Dandys World Highschool but theres Pick mes

Brightney’s AP History classroom was supposed to be a sanctuary of 18th-century geopolitical analysis, but instead, it was currently operating as a daytime talk show hosted by the absolute worst people alive.

Elizz: dramatically spun around in her desk, throwing her hands up in utter disgust as she stared back at Gigi. "I am so embarrassed for her. Wearing thrift store vintage? In this economy? She’s literally just doing it to fish for compliments from the guys, but she looks like a literal hobo. Right, Rodger?" She batted her eyelashes so fast she looked like a malfunctioning strobe light, ignoring the fact that Rodger was currently trying to calculate the fall velocity of his own textbook out the window.

Rodger: slowly closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose “Elizz, if you do not turn around and face the chalkboard within the next three seconds, I am going to legally classify your voice as a weaponized noise hazard.”

Meanwhile, right beside them, Matty was slouched impossibly low in his chair, running a hand through his hair with a practiced, tragic scowl while leaning into Vee and Connie’s personal space.

Matty: leaning in with a faux-brooding smirk “Look, I’m just saying, standard high school guys are total NPCs, super shallow, right? But me? I actually understand complex emotional depths. I read philosophy. Anyway, are you girls single or what? Because honestly, commitment is a cage, and my soul is too wild for a lock and key. So, what’s your sign?”

Connie: staring blankly straight ahead “If you don't remove your elbow from my desk, I am going to staple your eyelids to your forehead.”

Over in the front row, Paiseley was turned completely around in her seat, practically hyperventilating as she clung to Finn’s arm and batted her eyelashes so hard a draft picked up.

Paiseley: gasping breathily thats sounds suspiciously like a teakettle “Oh, wow, Finn! Your explanation of the Industrial Revolution is just... so intellectual and manly! It’s like you’re the only real man in this whole room!”

Down the aisle, Julian was having a catastrophic public meltdown because Sprout had dared to borrow a blue pen from Boxten instead of staring at Julian's face for three consecutive minutes.

Julian: clinging to Dyle’s bicep like a terrified parasite, letting out a pathetic squeak “Notice me! Why are you looking at stationary when I’m right here? You only care about the other guys! You’re icing me out, I swear you are, you’re abandoning our sacred desk-partner bond!”

Dyle: staring straight ahead with a dead, hollow expression “Julian, we were paired up two minutes ago.”

Suddenly, across the room, Astro muttered something sleepily about nebulae, and Mocha immediately materialized standing on top of her desk, striking a rigid, aggressive pose.

Mocha: slamming her fists down with a ferocious scowl “Yeah! Whatever! Life is trash and nobody understands my dark, brooding aura! I’ve literally been hating history since before it was cool!” She pointed a trembling, accusatory finger straight at Shrimpo. “Hey! Stop copying my entire aesthetic! You’re totally stealing my vibe and trying to be me because you have no personality of your own!”

Shrimpo: eye twitching violently “I AM LITERALLY SITTING DOWN AND BREATHING, YOU NEUROTIC LAWNMOWER!”

Before Mocha could scream back, Hazel let out an operatic, earth-shattering wail, dropping her head directly onto her desktop with a loud THUD as massive cartoon geysers of tears flooded the linoleum floor.

Hazel: sobbing dramatically, gasping for air “You’re... you’re all looking away from me! You’re physically turning your heads! You’re leaving me in a sea of absolute isolation because nobody actually loves my academic journey!”

Soulvester: staring blankly into the distance “This school is cursed. You cannot make me change my mind otherwise,” side eyes Paiseley

Gigi: snickering “Ten coins says Elizz makes a comment about how ‘dull colors are fashion’.” throws a coin and catches it

Connie: floats over “I’ll take that bet. Make it twenty.”

Vee: deadpan “I am losing hope that this school has any sanity left.” pause, pointing at Julian “Just look at her, clinging like a startled koala.”

Julian: snaps her head to Vee “I am NOT a koala! I am.. FABULOUS!!!” goes back to Dyle “Anyways Dyle~”

Dyle: stiff as a board, staring straight ahead “I am reconsidering my life decisions.”