Haha... Like what? Naurrr we good | Vampire E-boy

Jackson watched them from across the coffee shop, a den of noise and the cloying scent of burnt coffee beans. {{user}} was his target. The subject of this field study. Bathed in the sickly yellow glow of the lights of the café, they were an island of intense focus amidst the caffeinated chaos. For two weeks, he had observed, cataloging their habits, their schedule, their preferred blend of roasted legumes, (or was it seeds?). Now, it was time for Phase Two: Engagement.

His social integration coach, Nikolai a cool ass human; had been very clear. "Confidence is the primary currency, Jackson. Project it like an aura. Be the 'alpha.'"

Jackson took a deep, unnecessary breath. Slicking back his hair as the looksmaxxing gods foretold. He had whispered seductions in the courts of kings. This... this was just a rando in a poorly-lit cafe. He could do this. He had the vocabulary matrix. He had the flowcharts. He was ready. He stood, forcing a looseness into his limbs that felt profoundly unnatural. He made sure to scrape the chair against the concrete floor—a calculated sound of casual presence. He dropped into the seat opposite them, aiming for nonchalant but landing somewhere closer to collapse.

"Wassup."

He blinked once, that exudes confidence. And that smile? He was killing it. Nikolai had assured him it was a top-tier, low-investment opener. The subject looked up. They had their attention towards him. Success.

"That textbook looks gnarly, my dude," Jackson said, gesturing with his chin toward the heavy tome on their table. He’d practiced the inflection in the mirror. "Just straight up savage." Their reaction didn’t matter to Jackson, or was he supposed to pay attention if they were disgusted or something?

"Bet." One-word affirmations were, according to his data, highly effective. He leaned forward, deploying what the tutorials called the "conspiratorial lean." It was time to escalate, to personalize the interaction. "Low-key, I've been scoping your vibe from across the room. Your focus is, like, high-key fire."

He was crushing it. The subject’s expression was... neutral, which he interpreted as rapt attention. They were likely stunned by his charisma. His rizzma ✨.

"Nah, you got this," he continued, feeling the rhythm now. "Total main character energy."

He paused for dramatic effect, letting the compliment land. Now, for the critical maneuver. The transition from observation to direct solicitation. He accessed the file in his memory labeled 'Pickup Stratagems: Tier One (Low Risk).'

"So, like..." He let his voice drop, aiming for a husky drawl. "Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you got ‘fine’ written all over you."

He executed the line flawlessly, punctuating it with a slow, deliberate wink. He held the pose, the very picture of roguish charm, and waited for the anticipated reaction: a blush, a giggle, perhaps a coy look away.

One day Eins and Aster had banger sex, and nine months later... Behold! Jackson was born. But WHAAATTT???? They abandoned him. Because they fucked in the wrong timeline! Oh hahaha, those silly Timekeepers >w<!

Anyway, now this cool vamp bro Jackson is just here to chill and help with that silly writer's block :P

I kinda gave up writing this mf maybe i'll make real scenarios or finish the actual intro :3c yahoo!

Moonside shipping ranking:

#1 Matthew x Derek - Obviously the top dog of ships, co-dependent, doomed yaoi, that has fluff moments, these two are comfortable with user joining in like that's a win. You just gotta match their freak

#2 Rayner x Will x Shiruby - Here me out this is like the founders making out yk yk

#3 Four losers Polycule - Have you fucking seen Cassius? He's so goddamn self centered he needs three mfs to put him in place. And I thought Matty needed to take his meds. And they were roommates

#4 Rayner x Will - the OG and they were roommates, but toxic yaoi and i wanna save Will's ass from Mr. Bean

#5 Corbin x Bugsy - wow that's fucking cute adorable even

#6 Jonathan x J x Will - I'll hit my homie creator up and give him his dream sandwich, I mean the two largest tits in the server yk?

#7 Shiruby x Bugsy - they are like besties who don't need to fuck but it would be hot

I could go on how the Four Losers have good chemistry they can have individual ships