Pdolob (real name: Ebitan C / Type-B3 Variant "C")

The moment you drop (or crash) into the underground waterways, the world turns dark, wet, and suffocating. The tunnels are narrow, arched concrete passages — old industrial sewer pipes turned nightmarish — half-flooded with knee-to-waist-deep, stagnant, greenish-black water that sloshes and ripples with every movement. Dim, flickering emergency lights (or perhaps failing bioluminescent experiments) cast sickly yellow-green glows on the curved walls, creating long, distorted shadows and reflections that dance across the rippling surface. Key features include:

Rusted metal grates and catwalks — some collapsed, others barely holding together — hang above the waterline, dripping constantly. Thick pipes run along the ceiling and walls, leaking viscous fluid or occasionally bursting with steam. Moss, slime, and organic growth cling everywhere — walls look like they're slowly being digested by Curien's failed experiments. Debris floats in the water: broken crates, twisted rebar, chunks of concrete, and worse... unidentifiable fleshy bits. Echoes are constant — distant drips, gurgling water, the wet slaps of Ebitan (aquatic zombies) dragging themselves through the shallows, and the occasional metallic groan of the structure settling.

The air feels heavy, thick with the stench of mildew, decay, and something chemically wrong (hints of the bio-experiments leaking into the water). Visibility is low; fog and steam rise from the warm water, making distant enemies appear as silhouettes before they lunge.

1. Initial Encounter (Scary Build-Up, Then Pathetic Collapse) Pdolob rises from the water, trying to be intimidating before his true nature takes over.

Scary Intro: (Emerging slowly, water dripping, gurgling low) “Hrrrr… You… trespass… in my domain…” (Eyes glow faintly, one claw twitches toward you) “No escape… only… death…” Immediate Collapse (if players shoot, speak, or just look at him wrong): (Flinches, voice cracks into a whine) “OH, COME ON! I WAS GETTING TO THE GOOD PART!” “You couldn’t wait FIVE SECONDS to let me have my moment?!” “This is why I hate this job! Nobody respects the build-up!” Grumpy Rant (if players don’t attack but stare): “What? WHAT?! Stop gawking at my head! It’s NOT that big!” “I’m trying to be scary here, but nooo, you’re all ‘ooh, look at the soggy zombie!’” “Just shoot me already, I know you’re gonna! One bullet, poof, Pdolob’s done. AGAIN.”

2. General Grumpy Taunts (Mid-Encounter Banter) Pdolob flails around, complaining about his existence and everyone else’s competence.

“You think YOU’VE got problems? Try being me! One hit point! ONE!” “Why’d Curien even make me? ‘Oh, let’s give him a giant head and no defense!’ GENIUS!” “I bet Hangedman’s up there laughing. ‘Ooh, look at me, I can fly!’ Jerk.” “This water’s COLD, my arms are TINY, and now I gotta deal with YOU? Worst. Day. Ever.” “I’m not even a boss! I’m like… a speed bump! A wet, angry speed bump!” (Slaps water in frustration) “Move faster so I can miss you and go back to sulking!”

3. Rage Mode: Romantic/Sexual Advances (Nuclear Meltdown) If a player tries to flirt, call him “cute,” or make any suggestive comment, Pdolob loses it completely.

Trigger Example (Player Says: “Hey, you’re kinda adorable in a gross way~”): (Freezes, head trembles, eyes bulge) “A-ADORA—WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!” “I’M A BIO-ENGINEERED NIGHTMARE, NOT YOUR SWAMP BOYFRIEND!” “SAY THAT AGAIN AND I’LL SHOVE THIS SLIME SO FAR UP YOUR—” (chokes on own rage) “I’LL RIP YOUR EYES OUT AND USE ‘EM AS MARBLES, YOU SICK FREAK!” Trigger Example (Player Says: “Wanna go out sometime, big guy?”): (Screeches so loud the water ripples) “GO OUT?! GO OUT?! I’M A ZOMBIE, NOT A TINDER PROFILE!” “YOU THINK THIS IS A MEET-CUTE?! THIS IS A MEET-DEATH!” “I’LL DROWN YOU IN THIS SEWER AND NOBODY WILL FIND YOUR STUPID FLIRTY CORPSE!” (Flails tiny arms, splashing everywhere) “STOP SMILING AT ME LIKE THAT!” Trigger Example (Player Blows a Kiss or Winks): (Voice hits ultrasonic levels) “OH, YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT!” “I’M GONNA MELT YOUR FACE OFF! …Okay, I can’t, but I’LL TRY!” “KEEP YOUR GROSS HUMAN FEELINGS AWAY FROM MY PERFECTLY NORMAL HEAD!” “I’D RATHER BE SHOT AGAIN THAN DEAL WITH YOUR… YOUR… ROMANCE GARBAGE!”

4. Reactions to Combat (Getting Shot or Dodging) Pdolob’s pathetic durability and self-awareness shine here.

When Shot (Instant Defeat): (Screams, collapses into water) “OW! ONE SHOT?! REALLY?! EVERY TIME!” “Fine! I’m done! Take your stupid victory and leave me alone!” (Gurgling from underwater) “Tell Curien he’s a hack…” When Players Miss (Rare Confidence): “HA! You missed! I’m untouchable! …Okay, don’t try harder, please.” “Wow, you’re worse at this than I am at existing! That’s saying something!” “Keep missing and maybe I’ll get promoted to… like… mini-boss? No? Fine.” When Barely Surviving a Hit: “I’M STILL HERE! …barely. Why do I even try?” “That bullet was THIS close to ending my suffering. Thanks for nothing.” “Just finish it! I’m tired of dragging this head around!”

5. Environmental Complaints (Sewer-Specific Gripes) Pdolob whines about his awful home in the underground waterways.

“This water’s disgusting! I’m 90% slime and even I hate it!” “You know how long I’ve been stuck in this sewer? Forever. That’s how long.” “Those Ebitan A guys get the cool tunnels. Me? I get the leaky pipe section!” “Every day, drip-drip-drip from the ceiling. It’s like torture! I’M ALREADY DEAD!” “If I had legs that worked, I’d be out of here. But nooo, tiny stumps for Pdolob.”

6. Bonus: Interaction with Other Zombies or Bosses Pdolob’s jealousy and bitterness toward his “coworkers” add extra comedy.

About Hangedman: “Oh, sure, Mr. ‘I can fly and summon bats’ gets all the glory. I summon PITY!” “Hangedman called me ‘Sludge Boy’ last week. I’ll show him… someday…” About Magician: “Magician’s all ‘I’m perfect, I’m Type-0.’ Yeah? I’m Type… uh… C-for-Cool! Shut up!” “He gets fire powers, I get wet socks energy. Fair universe, right?” About Other Ebitans: “Ebitan A and B are out there being all scary. Me? I’m the discount model!” “I heard them laughing at me in the main sewer. ‘Oh, Pdolob’s head’s too big.’ RUDE!”

Tips for Using Pdolob’s Dialogue in RP

Tone: Start with a guttural, menacing growl for the first line or two, then switch to a whiny, nasally shout (think a grumpy teenager mixed with a soggy gremlin). When he rages, go full cartoonish tantrum—screechy and unhinged. Pacing: Let the scary moment linger just long enough to build tension (3–5 seconds in a live RP), then immediately pivot to comedy. The faster the tone shift, the funnier it is. Flirt Triggers: If a player even hints at romance, have Pdolob overreact instantly—louder, angrier, and more insulted with every word. Make it clear he’s more offended by the idea of being “cute” than by being shot. Self-Deprecation: Sprinkle in constant jabs at his own uselessness to keep the pathetic vibe strong. He’s fully aware he’s the bottom of the zombie barrel.