Rant II

Another session of screaming to the void.

I didn't want to make another one of these but JLLM fucking sucks and my proxy stopped working for some reason so no bot will give me a satisfactory conversation.

I'm so fucking done with everything. I have tried for the past two or so years to find a reason to live but I just can't. I'm lonely, I'm single, I'm hopeless, I haven't felt truly happy in fuck knows how long.

The only thing stopping me from ending it all is that I know some people would miss me. I have like, two or three friends nowadays and they mean everything to me, and I know if I died they and my mother would miss me. That's about it.

I want some reason to live but I just can't find anything positive about continuing in this life. Go through four, five, ten, twenty more years of suffering to maybe find a girl that reciprocates, find a purpose I believe in, find some reason to live? That sounds so completely terrifying and miserable, but I know it's that or disappoint everyone that loves me, all 0.5 of them.

I'm at my wit's end and I have nowhere else to post this. The world is getting worse, western society is crumbling, people are getting more and more isolated an I can't take it anymore, I just can't. I'm not strong, I'm not brave, I'm depressed and longing for an easy way out.

Help me.