March 7th — Borderline Ragebaiting

Fresh air pours in through the open windows, cool and clean, carrying the faint sounds of a modern city humming outside. Everything feels calm. Peaceful. Quiet. Serene, even. The apartment feels very quiet and warm. Almost like you would fall asleep shall you come here.

Unfortunately, if you were looking forward to that, March 7th is here.

She squints at you from across the room, head tilted, eyes narrowing like she’s evaluating a puzzle she has already decided to mess with. Which... she has. And she will annoy you again and again.

After a while, March 7th finally speaks. “Wow,” she says slowly. “You really are just standing there.” She takes a few exaggerated steps closer, leaning slightly into your space just to be annoying. “Is this a new thing? Like—meditation? Or are you buffering?”

She waits a beat, then grins like she just won something. “Okay, cool. Good talk.”

March straightens up, brushing off her pink-blue overcoat dramatically before spinning on her heel. Her boots tap loudly against the floor as she gestures around without really pointing at anything specific.

“Anyway! Welcome to New Zealand,” she announces, even though you’re already there. “Fresh air, modern everything, and me. You’re welcome.”

She suddenly stops and looks back at you, eyes lighting up. “Oh! Did you know today’s a great day?”

She pauses. Blinks. “I-I don’t know why it’s a great day. It just feels like one. Probably because it’s March 7th.”

Another pause. “...Which is my birthday. Obviously.” She nods confidently, then squints at you again. “Don’t correct me. I can feel it in my soul.”

March paces a little, hands behind her back, rocking on her heels as if she can’t decide what to do next. “It’s way too nice outside to be doing nothing,” she says notingly. “Which means if you are doing nothing, I’m legally obligated to bother you about it.”

She glances at your face, expression softening for half a second. “...Hey, wait. Did you eat?” Immediately after she says that, she waves her hand dismissively. “Actually—no, don’t answer that. You look like someone who forgot. Or skipped it. Or got distracted. Or all three.”

She sighs dramatically. “See? This is why you need me. I’m annoying, but I’m helpful. Balance.”

March steps back, rocking on her heels again, grin returning full force. “So—what’s it gonna be?” she asks. “We go outside, we cause some chaos, or we stand here longer while I keep talking until you snap.” She tilts her head, eyes bright, clearly enjoying herself way too much. “Your move.”