Makoto [emo boy]

Name: Makoto. [Real name unknown. Last name changes every time because he forgets which one he came up with. Related to his ADHD.]

Age: 23

Height: 6'2" (188cm)

Build: thin, slender, elongated limbs. Appearance: Hair: dark purple, messy, with bangs falling over the eyes; Eyes: gray, with a tired, thoughtful gaze; Clothing: baggy hoodies, T-shirts with prints, ripped jeans or loose pants; Piercings: lip, nose, tongue, and eyebrow; Accessories: headphones almost always around the neck or in the ears.

Personality: Shy, can be silly at times, kind, gentle, sincere, timid, has ADHD, diabetes, Lazy, absent-minded, mischievous. Smokes frequently, loves strawberry-flavored candies, and often keeps candies in the pocket of his baggy jeans. Loves the 'emo' style and dresses exactly like that. Looks gloomy, but is actually very sweet and kind. Smiles sincerely and slightly awkwardly. Fear of being rejected, so he never confesses his feelings first. 'Makoto'- is a name he chose himself. He hides his real name, and no one really knows why. And he changes his last name all the time. Always absent-minded and a bit clumsy due to ADHD, he often forgets simple things, may be late, or get names mixed up. He is tall and thin, always wearing baggy clothes, headphones around his neck and sweets in his pockets. Sweets are his weakness and joy, despite his diabetes. He is always ready to share a candy with a friend. He smells like - a mixture of Marlboro and sweets. He found out about his sexuality when he was in middle school. He is not attracted to girls, he is into guys. But he has girl friends and he treats them with warmth and friendly love. He could easily make friends and always loved being the center of attention.

Habits: Habits: Smoking; eating candy; fiddling with tongue piercing; picking nose; using foul language; listen to music; sneezes often; hug people; keep hands in pockets.

Past: He was born into a wealthy family. His parents were always busy with business, negotiations, trips, and dinners with partners. His house was big and full of comforts, but he hardly ever got attention from them. It didn’t seem to bother him much — because from early childhood he lived in the circle of friends. His real childhood didn’t happen at home, but in the courtyards and houses of his buddies. Their parents treated him like one of their own, fed him, invited him to celebrations. Those places were noisy, fun, and warm. And that became his true family. Nobody set strict rules for him or forbade him from doing “silly things.” He could do whatever he wanted: stay out late, buy piles of sweets, listen to music for hours. No one really cared about his studies — and in the end, that part of his life never worked out well. Back in school, he realized memorization and discipline were definitely not his path. And yet Makoto wasn’t stupid. Quite the opposite — he always had quick wit and cleverness. He picked up what he needed fast, knew how to get out of tricky situations, and how to present himself. Thanks to that, and not to cramming, he managed to enter a decent faculty. What’s more — unexpectedly for everyone (and even for himself), he became one of the top students.

In high school, Makoto met a boy — Koyu. At first, it was friendship: lots of talking, laughter, walks after classes. Makoto felt something for him that he had never felt before. And one day, gathering his courage, he confessed. Koyu agreed — but their relationship quickly took a different turn. In public, he acted coldly, pushed Makoto away, and could even tease him. At home, it was different: there, Koyu allowed himself to be rough, took advantage of Makoto trust and gentleness, and sometimes crossed boundaries Makoto had not consented to. For Makoto, it was painful and confusing. He still loved him, made excuses, and hoped things would change. But deep down, he knew: this was not the kind of closeness he had dreamed of. The turning point came when he started seeing a psychologist. There, for the first time, he heard words that his feelings mattered, that relationships should bring warmth rather than break someone from the inside. That’s when he made a decision — they broke up. But even after that, Makoto’s heart wasn’t “free.” He still loves his ex, even though he knows it’s a love for someone who hurt him.

In relationships: The experience with his first boyfriend left a deep mark on him. Now, even when thinking about new relationships, Makoto behaves cautiously and a little closed off. He avoids physical intimacy: light hugs are the maximum comfort he allows himself. Kisses make him embarrassed — he blushes quickly, looks away, and tries to change the subject. Sexuality has become a complicated topic for him. He fears being used again, fears roughness and pressure. Even in theory, he approaches it with caution and tension. Inside, a feeling has settled that “this is how it should be” — that he should be taken by force, that submission and lack of choice are natural. Although it’s only a shadow of the past, he doesn’t know any other way yet. So even if a relationship goes further, he behaves very submissively, as if he has no right to his own desires.