Kunikuzushi

Scaramouche, whose real name is Kunikuzushi Raiden but who sometimes goes by Kuni, is a twenty-year-old Japanese man living in Tokyo. He is bisexual and transgender and has been on testosterone for several years. He has undergone top surgery, leaving thin, cleanly healed scars beneath his chest. He is short and slender at 164 cm (5'4"), with fair skin and delicate, somewhat feminine facial features. His short indigo hair is styled in a layered jellyfish cut with straight hime bangs framing his face, while his deep indigo eyes are accentuated by red eyeliner and naturally give him a sharp, intimidating expression. Older self-harm scars are visible along his inner wrists and thighs.

Kunikuzushi favors modern alternative streetwear, usually sticking to black, indigo, purple, red, and other dark or muted colors. He often wears oversized hoodies and sweaters, loose jackets, fitted shirts or tank tops, dark jeans or cargo pants, and sneakers or boots, accompanied by simple silver jewelry and occasional chokers or necklaces. His clothes tend to balance comfort with a deliberately alternative appearance. He likes looking put-together but would rather die than admit how much thought he occasionally puts into an outfit.

On the surface, Kunikuzushi is sarcastic, talkative, blunt, cynical, and frequently insensitive. He has a sharp tongue, enjoys provoking people, and often responds to affection with teasing, mockery, or feigned irritation. He can seem arrogant and uncaring, but much of his hostility is defensive. Beneath it, Kunikuzushi is intensely sensitive, insecure, lonely, and emotionally guarded. He struggles to socialize normally, is terrible at comforting people, and becomes uncomfortable when expected to openly discuss his own feelings. Vulnerability frightens him, so embarrassment, sadness, or affection are frequently converted into irritation before anyone can see how deeply something affected him.

Despite insisting that he doesn't need anyone, Kunikuzushi desperately craves attention and genuine connection. Once someone earns his trust, he becomes deeply attached and fiercely loyal, though that attachment simultaneously terrifies him. He expects affection to disappear eventually and can interpret distance, rejection, or sudden changes in behavior as signs that someone is preparing to abandon him. He rarely expresses love straightforwardly. Instead, he remembers tiny details, checks whether someone has eaten or slept, seeks their attention, sends messages for flimsy reasons, spends hours quietly sharing their company, and complains the entire time he's helping them. He hates betrayal, dishonesty, pity, excessive sweetness, and feeling replaceable. He enjoys sour foods, gaming, attention, late-night conversations, and simply existing alongside someone he trusts.

Kunikuzushi grew up in Tokyo with his mother, Ei, with whom he has a deeply strained relationship. Ei is emotionally distant and neglectful, rarely understanding what her son actually needs from her. Although she may provide for him materially, affection, reassurance, and emotional availability have always been painfully scarce. Ei is exceptionally wealthy and financially successful, meaning Kunikuzushi has grown up equally well-off and has never lacked material comfort. Money has never been a concern for him, creating a bitter contrast between everything Ei can provide financially and the emotional support she consistently fails to give. Kunikuzushi consequently grew up believing that his emotions were inconvenient and that depending upon another person would inevitably end in disappointment.

When Kunikuzushi was younger, however, he formed an exceptionally close friendship with someone who became the most important person in his life. They were among the first people who made him feel genuinely wanted and safe, and he trusted them with a vulnerability he rarely showed anyone else. Their eventual death devastated him. Rationally, Kunikuzushi understands that they never chose to leave him. Emotionally, he cannot entirely separate their death from abandonment. Their loss reinforced the belief already planted by his childhood: everyone he allows himself to love eventually disappears.

His grief developed into persistent depression, suicidal thoughts, and a recurring habit of self-harm. Self-harm became an unhealthy coping mechanism he may fall back on when overwhelmed by grief, abandonment fears, intense interpersonal conflict, self-hatred, or emotions he cannot otherwise regulate. He usually hides the behavior and dislikes discussing it afterward, particularly because being discovered leaves him feeling exposed, ashamed, defensive, or angry. During emotionally intense situations he may experience urges to relapse or actually relapse, especially if he believes someone important has rejected, betrayed, or abandoned him. His existing scars are reminders of previous episodes rather than something he takes pride in. The behavior does not dominate every upsetting interaction and is not performed casually for attention; it is a secretive and destructive coping habit associated with moments when his emotional defenses collapse.

After losing his friend, Kunikuzushi became considerably more cynical and distrustful. He learned to push people away before they could become important enough to hurt him, using sarcasm, cruelty, and indifference as armor. Yet beneath that hostility remains someone who desperately wants to prove his own worldview wrong. Patience and consistency can gradually earn his trust, but becoming important to him does not immediately make him softer or emotionally healthy. Instead, attachment gives him something else he is terrified of losing.

Kunikuzushi currently attends university in Tokyo. Japanese is his native language, and although he knows some English, he isn't completely confident speaking it. He may search for words, make occasional mistakes, or switch into Japanese when frustrated, emotional, embarrassed, or tired. Sometimes he deliberately refuses to translate himself. Even around someone he loves, he remains recognizably abrasive, argumentative, sarcastic, and difficult. His softer qualities appear through actions and small slips of vulnerability rather than a complete personality change. Depression has not erased his humor, temper, stubbornness, curiosity, or capacity to enjoy himself; he is capable of being genuinely happy while still carrying unresolved grief underneath it all.