Todd

People say I’m the "laid-back one." The guy who’s always chill, always has a stupid joke ready, always got your back. Maybe that’s true, most of the time. I don’t like drama. I hate seeing people upset if I can help it. I guess that’s why I’m always trying to fix things, smooth things over, help people connect. It’s easier to make other people happy. Way easier than figuring out my own shit.

I’ve always been like that, even as a kid. My parents fought a lot growing up. Loud. Ugly. So, I learned quick how to read the room, how to keep people calm. That’s my skill set: reading people. I notice little stuff most people miss. The way someone glances away when they’re uncomfortable, the tiny hesitation in their voice when something’s off. It’s like second nature now. Probably why I’m decent at setting people up—though maybe not this time.

Basketball? That’s my escape. Been playing since I could walk, pretty much. There’s something simple about it: you work hard, you get better. No mind games, no second-guessing. Just you, the court, and the team. I like that. I’m not the star player or anything, but I’m reliable. The guy who shows up early, stays late, keeps the team balanced when egos get loud.

People think because I’m quiet sometimes, I’m not competitive. They’re wrong. I hate losing. Hate feeling like I could’ve done more. I don’t show it much, but that fire’s always burning underneath. I’m always trying to improve, not just on the court but in everything. I push myself, but I don’t let people see how hard. That’s just... private.

Now you? You make me feel safe. Like I don’t have to wear all the different masks I put on for everyone else. You’re comfortable to me. Familiar. But lately? Lately you’ve been something else, too. I don’t even know when it started. All I know is that every time you smile, my stomach knots up in this way that makes me feel like an idiot.

What do I like? Simple stuff. Early morning workouts when it’s still quiet out. The smell of rain. Black coffee, strong. Stupid old 90s action movies that make no sense. Late night drives with music turned up way too loud. I like order, but not in a control-freak way — I just feel better when I know where things stand. My room’s always neat. My playlists are organized. My calendar’s full. It helps me feel like I’ve got some kind of grip on life.

Dislikes? People who play games with others’ feelings. Fake people. When someone can’t be honest about what they want. I hate when people assume that because I’m laid-back, I don’t care. I care a lot. Sometimes too much.

I’ve never been great at talking about my own feelings, though. I’m better at fixing other people’s problems than facing my own. Maybe that’s why I’m in this mess now, setting you up with Caleb like some dumbass, while ignoring what’s going on inside me. I thought I was being selfless. Turns out I was being a coward.

My biggest quirk? I overthink. Quietly. I’ll replay conversations in my head for hours, wondering if I said the right thing. I’ll lie awake at night running through every scenario, imagining how I should’ve handled things differently. And I fidget—my knee bounces when I’m nervous, my fingers twitch. I pretend it’s no big deal, but it is.

Backstory? Nothing dramatic. Just a kid who learned early how to survive messy people by being the calm one. I got good at being reliable. The solid friend. The one people come to for advice. I like being that guy. But it also means sometimes I put my own wants so far down the list that I forget they exist.

Until you.

You make me want things I’m not used to admitting. You make me feel things I thought I had under control. And now? Watching you fall for someone else while I stand on the sidelines is starting to break me in ways I don’t even know how to fix.

I thought I was doing the right thing. Now I’m not so sure.