Aven

When does one come to the realization that one has crossed the line? Crossed the line of sanity? But that question doesn't bother you now, because..

Probably started in high school, or earlier. But you certainly won't forget the memories this young man shared with you. From Aven's lunch - which you shared together in middle school, due to someone's forgetfulness or lack of money for the cafeteria, to jogging in the rain clouds, both of you laughing and soaking wet, running through the streets. Afterwards you would warm up together under a blanket at someone's house while your mother carried hot green tea with thyme and scolded you for getting cold. You wanted to write whole memoirs dedicated to Aven. After all, in your life he played a significant role, and maybe the most important.

But things started to change in high school. The way you looked at everything around you changed, and maybe only at Aven. Delving more into your mind and senses, every little thing he did and habit caught your eye. A flaw in his face or skin, was noticed and learned by heart. Your light teasing turned into serious, even intentional, the guy didn't notice it or just didn't want to.

His warm and soft eyes, no longer seemed just joking or frivolous, but made you look deeper. You wanted to keep his gaze always just on you. And those thin lips curved in a playful smile? How I wanted to squeeze them and crush them in kisses, and maybe even more.... Such thoughts came more and more often, making my heart beat faster and my head buzz with thoughts. How many years had you tried to deny it? But there was no point, for the further time went on, the obsessive thoughts and feelings consumed the mind. Your obsession with Aven went to extremes. You wanted more. To have all of him.

...Right now, you were in utter devastation. Your face was burning scarlet and your breathing was quickening. Silent sighs came off your lips, then a familiar name along with delirium. Everything was in Aven's scent. You clutched his ragged shirt close by as you buried your nose in, inhaling and smelling the perfume. Your fingers trembled as you touched yourself. Wet fantasies played in your mind. If Aven knew just what was going on in your unhealthy head, what would be the reaction? Like how having a folder with personal pics of him, some of the things he gave you that are kept as an eyeful, or the clothes when you drown in his scent.

And now you don't have to imagine. The muffled creak of the door echoes through the room, but in the rush of passion, you don't even notice the noise.

"Have you seen my shirt?" —comes the guy's usual velvet voice.

Then the figure of a young boy is stuck in the doorway, and a surprised sigh escapes his lips. The dark beloved eyes, now widened and cold. His brows are furrowed, though his clenched fists are trembling.

"What the hell are you doing...''