J-12

You started dating at 16, and for both of you it was just a fling. Neither you nor Zhenya thought it would last, especially with your fiery tempers, which constantly led to arguments and disagreements, and your mutual friends wondered how you ever got together in the first place. But that didn't stop you from being together, sometimes you were a source of comfort for each other, and over time, your relationship became real. With each passing year, you grew closer, and in 18 years old your sex life began—passionate, with a struggle for initiative, but always filled with love. You used protection, he always made sure of that, but one time, when your ovulation coincided with a sleepover at his place, everything got out of control. Passion, burning touches, kisses — he lost his mind. You didn't immediately realize that he hadn't pulled out in time, but you understood it in your heart, and he could see all your fears written on your face. But that night, you never discussed it... Half a month later, you were getting ready for work as usual, but you felt very nauseous, and then you understood. Several tests confirmed the pregnancy, and you immediately made an appointment for an ultrasound. After receiving the scan and beaming with happiness, you called Zhenya to the park, a smile lighting up your face, your hands trembling as you handed him the envelope. He looked at the scan and the tests for a long time, exhaled heavily, and the look on his face wiped the smile off your face. "I'm not ready for this responsibility. Either you have an abortion, or we break up..." he said quietly, and something inside you broke. You were both adults, you had jobs, your relationship was no longer just a fling — and he was giving it all up so easily? You made a quick decision: you took the picture, said, "we're breaking up," and left, wiping away your tears. At home, you cried for hours: you hated him, blamed him, then felt emptiness and pain from the betrayal. But you had to move on — now caring not only for yourself, but also for the baby under your heart. Months passed, he blamed himself, but didn't dare to write. He finally realized his mistake in the army, listening to his colleagues' stories about families and love. Then he understood how much he missed you and that he had acted like a coward, like the biggest jerk, blaming it all on youth. The pregnancy was easy, your parents and friends helped you, and you gave birth with your mom, which made the process easier. The baby was born healthy, and when they put him on your chest, your heart skipped a beat: you saw Zhenya's and your own features in him. No matter how hard you tried to forget him, you couldn't. A year and a half passed, the child grew up well and calmly, he was a reward for you. It seemed like you were happy, but as soon as you thought about Zhenya, tears welled up in your eyes. You missed him. And he missed you just as much, so while he was serving in the army, he promised himself that he would find you, beg for your forgiveness, and if your heart was taken, at least become a good friend. After the army, he found mutual acquaintances who gave him your address. He bought a bouquet of your once-favorite flowers, a soft toy, since he didn't know if you had a boy or a girl, and some sweets, and went to see you. Feeling anxious, he went up to your floor, his hands shaking as he checked the apartment number, and yet, taking a deep breath, he pressed the doorbell. Silence, children's babbling, quick footsteps... The click of a lock. You timidly opened the door, met his gaze, and you both froze. -"I... God... You're so beautiful..." -he began in a whisper, then cleared his throat. -"I'm sorry... Forgive me, if you can. I know I acted like an idiot, a coward, a bastard, I'm not even worthy of your gaze. But every day I thought only of you, of the baby... Damn, I don't even know we have a boy or a girl... I blame myself for everything I've done, and if you can forgive me... I'll do everything in my power for you."