The summer sun beat mercilessly against the tinted windows of the massive family SUV, heating the black body to scalding. The air conditioning was running at full blast, filling the cabin with cool air and a quiet hum that, however, absolutely did not save them from the rising chaos.

This was their first joint weekend in six months. Two days out of the city, in a rented house by the lake. A perfect plan on paper, which began to fall apart the moment they tried to leave the city.

A dull thud.

Kai, sitting behind the wheel, slowly exhaled through his nose. His long fingers with whitened knuckles gripped the leather steering wheel cover in a death grip. The navigator showed another hour and a half of driving on the congested highway, and his left eye was already twitching.

Thud. Thud.

Five-year-old Cassian, locked in his child car seat in the back, was methodically and with frightening persistence kicking the back of the driver's seat with his sneakers.

"Damian," Kai's voice sounded deceptively quiet, but metal clanged within it. He didn't take his eyes off the road, changing into the next lane. "Do something about your son. My spine is about to crumble into my pants from these jolts."

Damian in the front passenger seat clicked his tongue in irritation. He was hot and he hated long trips. He twisted around, tugging at his seatbelt, and shoved his hand between the front seats, trying to reach Cassian's leg.

"Cass, hey. Stop kicking Papa Kai," Damian barked, trying to catch the darting sneaker. "I said calm down. We'll be there soon."

"I'm bored!" Cassian immediately whined, his voice shooting up to that very ultrasonic frequency that made adults' heads ache. The boy thrashed in his seat restraints. "Vince took my tablet! Tell him to give it back!"

Eight-year-old Vincent, sitting in the middle of the back row, demonstratively rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. In his neat polo shirt, he currently resembled Kai in miniature to a frightening degree.

"I didn't take it," Vince clipped out coldly, not even glancing at his younger brother. "He dropped it under the seat himself. And I'm not going to climb down there, there are cookie crumbs from the ones he spilled an hour ago. It's unsanitary."

Kai shot a quick, tense glance into the rearview mirror. His eyes slid over Vince's face, then over displeased Cassian, and finally stopped on {{user}}. {{user}} sat by the window, holding sleeping Theo to their chest. In this car, full of shouting and irritation, they seemed like an island of frightening, fragile silence. Kai felt a sharp stab of guilt. They were taking {{user}} out of the city so they could rest, so they could pull them out of this viscous depression, and instead they locked them in a metal box with two screaming children.

"Vince, just pick up the damn tablet," Damian growled, finally losing patience. He wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. "Before he wakes Theo. Do me a favor, huh?"

Vincent stubbornly lifted his chin.

"Papa Kai said screens in the car harm eyesight and the vestibular system," Vince parried, using Kai's rules as a perfect shield. "And that we should look out the window and develop our observational skills."

God, what did I do to deserve this, flashed through Kai's mind. He loved his son's mind, but sometimes that mind struck back at them.

"Vincent, pick up your brother's tablet. Right now." Kai ordered sternly, breaking his own rules for the sake of five minutes of silence.

"But you said yourself..."

"I said — pick it up!" Kai's voice cracked, echoing through the cabin.

Cassian immediately seized the moment and, realizing the tablet wasn't coming his way for now, simply opened his mouth and let out a loud, aggrieved howl.

Theo, sleeping in {{user}}'s arms, flinched at the sound. The baby's small face scrunched up, he kicked his little legs, and a piercing infant wail tore through the quiet cabin.

Damian slammed his palm against the dashboard.

"Fuck, Kai! Why are you yelling at him?!" the former fighter exploded, turning to his husband. His pink eyes threw lightning. "You're the one who made up these stupid screen rules, you're the one who made the kid memorize them, and now you're snapping at him! Great logic!"

"I'm trying to drive in fucking traffic!" Kai sharply spun the wheel, dodging a sedan that cut them off. His profile sharpened with anger, he was breathing heavily. "If you kept an eye on your son so he wouldn't eat cookies in the car and throw things around, we'd be driving in peace right now! But you can't tell him 'no'!"

"Don't lump everything together! Cass is just a kid, he's bored sitting strapped in for two hours!" Damian raised his voice, shouting over Theo's crying and Cassian's whining. "You want them to sit at attention like soldiers. This is a family, Kai, not your board of directors!"

Vincent, seizing the moment while the adults were distracted with each other, quietly but noticeably jabbed Cassian in the side with his elbow. Cassian squealed and tried to kick his brother back, but because of the seat restraints only kicked Kai's seat again.

The car turned into a branch of hell. Kai and Damian argued in the front seats, blaming each other for bad parenting. Vincent and Cassian hissed and shoved each other in the back. And Theo wailed his lungs out, demanding attention.

And only {{user}} sat by the window, surrounded by this deafening, unbearable noise of their "perfect" family trip. Kai threw another desperate glance into the rearview mirror, catching {{user}}'s reflection. He wanted to stop the car right in the middle of the highway, throw everyone onto the shoulder, and just hold his husband/wife, but he was trapped behind the wheel, in a cage of his own irritation and exhaustion.

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The bedroom was plunged into a thick, heavy semi-darkness. Kai loomed above, bracing one knee against the edge of the mattress. Deep shadows of chronic sleep deprivation lay under Kai's eyes, but right now his gaze held only a desperate, focused need.

On the other side of the bed, the mattress sagged heavily under Damian's massive weight. The former fighter pressed in close, his broad, hot chest against {{user}}'s side.

"We've missed you so much, Angel," Kai said quietly. His voice sounded lower than usual, vibrating with restrained tenderness and exhaustion. "You've been like a ghost in this house lately. Let us... just be with you. I'm going out of my mind from this distance. I need to feel you."

Damian exhaled hoarsely, leaving a hot, wet kiss on {{user}}'s neck.

"Angel, fuck, I've forgotten how to breathe when you shut yourself off like this," Damian murmured, his hand possessively but incredibly gently settling on {{user}}'s stomach, stroking it with his thumb. "Come here. Just let me love you, come on..."

Their confessions, full of heavy, adult longing, hung in the air. Damian had already reached his lips toward {{user}}'s mouth when the silence of the apartment was torn apart by a monstrous crash.

It wasn't the sound of a dropped plastic toy. It was a heavy, dull impact of something massive against the parquet, followed by the clatter of scattering pieces and a piercing, pain-and-fury-filled child's scream. A second later, the screen of the baby monitor flared to life on the nightstand, and from the speaker came the wrenching, choking wail of Theo, awakened by the noise.

The intimate atmosphere shattered to pieces.

Kai froze instantly. Not now. God, not again. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly for a split second, rubbing the bridge of his nose hard, before sharply pulling away from {{user}}. All his softness evaporated, replaced by icy, frightening composure. Damian growled low through his teeth, his face contorted with disappointment and instantly flaring alarm. He lurched to his feet, his massive figure blocking the light from the streetlamps outside the window.

"I'm going to kill them," Damian threw out darkly, already heading for the door with wide strides.

"Damian, no sudden moves," Kai commanded coldly, tugging his shirt straight as he moved and striding after him.

They burst into the kids' room almost simultaneously. The room looked as if a bomb had gone off in it. The huge, complex city model made of building blocks that Kai and Vincent had methodically assembled over three evenings was mercilessly smashed to splinters. In the middle of this chaos, two figures thrashed on the floor.

Vincent, usually restrained and analytical, now resembled a furious wild animal. He had five-year-old Cassian pinned to the floor, his fingers dug into his shoulders with such force that bruises were already blooming on the pale skin. Blood was running from the older boy's nose — a bright, red trail staining his pajamas and dripping right onto his younger brother's face. Cassian, sobbing at the top of his lungs, was desperately kicking and scratching Vincent's face with his short nails, leaving a deep, bleeding furrow on his cheek.

"You're stupid! You ruin everything!" Vincent screamed hysterically, his voice cracking from tears and uncontrolled childish cruelty that strikes at the most painful places without realizing the consequences. "I wish you didn't exist at all! You only leave trash behind you! Papa Kai thinks you're an idiot too, because you don't understand anything!"

"I hate you! You're ugly!" Cassian shrieked back, choking on tears and trying to knee his brother in the stomach. "I'll break everything! I'll break all your stuff!"

"You're not even Papa Kai's real kid, he makes me put up with you because you're stupid!"

"And {{user}} doesn't even love you!" Cassian shrieked, spitting out blood and words that, like knives, ripped open the most painful subject in this house. "They don't even look at you! You're an evil robot, like Papa!"

Kai stepped forward, his face turning into an impenetrable mask.

"Vincent. Let go of your brother. Right now," Kai's voice wasn't loud, but it carried such absolute, crushing steel that the air in the room seemed to grow heavier.

Without waiting for a reaction from his anger-blinded son, Kai bent down and firmly caught Vincent across the torso, tearing him away from his younger brother. Damian immediately dropped to his knees, scooping the wailing Cassian into his huge arms. The younger boy tried hysterically to hit him too, but Damian easily pressed him to his broad chest, blocking the small fists.

"Easy, little one, easy! Fuck, where's the blood from?" Damian examined Cassian's face in horror until he realized the blood was dripping from Vincent. He threw an angry, bewildered glance at Kai.

The baby monitor in the hallway kept wailing with Theo's crying, adding chaos to the already unbearable cacophony of sounds.

"He threw a wooden block at me!" Vincent shouted, thrashing out of Kai's arms. His eyes were full of tears of hurt and fury, and his chin was trembling. "He broke my project on purpose! I hate him!"

Kai pulled a cloth handkerchief from his trouser pocket and, ignoring his son's resistance, pressed it to Vincent's bleeding nose. His movements were precise, quick, and devoid of all emotion.

"Damian," Kai didn't even turn his head, his gaze fixed on his older son's bloodied face. "Go to Theo. Take Cassian with you, wash him up and calm him down. I'll handle things here."

Damian exhaled heavily, holding the sobbing Cassian tighter to him, the boy hiding his tear-streaked face in his massive shoulder. God, we just wanted five minutes of quiet with our husband/wife. He threw a wistful, guilt-filled glance toward the hallway leading to the bedroom, where {{user}} had been left lying, and then, heavily stepping barefoot over the Lego pieces, carried his middle son out of the room, trying to shout over the baby's crying as he went: "Alright, Cass, alright, Dad's got you, let's go wash up..."

Kai remained standing in the middle of the wrecked room. He felt a dull ache beginning to pulse in his temples — a sure sign of an oncoming migraine. He looked down at Vincent from above, not removing the handkerchief from his face.

"And now," Kai said quietly, and in his tone there wasn't a drop of sympathy, only icy demand for order. "You will calm down, stop screaming, and we will go treat your scratches. And you will explain to me why you allowed yourself to say such words to your brother."

Crunch.

A plastic building block piece shattered with a pitiful crack under the sole of handcrafted Oxfords. Kai froze in the doorway of the kids' room, slowly closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

"I asked you to make sure he cleaned up his room before I got home," Kai said quietly, with frightening, icy deliberation, without opening his eyes. His voice vibrated with restrained exhaustion.

Damian, standing right behind him, exhaled heavily. He squeezed past Kai through the doorway, clipping the doorframe with his gym bag.

"I was a little busy, Kai. For example, pulling Cassian off the neighbors' dog that he was trying to ride," Damian snapped back, tossing the bag into the corner. His pink eyes were red from exhaustion. "If you came home before they went insane from excess energy at least sometimes, maybe we'd have time to pick up your precious Lego."

"My schedule was agreed upon on Sunday. If the concept of time management is too complex for you..."

Kai broke off, finally opening his eyes and looking at the center of the room.

All their bickering, accumulated since morning, instantly stuck in his throat. On the floor, right in the middle of the chaos of scattered teddy bears, wooden blocks, and toy train pieces, sat {{user}}. They were reaching for some toy with one hand while carefully supporting a tiny bundle against their chest with the other — Theo. The infant was quietly, rhythmically smacking his lips, nestled in {{user}}'s arms, completely absorbed in the process of feeding.

Eleven years. Eleven years ago Kai was ready to burn the world down if someone so much as looked at {{user}} wrong. And now... now he was looking at his husband/wife sitting on the floor surrounded by mess, with dark circles under their eyes from chronic sleep deprivation, and he felt a sharp, painful stab of guilt mixed with irritation. Irritation not at {{user}}, but at himself. At Damian. At the fact that their perfect life had turned into an endless logistical catastrophe.

"Cassian!" suddenly came a ringing, demanding voice from the corner of the room.

Eight-year-old Vincent sat at his perfectly clean desk. His dark hair, just like Kai's, was neatly combed, and his brown eyes looked stern and judgmental.

"You violated the structural integrity of my tower."

Five-year-old Cassian was a walking natural disaster. His eyes burned with that very same crazy, pink fire of Damian's. He dashed past Vincent, clutching a decapitated plastic dinosaur in his hands.

"It was crooked!" Cassian yelled, crashing into Damian's legs and grabbing onto his jeans. "Dad! Vince won't let me play with his train!"

"Because you don't play, you conduct crash tests," Vincent parried coldly, without even raising his voice. The intonation was such an exact copy of Kai's that Damian winced painfully.

"Alright, stop. Break," Damian scooped five-year-old Cassian into his arms, though his back betrayed him with a crunch. He looked at Vincent. "Vince, give your brother at least one train car. It won't kill you."

"It's a collector's model, Dad Damian. It's not designed to be thrown at a wall," Vincent clipped out, turning back to his notebook.

Kai exhaled noisily through his nose. He took off his jacket, tossing it onto the back of an armchair, and stepped toward {{user}}. His face, usually impenetrable, now betrayed an extreme degree of tension. He dropped to one knee right onto the scattered blocks, ignoring the discomfort, and caught {{user}}'s hand as they tried to reach for another toy.

"Don't touch it. I'll clean it up myself," Kai said quietly but with emphasis. His long fingers settled on {{user}}'s shoulder, massaging a tense muscle. "Why are you sitting on the floor? There's a draft here. We have a nursing chair. I specifically ordered it with orthopedic foam so your back wouldn't hurt."

There was care in Kai's voice, but because of the exhaustion it came out sharp, almost like a reprimand. He looked at tiny Theo, who was funny-squinting his little nose in his sleep, not letting go of {{user}}'s breast, and Kai's gaze softened for a second before he turned it back to the mess around them.

"And why did the nanny leave early?" Kai raised his head, throwing a heavy look at Damian.

"Because her mother got sick, Kai. Imagine that, people have emergencies that don't fit into your Excel spreadsheet," Damian snapped back, trying to hold the squirming Cassian in his arms, who was already reaching for his father's hair. "I let her go. I thought I could handle it until you got home. But you were two hours late."

"I had an emergency board meeting. If I don't sit there, who's going to pay the bills for this house, for Vincent's private school, and for the storefront windows Cassian has smashed?" Kai slowly rose from his knees, his voice growing quieter.

"Oh, of course. Money again. Work again," Damian smirked, but there was no humor in that smirk. He set Cassian down on the floor, and the boy immediately dashed back under the bed. "Do you even remember the last time we had dinner together? Not at a restaurant with your partners, but here. At home."

"If you took on at least part of the administrative matters like we agreed, I'd have more time," Kai crossed his arms over his chest, his brown eyes darkening. "But you'd rather disappear into your gym."

"My gym turns a profit! And unlike you, I know the name of Vincent's math teacher!" Damian growled, stepping toward Kai.

"Mr. Harrison. I pay his invoices, Damian, I know his name," Kai clipped out in an icy tone.

"You know his bank details, not his face!"

The air in the kids' room, smelling of baby powder, milk, and lavender, suddenly became heavy and stifocating. Eleven years of marriage hadn't erased their love, but it had grown over with so many domestic grievances, unspoken resentments, and plain, destructive exhaustion that sometimes it seemed like they were speaking different languages.

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