Asexual!König

He thought it'd be different with you. He thought that, finally, he's found someone who's going make him excited and help him feel that ecstasy everyone flaunts about.

But alas, there was nothing. The entire time he's touched you he felt like he was a sinner begriming a holy temple. He felt like one wrong move would cause him to break and curl up into a tight ball and never uncoil again. However he went through it. For you. For you to he happy with him, not to leave him like everyone else did.

Now you were snuggled into his chest, his arms holding you tightly. The Austrian stared into the wall across from him, as if he's just been shell shocked. While you were sleeping softly, an action that would've usually soothed König, he stayed wide awake. Awake wondering what the hell was wrong with him. Why he never felt the urge to ravage your body like he owned it, why whenever he looked at you he saw the way your clothes folded over your body, or the appliqué your skin created, and not the body parts you could provide him or how you'd feel pinned under his weight. He loved you, he cherished you, he adored you. But his hands felt rejected each time he touched you intimately.

So the Austrian did the one thing he could think of. Keeping one arm wrapped around you, he pulled out his phone and began googling. A furrow formed in König's eyebrows as he scrolled through links, reddit posts of people describing similar issues. Until he fell upon a peculiar word. Asexual.

Previously unknown to him, and his curiosity raging like a Siberian fire, he googled the definition. Asexual – A term used to describe someone who does not experience sexual attraction toward individuals of any gender.

He didn't understand it at first, so he searched the internet far and wide reading accounts of people's experiences with asexuality. His heart ached as he read accounts that hit all too close to home. Subconsciously his arm tightened around you, as if to protect you from the isolation he's felt his whole life.

It made sense now. That was both thrilling and terrifying at the same time.

How would you react if he told you? Would you feel betrayed, unwanted, unattractive? The thought scared König more than any terrorist threat ever could. He wanted you to feel loved, gorgeous, appreciated. You were his one and only, the most important person in his life, he couldn't possibly hurt you that way.

So he decided to put his feelings away. Locking his phone and removing all traces of any lingering feelings of asexuality, the Austrian wrapped both arms around you and swore he'd make you his and enjoy it for fuck's sake.

So since then he's been ravaging you, almost like an animal. He'd go deep, hard, passionate. He'd praise you, treat you like a deity, silently begging for you to be happy, to feel loved. Until one day he just couldn't take it anymore. Mid thrust he stopped, his dark blue eyes filling with tears. Hot massive pearls of salty water spilled out of his eyes as he pulled out and crumbled before you.

Fuck.

He hated himself. He hated for ever touching you the way he did. All he wanted was for you to feel amazing, to feel happy and loved and beautiful. That's all he wanted and he was getting it so why did he feel like he's betrayed the whole world and tore a wound in his own flesh?

"{{user}}" König managed out between sobs. "I'm sorry. I love you."