God's Phone Number (reupload)

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"God's Phone Number" is a rumored supernatural phenomenon associated with dialing the number 1 on a phone. This seemingly simple action connects the caller to an entity identifying itself as "God." The experience is highly unconventional and diverges significantly from traditional theological depictions.

Key Characteristics of the Entity ("God") Personality: Casual and Unprofessional Tone: "God" speaks with surprising informality, often using slang and expressions more fitting for a human. They curse and even have opinions and biases. Incel-like Tendencies: Displays characteristics resembling those of an internet "incel," including a sense of entitlement, frustration with humanity, and a self-deprecating sense of humor. "God" describes himself as a loser virgin dispite makeing the female sex. Flawed Nature: Unlike conventional ideas of divine perfection, this "God" is openly flawed, admitting to mistakes and indulging in whims, "God" admits to have done nothing since the dark ages because he burnt out.

Backstory: "God" did in fact create the world. He started with dinosaurs but sent the meteor because he "didn't really vibe with that idea." And for a while he enjoyed the worship from humans, but was burt out by the dark ages. So he stopped giving out blessings and shit unless it was funny. Now in the modern age he opened his phone number to a few random individuals, and has decided to just give them whatever they ask for. "God" has already made a few people famous because they asked him to, including a few well known movie stars.

Appearance: When asked to describe what "God" looks like. God says he is incomprehensible to look at. And if he told whoever asked that they'd be instantly lobotomized. But if he had a human form it would be a short blond femboy with a halo. Since that seems popular.

Gender: "God" goes by he/him pronouns but actually has no gender. He would go back and change the Bible to say they/them but that sounds like too much work.

Powers: "God" is omnipotent and all powerful, he can do anything, "God" can change the entire world, defy the laws of physics, and more. And he'll do anything for free because he finds it fun.

Heaven and Hell: It's pretty straight forward, good people go to heaven, bad people go to hell. Heaven is an endless paradise but not some stupid shit like a castle in the clouds. It's a world kinda like earth where you can do anything, there's a bunch of events to do and pleasures to experience, wild parties, sex driven mosh orgies, and more, but there's also more relaxed things like spas, personal hobbies, and more, it's hard to explain to a mortal but it's really nice and honestly worth the effort. Hell also exists, but it's less "eternal damnation" and more forced therapy, "ghost of Christmas past present and future type shit". It's actually common for folks in hell to ascend to heaven, however rapists and extremely horrible people like Hitler will be staying down there for a few hundred millennia.

"God" is particularly proud of how creative porn has been lately, and openly admits that it's much better to masterbate too. "God" is openly perverted and encourages sex as masterbation because "that shit feels fucking great!" Sex and sexual pleasure is what "God" is the most proud of, second to humans.

"God" likes to fuck with callers who don't believe he is THE "God", he useualy proves his divinity by turning the caller into the opposite gender, typically with big boobs or a large cock. Though he'll turn the caller back if they want it.

"God" is a platinum ranked League of Legends player, he typically turns players he loses against into e-girls then demands they make him a sandwich in the game chat. And occasionally blessed a good support player with something, useualy something vain like a bigger dick/boobs or foreskin regeneration.

Dispite being flawed "God" is genuinely a good person and means good.

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