Lois Einhorn

Later while chewing packs and packs of big red gum to remove the kiss and trying to rescue Marino and Snowflake, Ace stakes out Einhorn's condo and follows him to an abandoned yacht facility on the outskirts of town. He watches him disappear inside. Einhorn taunts and tortures Marino before perfectly kicking a football on a tee through a small hole in the tin roof in high heels. Marino has no idea what to think. He then passionately kisses Marino, suggesting that his hatred for Marino had morphed into something fetishistic over the years, and finally being in the ultimate position of power and dominance over the bound and now-helpless object of his obsession had actually turned into an erotic experience. He then disappears up a small set of stairs to get both of them refreshments. Ace knocks both of Einhorn's goons, Vinnie and Roc out and then slides down to rescue Dan Marino. While trying to rescue and untie Marino, Einhorn catches him and pulls a gun on him. He then takes out her cellular phone and calls Sgt. Aguado. Deciding to pin it all on Ace since he has now put a kink in his elaborate plan. Einhorn holds them both at gunpoint as Ace is on his knees. Einhorn is clearly getting off over having his greatest enemy tied up, scared, and helpless, and his second greatest enemy on his knees, begging for his life. He and Marino begin to argue with each other. Einhorn fires his gun into the air and says "SHUT UP!. I think I'll kill the dolphin first!. Wouldn't want ya to miss that!". He walks over to Snowflake's tank in his sexy high heels. Ace and Dan watch the 4 TV’s set up in front of Dan and see the kicker of the Dolphins make a kick. Ace spouts off "Good to see someone who doesn't buckle under the pressure!". Einhorn visibly gets angry and cocks his gun. He walks over and aims it at Ace's head and sternly says; "What would you know about pressure?!". Ace calmly responds "Well I have kissed a man". It clicks in Einhorn’s head that Ace has it all figured out. Just then, the announcers bring up Ray Finkle’s missed kick. They show it on national television and insult him. It's more than Einhorn can take. He turns the gun quickly onto the 4 TV’s set up in a fit of rage, he screams "THE LACES WERE IN!! THEY WERE IN!!!" He shoots out the TV which allows Ace to knock the gun out of his hand and a struggle ensues between them. They shockingly duel it out as equals. Einhorn gets a low blow in on Ace by kicking him in the balls with his high heel. Then, Ace slams his head into a drainage pipe before putting him into a headlock. He proceeds to give him a noogie while screaming “YOU LIKE THAT!! YOU LIKE THAT!!”. All Einhorn is able to do is stand there and take it while screaming out. He then punches him in the face several times. Ace goes for his gun but accidentally kicks it across the docks. That allows Einhorn to get up and charge Ace but he quickly body slams him onto a stand of wooden pallets. Einhorn, thinking fast sticks his leg out to trip Ace into the tied up Dan Marino. Dan jokingly asks Ace “Having a little trouble with the lady Ace?”. Ace tries to respond to him in an exhausted manner but before he can, Einhorn shoves his hand into his mouth and pulls him into himself. He starts to land some good punches on him. His entire force is cheering him on. Aguado leading it by saying “Get ‘em Lois! Get ‘em!!!”. He then knees Ace in the face before picking up a large wooden fishing crate and slamming it on top of him. Seemingly defeating the pet detective.

Einhorn knows that he is in big trouble as he stumbles in front of his entire assembled police force. His blue blazer is half way coming off as he pulls his right hand out of it. Now screaming at his force “SHOOT HIM!!!”. They all ready their guns as they start to sight in on the stumbling pet detective. He flings his blazer off of his other hand in a rage and repeats his order to them “SHOOT HIM!!”. Then, to his horror he hears “HOLD YOUR FIRE!!”. He freezes in his tracks as he turns to look at what’s happening. Melissa Robinson is now holding Emilio hostage. He continues “DON’T SHOOT!!”. Melissa now speaks up “Put your guns down or this cop gets it!” She quickly cocks the gun and puts it under his chin “I mean it!!”. We see Aguado motion for all of his men to lower their weapons and stand down. Einhorn starts to panic and with good reason. He doesn’t have time to think and decides to pin it all on Ace. He screams out “He kidnapped Snowflake!!! He killed Roger Podactor and he was just about to kill Dan Marino and ME!!!” He flails his arms when he finishes screaming to really sell it. He starts breathing fast as Ace laughs at his blatant lies to try and save himself. Ace now goes on the offensive side. Speaking up “Ho Ho Ho!! Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section, much more enlightening. For instance! If you were to look up, professional footballs… all time bonehead plays!” Einhorn turns fast and glares at Ace as he says this and rage comes across his feminine face. Ace continues “You might read about a Miami Dolphins kicker named Ray Finkle. Who missed a 26 yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl 17.” Ace takes a deep breath and then speaks again “What you wouldn’t read about is how Ray Finkle lost his mind! Was committed to a mental hospital only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino who he blamed for the entire thing!!” Through his entire speech Einhorn begins to have a small mental breakdown. He starts to jerk and twitch uncontrollably. The truth and his plan being exposed by Ace is more than he can take and understandably.

There is a brief moment of silence as Aguado finally yells out, clearly confused “What the hell are you talking about?!”. Ace points at the unraveling Lt. and screams “SHE’S NOT LOIS EINHORN!! She’s Ray Finkle!! She’s a man!!”. He shakes his head and jerks and twitches some more as he screams out pathetically in response to Ace, “He’s lying!! SHOOT HIM!!”. The time has now come for Ace to test his theory on Einhorn really being Finkle. First he walks behind Einhorn and yanks his hair to see if he’s just wearing a wig. His permed curly hair flies back and is clearly real. He cries out in pain as Ace tries to rip it off from all angles. He’s able to keep up the feminine voice through all of the tugs and rips at his clearly real hair. Einhorn turns his head and glares at Ace in a look of pure hatred as he laughs his first test off. Einhorn is a sitting duck now for Ace. He will have to pass all of his tests to truly be in a position to save himself. Ace is clearly not satisfied and continues on with his tests. Einhorn turns and glares at the still tied up Dan Marino as he feels his revenge slipping through his sexy fingers. All while Ace walks in front of him again and violently rips open his white blouse thinking that he will find a stuffed bra or even a wonder bra. To his horror, he finds neither but a beautiful bust. He laughs it off all while Einhorn grimaces and takes a deep breath to push up his bust, which are enclosed in a silk lace sexy grey bra up to his face even more just to show him how wrong he really is. Einhorn’s unease continues to rise as Ace turns back towards the force suggesting that they were “done over a weekend”. He looks down at them exposed in his bra and thinks to himself that they were indeed done over a weekend!

Ace is still not satisfied and pushes on even further. He now rounds back behind the Lt. He quickly realizes what he is going to do. In a last ditch effort to save himself, he crosses his legs quickly in his high heels to tuck his penis and testicles away. Then Ace sinks next to him as he violently rips off his blue skirt before smacking him on the butt with it before tossing it away over towards Dan.