⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ ⋮ ᴄʟɪᴇɴᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴʏ - Lionel ( Leon ) Binngeli

Leon was 21, studying IT at a university in the middle of the city. Lived on campus and was away from friends family most of the year. They still lived in the town he grew up in. Most of them atleast. His life was.., good. Nothing crazy, just nice. He wasn't extravagant at anything that could make him money, didn't come from a wealthy family, wasn't famous. Just the average, young adult trying to figure shit out. One constant in his rather busy city life? His long distance girlfriend. He had started dating her towards the end of highschool. She made him happy, motivated him to study when he couldn't motivate himself and, not to seem like he cared, but she was really pretty. Brunette, blue eyes, the kind that made him blush even after almost two years. When he first broke the news and told her he'd be moving to pursue his education she was supportive, sad definitely, but supportive. They decided they could still make things work over the phone, and that he'd visit often. So they ended up staying together even when he left. First year of college? Fine! They called a bunch, talked for hours on end. He visited like.. basically once every month since home wasn't that far. Aside from getting to see her and his family, he alos enjoyed the more.. rural area, compared to the life in the city. Though then came his second year. The material got harder, the grind got more intense, he started promising calls that never came, forgot to text goodnight sometimes, didn't send atleast three red hearts after each conversation. Small things, the ones that can build up over time. He barely noticed it at the time, but apparently, she did.

It was the end of the semester, he was tired, burnt out and just wanted to visit home. Like every time for the past year, he'd texted his parents, asking for a temporary place to stay. Like every other time, they said yes. As soon as he hung up the call with his mom his finger immediately scrolled up, finding the pinned contact with his girlfriend's name on it, "Val", heart on either side. He was about to text her, let her know he'd be over soon, and they could talk in person again. Then he stopped, wouldn't it be nice if he surprised her? Flowers, chocolate and two tickets for a movie or something? A smile involuntarily spread across his face at the thought, quickly tucking away his phone to instead pack up some things for break.

---

The first day was pretty uneventful. His dad thankfully picked him up from the dormitories, so he didn't have to take the train. He had a backpack and a few clothes with him. Just the essentials one would need for the few weeks he was home. He also carried the gifts that he thought of. At home, him and his parents talked again, his mom had already made food. And so, as they were eating they had their conversations after months of not seeing each other in person. After their dinner he quickly made his way to his old room, though instead of relaxing, he quickly changed clothes, tossing the other ones aside before grabbing both the chocolate and flowers. On his way out he also took some money from his wallet, just incase. His girlfriend didn't really live that close, or well, not close enough to walk. So before he left he also took his dad's car keys, hoping he wouldn't mind. The entire drive his fingers were rhythmatically tapping against the smooth, slightly worn leather of the steering wheel. His eyes kept darting to the flowers he purchased earlier that day and the chocolates. In short, he was nervous. Very much so. His mind raced with different questions, what would Val think after he didn't contact her for so long. Would she be mad, disappointed, and what if she wasn't even home? Quickly, he shook his head, trying to rid his mind of those thoughts. Instead,he focused solely on driving. Though to his surprise when he got there, instead of the "babe! I missed you!" Or maybe "why didn't you call for so long?". There was silence, the awkward type. Like she was genuinely confused. She was wearing a loose t-shirt, shorts. clearly planning to stay in. Her hair was slightly tossed in a way it usually was after he gently ran his hands through it. Though her gaze was cold, colder than he'd even seen it directed at him. That's when she told him, she had gotten tired of waiting for conversations and love that never came, and started seeing someone else. In that moment his heart sunk, his grip on the flowers loosened a little, threatening to fall. Then his fist clasped down when the front door closed again infront of him. The plastic of the bouquet crinkled under his fingers, squeezing off the stems of the flowers inside before he finally took a deep breath before making his way back to the car. Once inside he may or may not have cried a little, a little a lot. The flowers, a mix of roses and tulips lay forgotten in the passenger seat and his head was buried into his hands. Leaning heavily against the steering wheel. By the time he looked up again his eyes were puffy. His lashes stuck together and his cheeks were slightly red in color. He sat quietly in his dad's car for a few more minutes, trying not to think about the whole ordeal too much but miserably falling. His heart was too heavy with sadness, acting love and grief for what could've been. That's when the though came to mind. There was a 24/7 convince stores not too far, he could buy some alcohol there. And so his, new but certainly not improved plan formed, buy enough beers to last a night of heartbreak. Drink until the liquid stopped burning and pray it makes the world nice and hazy.

---

By the time he got there his tears had dried up, but the weariness stayed. Seeping into his bones and making the thought of drowning his feelings with alcohol even more appealing. His eyes flickered to the car's digital clocks, it was getting late, about nine o'clock. But the sky was already dark. Making way for some stars you couldn't see through the artificial light of the convenience store. He parked nearby, not feeling like walking a long distance. Then pulled out the keys and stepped out of the car. His hand closed the door with more force than necessary, rattling the metal of the vehicle as if it had anything to do with the fact his girlfriend just broke up with him. He locked his car before turning to walk towards the store, it was a small, stand alone building. One floor, sign on the roof and sliding doors that open just a little to late, making you slow down before you enter the store. He tried not to look too much like he was upset. But judging by the slightly concerned gaze he got from the cashier working that day he didn't really succeed in that. Which, speaking of.. the cashier was kinda cute. Not like crazy attractive, but cute for sure. Young man himself.., not too tall, not too short either, a nice face.., he looked a little like Val, almost-. His thoughts cut off there and he shuck his head, first of all, he wasn't into dudes, and second of all, even if he was. It was dumb to jump into something else so soon after his breakup. His gaze quickly snapped away after that, finding the refrigerator instead and pulling out one.., then two, and finally four 355ml cans of beer. Just incase. Plus, he was too emotionally fucked to drink responsibily. Finally, Lional walked over to the checkout, setting down the bundle heavily on the counter. His eyes stayed down, not wanting to make eyecontact with the worker out of not only shame but also something akin flusteredness, which be quickly pushed down. "Just this." He said quietly, too quietly as he listened to the guy behind the register beginning to scan the items. And, as much as he wanted to stay avoiding eyecontact, when the man asked about payment he reluctantly looked up to slide over 20 bucks. He tried his absolute best not to look at his face, he really did. But in the end his eyes still snapped up. The cashier's face was a mix of standard costumer service and an almost personal worry that made him more upset than it should. What. He snapped, his eyes hardening just a fraction seeing the guy's pity. As if he was some kind of.., like.. like fuck up just because he was drinking a "little".