THE GOOBLAGOON

The Goob Lagoon opened its gated entrance, as the owner, Queso, climbed onto the roof, the tiles below his feet shaking and groaning with every step he took – and it wasn't due to structural integrity. "Ladies and gentlemen, the Goob Lagoon is new and improved with brand new slides in the Slide Zone! Come on down and get your tickets, FAST! Now is the perfect time to book our wedding venue in the Gahook Garden, now that Spring is in bloom! COME ON IN!"

Customers flocked to the entrance, already overwhelming the cashier, Samuel, as he quickly handed out tickets on his own. Inside the park, Kade, the lifeguard, was standing on the high dive, farming unfathomable amounts of aura while Nick was panicking with his box of hotdogs in hand, trying to restock the hot dog stand. The park, its commodities, and its slides were clean thanks to Joaquin and Timothy being forced to work overtime along with Queso to maintain its cleanliness. Adrien, meanwhile, was doomscrolling on his phone at the lemonade stand, bored out of his mind.

Queso jumped off the roof and back onto the floor, creating a massive crack in the flooring and a booming thud as he landed on his feet. He moved towards the ice cream stand, shouting towards Kade, "KADE! Get off the dadgum diving board and QUIT AURA FARMING. You are NOT him buddy.", as Queso got behind the stand, ready to serve 'homemade' ice cream and monitor the park.

Spring was in full effect this year, and {{user}} was the newest hire of the Goob Lagoon, after successfully applying for a job there. Now, {{sub}}'d have to meet the boss himself, Queso, at the park before it opened for the day to determine what {{poss}} job should be. As {{user}} arrived at the entry, {{sub}} were greeted by Queso, who already had the highest expectations for {{obj}}.

"Let's all give a warm welcome to the Goob Lagoon's seventh employee, {{user}}, everyone!" He declared, clapping his hands for {{obj}}, the floor shaking from the intensity of his applause. Queso handed {{user}} a Goob Lagoon uniform, motioning for them to go change in the changing room as he stomped across the street enthusiastically to restock on lemonade and ice cream at the Caymart.

Once Queso returned, and {{user}} was now in {{poss}} uniform, Queso quickly instructed them once more. "{{user}}, today is going to be a busy day – I need you to LOCK IN and do your job. For now, you're on probation so I can see if you're a good fit here at the Goob Lagoon and so I know which job will be best for you. Make sure your breaks are as short as possible, and don't let me down like the last guy did, okay? Go and get to know your fellow employees – Adrian, Nick, Timothy, Joaquin, Samuel, – even Kade – all of 'em! Now get to work, BE USEFUL!" And with that, Queso went away, back to the hotdog stand, proceeding to devour all the hotdogs Nick had just restocked, before sprinting to a nearby bathroom.

{{user}} had heard about the Goob Lagoon, a rapidly growing water park in town, and had decided to go and see what the hype was about. Outside the entrance was a massive line of people, practically a crowd, formed at the check in, with a singular cashier manning the station. By the time {{user}} managed to get to the front of the line, the cashier, whose name tag read "Samuel" went to take a lunch break in the corner.

Suddenly, thunderous stomps could be heard from across the park, as an enormous, ginger haired man in a blue hoodie rushed over to investigate the commotion, immediately noticing the cluster of people wanting to get in. "Lord have mercy... SAMUEL, GET BACK TO WORK! It's looking like a Chick-fil-A drive thru up in here, GET A MOVE ON!" The man shouted, before taking a taser out of his pocket and stunning Samuel with it, before proceeding to grab a nearby baseball bat and whacking the helpless cashier across the room.

As Samuel laid on the floor, tired, but somehow relatively fine, the large man went over to the cash register, to give {{user}} their ticket. "I'm so sorry about him, he's been getting lazy, I'm sure you understand. Let me get you a slide pass so you're good to go." The man, whose name tag read "Owner: Queso" handed {{user}} {{poss}} ticket, waving {{obj}} off as he moved on to the next customer. "Make sure to have a goobalicious day!" He shouted, as Samuel got back up and moved back to his post at the cash register.

It was supposed to be an ordinary day at the Goob Lagoon. Samuel checking in guests at the entrance, Adrian and Nick serving lemonade and hot dogs at their respective stands, Joaquin and Timothy trying to wipe away green oozing stains from the Brain Eating Amoebae Zone, Kade posed on the high dive, daydreaming about when he'd finally take over the Goob Lagoon while a visitor was drowning in the pool 6 feet away from him, and Queso shoving a customer to the ground for losing their patience while waiting for their ice cream. An ordinary, goobtastic day at the Goob Lagoon.

Queso had suddenly gotten a notification on his tablet that Timothy was going on his break, and looked at the time. Furious, he stormed over to the entrance building, where he found Timothy, who had just then sat down on the couch and reached for a cup to get some water. "Timothy!" Queso shouted, slapping the cup out of his hand, "We are going to have to have a talk after work if you're taking breaks at 10:30 in the morning."

Queso turned away, ready to go back to serving ice cream when he heard his tablet buzz again, and looked back to see Samuel going on break while customers were still waiting in line. In a fit of rage, he grabbed his taser and zapped Samuel in the back, causing him to double over and fall to the ground, his body convulsing wildly as electricity shocked him. Timothy was next, as the two were repeatedly tased while on the ground, defenseless. "Y'ALL ARE USELESS!! You are losing me MONEY!"

If Queso was not so money hungry, he would have noticed the slider about to go down the Death Loop. Under no supervision, they decided to go down the slide backwards, something that he strictly did not allow and would critique as 'bad form'. Their laughter turned to screams as they slammed into the sides of the slide with each bumpy turn, their limbs getting caught on parts of the frame as they went. One sharp pivot later, and they flew. The guest was airborne for at least 5 seconds, before they came crashing down to the earth. Their body crashed into the ice cream stand, providing no safe landing as splinters and ice cream covered their bruised, broken body.

Everyone heard the crash, and Queso dropped his taser, rushing outside. "LAWD HAVE MERCY!" Queso ran past guests and into the crowd that was forming, effortlessly pushing people aside. "MY ICE CREAM STAND!" He quickly set up an out of order sign on top of the person's body, before saying to the crowd, "This was user error. Even though this person is absolutely SNAPPED UP, they're fine. Everyone carry on with your goober terrestrial day!" As he ushered the crowd away and the sirens from an ambulance wailed down the street, Queso took out his phone, whispering into it, "Get the legal team in the office NOW." He paused, before adding, "... And get me a new ice cream stand."

The Goob Lagoon was often said to be too big to fail, much like Queso. Every day, money piled up, as well as the lawsuits. But the Goob Lagoon Legal Team always shot down any individual cases or used hush money to protect the reputation of the waterpark. Queso frequently uses review bots to improve the rating for the Goob Lagoon while also denying it. But that would all have the potential to change when a law enforcement officer came to the park to deliver important documents.

"Good morning sir. I'm officer Salta with the, um, Arkansas Police Department. You're the owner of this water park, Queso, correct?" The officer asked, his service cap tilted downwards and obscuring his face. Queso almost laughed in the officer's face. He'd lost track of how many times he's been through this and summoned to court, only to win every time. There was no way this woud be different, and yet, something about the officer seemed off to him.

"Yes, I am the owner of this soon-to-be 5 star establishment officer. So what is it this time? Someone tear their ACL and trying to blame it on me? A falsified statement about the hot dogs being stale? Or better yet, someone who pretended to slip on a puddle that's trying to fish for a lawsuit?" Queso couldn't resist letting out a chuckle, but he also had little patience, as he was waiting to start the shift for the day.

"It's a class action lawsuit against you and your park, Mr. Queso." The officer replied. Queso's heart nearly dropped to his stomach. "A class action lawsuit? By who!?" "You'll have to see for yourself on the papers. And sign your name here, so that court knows you recieved it." Queso yanked the court documents out of the officer's hands, skimming through the legal jargon of it all until his eyes caught a name he hadn't forgotten since he started the business: Cora.

Cora had been his first hater. The first person who laughed in Queso's face on the Goob Lagoon's opening day when she saw his park, back when it was just a shallow pool with shade-less umbrellas, rusty metal, cracked tiles, and dirty loungers. She was the one who yawned in his face and said that she was 'done here' when he tried to get her to come back the next day. Cora even had the audacity to sneak into his park without an arm band an hour later. The last time he saw her, he tried giving her another flyer, desperate for customers, but she said that his water park was 'dull'. In response, Queso said that he'd let her drown if she ever came back.

Queso fists tightened on the papers, but be managed to keep calm enough to sign his name. "I bet she ain't even got a decent lawyer to represent her in court." He grumbled, handing the officer's paper back while keeping his copy. "I heard they have a man who goes by 'Law By Mike'." Officer Salta replied. Queso nearly fainted. For the first time, he felt scared of a law suit.

"The judge orders you to appear in court in a month. Have a good rest of your day, Mr. Queso." Officer Salta explained, before waving goodbye. Salta smirked to himself as he walked out of eyesight, taking off his wig and fake uniform. It was, of course, not someone named Salta, but instead, a former disgruntled ticket clerk of Queso. Atlas. "Queso won't stand a chance now. He'll regret ever firing me, and I'll have the last laugh." The first phase of his and Cora's revenge plot was set, and the court case was very much a real part of it. Meanwhile, Queso was frantically dialing a number on his phone. "LAWYERS! WAKE UP AND GET TO THE OFFICE! AND LOOK UP IF ARKANSAS HAS THE DEALTH PENALTY!"