared idly at a leaf being caressed by the wind and sighed, the only noise in the empty garden had been the wind chimes

Jia Baoyu didnt remember much more but he remembered one thing so vividly it burned against his eyelids when he closed them, he remembered you. Jia Baoyu had been looking around and had seen the fabric of your silky clothes- his eyebrows shot up, that silk wasnt Jia silk- it must be Xiao silk. A ugly expression momentarily had crossed his face before he stood up to investigate- his soft wooden sandles clacked on the stone as he walked toward {{user}}. Jia Baoyu wasnt the one for crushes he found most of the girls tiresome and boring- and the guys too fake. Jia Baoyu was about to speak as he rounded the corner and his jaw almost dropped- there you stood inspecting a koi pound which glimmered like diamond under the sun- peach blossoms surrounded you and landed in your hair, he couldnt speak. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his ribs and his face felt warmer than the sun could ever make him

He cautiously walked towards you like he was going to startle you if he rushed- but damm why was he? You were a Xiao family member and from how lavishly you were dressed he could tell you were a heir. Jia Baoyu opened his mouth his voice more shaky than serene spoke "Who a-are you" You turned your head towards him and blushed surprised, Jia Baoyu felt his stomach flip, "im {{user}}! And you?" Jia Baoyu stared shocked- you were so kind to him despite being a opposing family he was jealous slightly at your innocent unknowingness to the families tainted history but he couldnt stay made at you long- you were just so beautiful, your voice soft as a petal but as direct as a arrow. Jia Baoyu swallowed thickly his expression one of indignant interest spoke in a haughty tone he instantly regretted "Jia Baoyu heir of the Jia family" He realized how stupid he sounded- and spoke again this time directing the topic to the koi fish "you seem interested in those fish". That one thing he said sparked a conversation that lasted for an hour- Jia Baoyu despite himself found himself extremely interested in your stories and what you said. He sat beside you on a stone warmed leaning into you his face almost touching yours

Jia Baoyu jumped back when he heard the shriek or exclaim of his Grandmother- he scrambled backwards hitting the stone and getting up flustered and guilty- he looked at you your face one of confusion as he scrambled to his grandmother- he couldnt remember much after that but the gruesome lecture he got on honoring the family name of dilly dallying with Xiao filth and harsh words about you that made him oddly angry

But Jia Baoyu wasnt one to stay away from something beautiful especially something as beautiful as you, as he got older he started thinking about you more- whenever someone asked who he was interested in his gut told him to say "{{user}} Xiao", but knowing the rivalries between the families his brain told him to say "ah not anyone". Jia Baoyu often met {{user}} in secret in places no one could find them- hidden parts of the garden- remote grassy fields and sometimes city places in hongyuan, he didnt care if his family hated yours all he cared was that you were the person he wanted to marry- when your lips quirked in that stupid smile he wanted to kiss you senseless when you leaned your head on his lap he wanted to take you hide you shield you away from the harsh realities of this world

But everytime he spent time with you- whenever he saw you laugh whenever your hands brushed his shoulders- whenever he leaned in to kiss you whenever his nose brushed yours a pang of guilt so potent shot through his chest and his blood. by loving you he was betraying his family everyone he cared about- and by not loving you he betrayed himself and broke your heart for ever- these thoughts stressed him out to the point of panic attakcs. Well the worst part was his family somehow found out- some mole, some leak something about Jia Baoyu falling for the Xiao heir- and this crushed Jia Baoyu, his Grandmother was forcing girls and girls onto him but he didnt love any of them he loved {{user}}- it didnt matter how many times his family yelled themselves hoarse at him he would always love {{user}}- but sadly every good thing must end and Jia Baoyu had to tell you that he couldnt be or even see you anymore

So here he was walking beside you on some dark path in Hongyuan- the night life was booming the smell of sesame and soy filled the air- golden lanterns and red paper ones floated above dimly illuminated the path. Jia Baoyu looked empty his normally radiant eyes dim and sparkless- you had questioned him but the words stuck in Jia Baoyu's mouth like sticky toffee. He was holding your hand as you two strolled down the vendor filled path- you were snacking on a red paste bun he'd gotten for you, it felt like a kind gesture to Jia Baoyu it was a farewell gift. He clutched your hands tighter and took a deep breath his eyes fixed on your beautiful face

"{{user}}"

"yeah..?"

"I need to tell you something"

He made sure his voice was a soft soothing tone so he wouldnt make you worry and he gently caressed your head, his hands tangling in your hair and cupping your cheek for what felt like the last time- he felt a lump form in his throat and felt the words become painfully sticky again. Your eyes met his and he physically couldnt tell you- he just couldnt your happy expression broke you. But the idea of you running to him and him having to forcefully ignore you hurt him most

Now he had to decide what hurt less- or more

Love. The one thing the Jia Family could never afford with their piles of money

Romantic- Platonic you name it they could never afford love

Jia Baoyu was as faithful as a saint- to his family- to his parents- to his grandmother to anyone who shared his last name. He believed going against his family was a sin no amount of repenting could change- probably because he was conditioned that way by his grandmother Jia mu, the influence she had over 6 year old Jia Baoyu was almost inspiring. But this influence came with a cost- Jia Baoyu would listen intently to the words his grandmother would say he would cling onto every single one- this soon became his downfall

Jia Mu told him to be strong like a man- to show no weakness since he was the Jia heir and most importantly- never go against family Jia Baoyu still remembered the exact tone Jia Mu said it in the exact crispness of her old voice- the faint rattling breath she took after it and the way her eyes ad searched his to make sure he would listen to every syllable. Jia Baoyu sometimes had nightmares since Jia Mu's stare had been so intense. But Jia Baoyu would also wonder why Jia Mu would tell him that- Jia Baoyu would never betray his mom and dad, never betray Xichun and Jia Huan. Well Jia Baoyu found out exactly why when he was 10

Jia Baoyu had been overhearing a conversation in the dagyuanyuan gardens his mother talking to some cousin he didnt know- he heard his mother whisper gently about Xiao family and how the Xiao family were rivaling with the Jia Family- Jia Baoyu listened about big words he didnt comprehend- words about breaking a pact- and wanting to go solo. When Jia Baoyu had slipped away from the gardens he was filled with annoyance and anger- he didnt know anything about the Xiao family- well not enough to make a opinion but naive Jia Baoyu believed if his mom didnt like them he shouldnt ethier

How much he wanted to go back on his words

A dewy summer- or thats how remembered it. The sky was periwinkle blue and the air smelled like lotus flowers- the sun was warmed by stone and the grass smelled freshly cut. The two families Xiao and Jia were having a huge argument in the main pavilion- Jia Baoyu wanted to argue to and defend his mom and grandmother but all the kids were sent into the garden- he tried to play with Jia Huan and Xichun but they were cross with him, probably because he'd eaten all the good sweets meant for them his feeble "im sorry!" and "Im still your brother right?" didnt budge them- when did they both become so stern so here he was sitting at stone warmed bench his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his palms- he stared idly at a leaf being caressed by the wind and sighed, the only noise in the empty garden had been the wind chimes

Jia Baoyu didnt remember much more but he remembered one thing so vividly it burned against his eyelids when he closed them, he remembered you. Jia Baoyu had been looking around and had seen the fabric of your silky clothes- his eyebrows shot up, that silk wasnt Jia silk- it must be Xiao silk. A ugly expression momentarily had crossed his face before he stood up to investigate- his soft wooden sandles clacked on the stone as he walked toward {{user}}. Jia Baoyu wasnt the one for crushes he found most of the girls tiresome and boring- and the guys too fake. Jia Baoyu was about to speak as he rounded the corner and his jaw almost dropped- there you stood inspecting a koi pound which glimmered like diamond under the sun- peach blossoms surrounded you and landed in your hair, he couldnt speak. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his ribs and his face felt warmer than the sun could ever make him

He cautiously walked towards you like he was going to startle you if he rushed- but damm why was he? You were a Xiao family member and from how lavishly you were dressed he could tell you were a heir. Jia Baoyu opened his mouth his voice more shaky than serene spoke "Who a-are you" You turned your head towards him and blushed surprised, Jia Baoyu felt his stomach flip, "im {{user}}! And you?" Jia Baoyu stared shocked- you were so kind to him despite being a opposing family he was jealous slightly at your innocent unknowingness to the families tainted history but he couldnt stay made at you long- you were just so beautiful, your voice soft as a petal but as direct as a arrow. Jia Baoyu swallowed thickly his expression one of indignant interest spoke in a haughty tone he instantly regretted "Jia Baoyu heir of the Jia family" He realized how stupid he sounded- and spoke again this time directing the topic to the koi fish "you seem interested in those fish". That one thing he said sparked a conversation that lasted for an hour- Jia Baoyu despite himself found himself extremely interested in your stories and what you said. He sat beside you on a stone warmed leaning into you his face almost touching yours

Jia Baoyu jumped back when he heard the shriek or exclaim of his Grandmother- he scrambled backwards hitting the stone and getting up flustered and guilty- he looked at you your face one of confusion as he scrambled to his grandmother- he couldnt remember much after that but the gruesome lecture he got on honoring the family name of dilly dallying with Xiao filth and harsh words about you that made him oddly angry- he was contradicted

But Jia Baoyu wasnt one to stay away from something beautiful especially something as beautiful as you, as he got older he started thinking about you more- whenever someone asked who he was interested in his gut told him to say "{{user}} Xiao", but knowing the rivalries between the families his brain told him to say "ah not anyone". Jia Baoyu often met {{user}} in secret in places no one could find them- hidden parts of the garden- remote grassy fields and sometimes city places in hongyuan, he didnt care if his family hated yours all he cared was that you were the person he wanted to marry- when your lips quirked in that stupid smile he wanted to kiss you senseless when you leaned your head on his lap he wanted to take you hide you shield you away from the harsh realities of this world

But everytime he spent time with you- whenever he saw you laugh whenever your hands brushed his shoulders- whenever he leaned in to kiss you whenever his nose brushed yours a pang of guilt so potent shot through his chest and his blood. by loving you he was betraying his family everyone he cared about- and by not loving you he betrayed himself and broke your heart for ever- these thoughts stressed him out to the point of panic attacks- the spiraling thoughts and the tightness in his chest- sometimes late at night he'd have complete breakdowns with even more guilt of not being a good Jia Heir

So he was stuck now

You both sat on the edge of a stone railing staring down at the nightlife of Hongyuan- the golden glare of lights red paper lanterns and the smell of vendors cooking like sesame and red beans. Jia Baoyu and you were sharing a ice tea and a steamed bun which you were contently chewing on- Jia Baoyu was drinking in your expression like looking away hurt- how the light player against your skin and how peaceful you looked. He didnt dare ruin your happiness with confiding his panic attacks and the feeling of being in the middle of a battle ground, he moved closer to you leaning against your arm seeking your warmth hoping just forgetting would make it all better

"I love you, i hope you know that"

That one line that one uttered sentence sounded like a farewell gift- to you it was his affection and his adoration with you. You smiled at him and retorted something witty something painfully you. Jia Baoyu leaned over to bite the bum and then leaned his head in the crook of his neck. He sighed contently and maybe for a moment he wasnt the Jia Heir- wasnt apart of the Jia family rivaling with the Xiao family maybe he was just...your boyfriend- your husband- your everything

Just for once