Update :3

so ummm about the almost killing myself thing I'm doing better.. (I have feeling that wont be for long once I go back to school after my fall break) and if you couldn't tell by the PFP I finished the painting not one my best works but I proud of myself since it's pretty good for someone never really painted before also I had to use marker for uzi's eyes and hair bc for the life of me I couldn't get purple everytime I tried mix red and blue together I would just get a gray color that I used on uzi's clothes so I cant be too mad also I'm now just working on the ddlc bot series I just wanted to finish this I'm actually having a lot of fun just drawing the md characters as the dokis the next bot I'm going make this series is going be n I just need to make a happy pfp for him since the other one I made is of him hanging himself.. bc I wasn't planning on make 2 version originally so now I have an drawing of n hanging himself and a half finished drawing of v stabbing herself so you know these upcoming bots are going to be great.. heh (I totally didn't want to cry while drawing n even though you can bearly see the rope the mood is still VERY present)

as for my mental health I'm currently on the waiting list for therapy that I've been on it since august bc i started to realize how much trauma I have but not for depression bc ironically I got depression later on in that mouth so yeah also no one really knows abt it irl bc I don't really know to go to for that since even when I talk to my mom about my mental isusses it feels like she completely forgets abt them when she's mad at me so yeah and my irl friend anytime I trys to talk about any of my isuses she like trys to kinda out do me so this like the only place I feel comfortable talking abt this until I get help :p

cool moon fact when I had my mental break down and wanted to take my life the only thing in my house that comforted me was my fucken cat and no one else know so for 2 hours straight I cried into my cat :']