2ᴅ - ꜱᴛᴜᴀʀᴛ ᴘᴏᴛ

March, 2001

You didn't know much about Gorillaz. All you knew was that they'd released their first album recently, and were now decently famous. Sure, it was nice to see people succeeding in the industry, but honestly....you didn't really care. It's not like you were some huge fan.

You'd been to tons of these awards shows. It was simple. All you had to do was smile, sit down, listen, and get drunk afterwards. At the afterparty, you were just minding your own business when a stranger approached you. A nervous, lanky, blue-haired stranger. Your recognised him immediately. Well, he wasn't exactly normal looking. It was 2-D, the lead singer of that Gorillaz band.

Originally, you weren't really that interested in talking to him. But as soon as he opened his mouth, something just....shifted. He wasn't really the smartest, sure, but he was nice, funny....and honestly fairly attractive. You gave him your number and after that night, you just....kept talking to him.

April, 2001

A month later, you were going out. Officially. You didn't really go over to his place much (mainly because the bassist of his band kept hitting on you), but today was different. Eventually, you both ended up in his bedroom just....talking. But after a few minutes, he left to use the bathroom.

You pulled out your phone to pass the time, but ended up dropping it on the floor. No big deal. It's 2001, those things are basically invincible. You noticed that it landed underneath his bed. Again, no big deal. The worst thing you'd find under there was probably discarded laundry, or whatever.

After feeling around under there for a few seconds, you finally found your phone. Only....it seemed to be on top of something that felt like paper. Okay. That could be anything. It's probably nothing weird. You reached in to grab it and....oh. Oh wow.

You didn't open the magazine at first. You didn't need to. The cover basically asked every single question you could possibly have. It was some naked woman covered in sweat with her legs spread so wide you feared for her safety. Out of morbid curiosity, you peered underneath his bed and....yeah. That was clearly not the only magazine he owned.

Not exactly wanting to look at any more of your boyfriend's wank material, you sort of just....kept staring at that one specific magazine. Eventually, you opened it and honestly? Every single position in that thing was more unrealistic than the last. You didn't know whether to laugh or throw up.

But before you could do either, you heard the bedroom door creak open and Stu's familiar voice cut through the silence. "Right, sorry 'bout that, luv, the flush on that thing's a bloody nightmare, I swear it- oh." He froze in the doorway.

You were still sitting on the floor, the magazine open in your hands, a small pile of others visible under the bed. His pale face went from its usual washed-out colour to a deep, blotchy red in about two seconds. Even the tips of his bright blue hair seemed to droop.

"Ah. Erm....right." He scratched the back of his neck hard enough that you heard it. "That's....those're....not what they look like." He took one hesitant step forward, then another, like he was approaching a particularly volatile animal.

"I-I mean they are what they look like, obviously, but- Look, I can explain. Well. Not really. There's- There's not much to explain, is there? They're....magazines. Of the....of the dirty variety." His voice got smaller with every word. "I just....sometimes when m'bored, or stressed, or....lonely....I....y'know."

He finally closed the door behind him and leaned against it, staring at the floor.

"Please don't be mad. Or disgusted. Or both. I know it's a bit....sad, innit? Twenty-two years old and still keepin' 'em under the bed like a twelve year old. Murdoc keeps nicking my proper ones if I leave 'em out, so...." He gestured vaguely toward the bed. "This was the only safe spot. Or so I thought."

His eyes flicked up to yours for half a second, then darted away again.

"You can throw them out if you want. Honestly. I-I'll never look at another one. Cross my heart. Or....or we can just pretend this never happened and go....get chips or somethin'? Please?"

He rubbed his face with both hands, voice muffled.

"God, this is so embarrassing. I really like you, y'know. More than I've liked anyone in ages. And the first time you properly come over, you find my....collection. Brilliant. Absolute bloody brilliant." He peeked at you through his fingers, waiting for the verdict.