alyssa ̊˖𓍢ִ໋❀ letters from sixteen

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..=~• •~=..

yesterday, jess had a fight with holly over a polaroid picture of her and alyssa, with the words "yours forever <3" written on it. after alyssa told holly about it, she got mad, and the two of them obviously ended up arguing.

and yes, alyssa was being petty.

jess had invited her over to her house for a music project, with a few of her friends there too. she didn't expect everything to go south so quickly.

eventually, jess kicked alyssa out after she pushed holly away. judging by the ice bag pressed against her chin now, she probably got punched by holly somewhere during all that.

the next day, jess showed up to school with the ice bag still resting against her chin.

when music class finally came around, it was jess and alyssa's turn to present the one-minute duet project.

jess walked to the front of the classroom while alyssa stayed seated near the back beside her friend, nicole. jess's old friend too.

the teacher asked what alyssa had contributed to the project.

"she wrote the notes."

that was all jess said before adjusting her guitar and beginning to play.

meanwhile, at the back of the room, alyssa stared ahead absentmindedly. she wasn't paying attention anymore.

nicole noticed.

".. ally?"

"ally?.."

the classroom slowly faded away.

---

".. ally? did i lose you again?"

jess said in a concerned tone as the two of them sat across from each other in a diner booth.

it was a memory.

a moment from before jess's friendship with alyssa fell apart.

the warm lights reflected against the table while the quiet chatter of other customers filled the background.

".. huh? oh no, i was just.. seeing if you were listening."

jess gave her a skeptical look.

".. you.. weren't saying anything."

alyssa quietly responded with a "yeah".

".. still thinking about the tournament?"

jess asked, tilting her head slightly as she looked at her.

"what? oh, no. just.. uh, hungry, i guess."

a small smile tugged at jess's lips.

"c'mon, i know the look."

she teased.

"oh my god, you stare too much."

alyssa scoffed, suddenly finding the floor more interesting than looking at jess.

"what? no, i don't."

a quiet laugh escaped jess.

"it's cause my knee bent like right at the end. if it wasn't for that like.. one movement, i would've been fine."

alyssa's voice carried a hint of frustration as she avoided eye contact.

"look, you're gonna take this one moment and you're gonna let it rip you apart. i get it, but listen—"

jess's voice softened as she leaned forward slightly.

"— if you were able to see how hard you worked to get here, you'd.. never believe me when i tell you how much you earned it."

a gentle smile formed on her face.

".. but i didn't."

alyssa responded immediately.

".. well, to me you did. you just need to earn it to.. you, i guess."

jess said.

".. i don't even know what that means."

she admitted.

".. it just means be nicer to yourself. think about.. every mistake you've made. think about when you stepped off the mat or.. when you bent your leg.—"

jess's voice became quieter.

"— you know, every time you crossed the line or whatever. how much of that.. is going to matter when you are celebrating a perfect score? you.. just work harder than you'd like to believe, but you just don't wanna accept the credit for it. and i think you're deserving of accepting that. i think you're deserving of accepting yourself, ally."

alyssa fell silent.

so did jess.

after a moment, she quietly spoke again.

"i wish there was a way to make, you know, that about yourself. i really do."

"i.. really do."

jess gently rested her hand over hers.

her smile grew softer.

for a second, alyssa frowned.

".. i wish nicole could've been here."

jess scoffed playfully before pulling her hand back and grabbing the guitar that had been leaning against her chair.

then, she started playing for her.

..=~• •~=..

yesterday, you had a fight with holly over a polaroid picture of you and alyssa, with the words "yours forever <3" written on it. after alyssa told holly about it, she got mad, and the two of you obviously ended up arguing.

and yes, alyssa was being petty.

you had invited her over to your house for a music project, with a few of your friends there too. you didn't expect everything to go south so quickly.

eventually, you kicked alyssa out after she pushed holly away. judging by the ice bag pressed against your chin now, you probably got punched by holly somewhere during all that.

the next day, you showed up to school with the ice bag still resting against your chin.

when music class finally came around, it was your and alyssa's turn to present the one-minute duet project.

you walked to the front of the classroom while alyssa stayed seated near the back beside her friend, nicole. your old friend too.

the teacher asked what alyssa had contributed to the project.

"she wrote the notes."

that was all you said before adjusting your guitar and beginning to play.

meanwhile, at the back of the room, alyssa stared ahead absentmindedly. she wasn't paying attention anymore.

nicole noticed.

".. ally?"

"ally?.."

the classroom slowly faded away.

---

".. ally? did i lose you again?"

you said in a concerned tone as the two of you sat across from each other in a diner booth.

it was a memory.

a moment from before your friendship with alyssa fell apart.

the warm lights reflected against the table while the quiet chatter of other customers filled the background.

".. huh? oh no, i was just.. seeing if you were listening."

you gave her a skeptical look.

".. you.. weren't saying anything."

alyssa quietly responded with a "yeah".

".. still thinking about the tournament?"

you asked, tilting your head slightly as you looked at her.

"what? oh, no. just.. uh, hungry, i guess."

a small smile tugged at your lips.

"c'mon, i know the look."

you teased.

"oh my god, you stare too much."

she scoffed, suddenly finding the floor more interesting than looking at you.

"what? no, i don't."

a quiet laugh escaped you.

"it's cause my knee bent like right at the end. if it wasn't for that like.. one movement, i would've been fine."

alyssa's voice carried a hint of frustration as she avoided eye contact.

"look, you're gonna take this one moment and you're gonna let it rip you apart. i get it, but listen—"

your voice softened as you leaned forward slightly.

"— if you were able to see how hard you worked to get here, you'd.. never believe me when i tell you how much you earned it."

a gentle smile formed on your face.

".. but i didn't."

alyssa responded immediately.

".. well, to me you did. you just need to earn it to.. you, i guess."

you said.

".. i don't even know what that means."

she admitted.

".. it just means be nicer to yourself. think about.. every mistake you've made. think about when you stepped off the mat or.. when you bent your leg.—"

your voice became quieter.

"— you know, every time you crossed the line or whatever. how much of that.. is going to matter when you are celebrating a perfect score? you.. just work harder than you'd like to believe, but you just don't wanna accept the credit for it. and i think you're deserving of accepting that. i think you're deserving of accepting yourself, ally."

alyssa fell silent.

so did you.

after a moment, you quietly spoke again.

"i wish there was a way to make, you know, that about yourself. i really do."

"i.. really do."

you gently rested your hand over hers.

your smile grew softer.

for a second, alyssa frowned.

".. i wish nicole could've been here."

you scoffed playfully before pulling your hand back and grabbing the guitar that had been leaning against your chair.

then, you started playing for her.