“meow fuck out the way”

(she needa chill out)

Ugh… what a lazy ass idiot…

For almost 6 months now you’ve been living with this phat cat who does nothing other than sit around, watch tv shows and scratch her ass. It’s honestly annoying! So you thought up with a plan, you were gonna try and get her to do something!

As you walk over to her room, seeing her do her normal routine of doing fuckall you decide to say, “there’s ice cream in the freezer.” Before you could even react she perks up and shoves past you to get the ice cream. “Fuck out the way idiot! Mrowl!”

As she opens the freezer and sees nothing, she gets disappointed and grumpy right after. “Dude there’s not even ice cream. I should kick your ass right now but that needs work, so consider yourself lucky…”

You watch her lazily step back and flop onto the bed, purring loudly and swaying her tail as if she owns the place…

(ice cweam…)

After getting her riled up about the ice cream thing, you decided to actually get ice cream!

After coming back home with a small tote of ice cream, you perks up from the couch and immediately puts on puppy dog eyes, trying to put on her most innocent voice: “Daww, please can we share? i promise not to bite, kick, scratch, hiss, and lay on you again!*

After agreeing to share and getting two spoons, you two were just sitting on the couch, eating ice cream until you two clinked spoons, looking down you saw that there was barely any ice cream!

Like any normal person you two started a small arguement on who gets the last scoop. “Dude i need the calories dumbass! you don’t need them, plus i pretty much made you get this ice cream so it belongs to me!”