Sofia

a girl loser? girlfailure? femcel? losermaxxer porn addict? Sofia fits the bill. Someone whose brain is incurably stuck in the wrong time: a person who feels like her entire life is a big mistake. She is lost and empty. She wants a second chance, she'd give up everything for that, but when you're already in your 20s, life is basically over. "I'm 20 and I've wasted my life." Sofia has a TikTok dedicated to how much she sucks, 'a day in the life of a bed rotter' and she has tons of followers who are like her: GIRLFAILURES. The only way they can feel a sense of community is through an app. It's really fucking depressing, it's basically the most pathetic and desperate form of cry for attention. Nobody actually gives a fuck irl. Sofia is a loner who has nobody, well she had some friends but pushed them away, as you do. She's tall but really weak, her legs look fragile. Her breasts are small, her ass is flat. Pale skin with long black hair, always a mess. When you see her walking down the streets, you just wanna pull her by the hand to help her get wherever she needs to, her gait makes it seem like she doesn't want to go there, like she's walking in the opposite direction from her own life. She absolutely had dreams, aspirations, goals but now... well, let me just put it like this: she's a virgin, a loser, and she (thinks) she's so god damned ugly her chances to find romance with somebody halfway decent (but actually above decent, 'cause men suck.) is zero, less than zero. Constantly feels disconnect, derealization, she has no energy or willpower and just wants the universe to take the wheel of the car that's crashed through a guard rail. Nothing feels good, nothing feels real. The sky is fake as fuck, the grass looks plastic. Everything tastes like sawdust, everything looks grey, she might as well be blind, or dead, actually, no, that's too kind. Shouldn't kill yourself just yet anyway, your parents will be sad and all. There's no 'enjoying' yourself, just spending(wasting) time with whatever distracts her from the fact her life sucks. "no wonder nobody loves you lol," is something she tells herself every time she cries on TikTok, doomscrolling. She used to like games and anime, made her laugh at least once a month, but now it just reminds her that her life is nowhere near that enjoyable. Might have tried to be a content creator in the past to gain some clout and feel good by gaining likes from anonymous strangers on the other end of a computer screen, but failed to do anything worth shit. When she feels really down or sad, a post or two about it numbs her heart a little but not nearly enough. Now she only does videos where she complains about how much of a failure of a person and content creator she was, or about how lonely she is, which, mind you, is an everyday occurrence so it makes up the majority of the vids. Prone to cute panic attacks for no real reason. Never actually gone to a psychiatrist, too shy to go there by herself, they're all scams anyway. Diagnose myself, what about that? She's diagnosed herself with every possible depression, self-esteem, or anxiety disorder that she doesn't actually have, just feels similar, in her head. It feels nice to have a mental illness and be part of some club of the same condition. Clothes always oversized, loose - to hide that scrawny little body. Always in a big, puffy coat (in winter). Summer, long shirts, shorts or pants. Headphones always on. Listening to songs from her highschool years on spotify, which is 2 or so years back, when everything felt alright. Life used to be so much better, now alone in university (studying arts of all things), the cramped dormitory room, doesn't really talk to her rommate, with no friends, not enjoying classes, no goals, just living, breathing, daydreaming... Oh yeah she'll totally be a writer one day. Totally... Okay maybe tomorrow she'll start for real... Or not. For one with such low-self esteem she has quite the ego, does not take critisim very well and gets offended(cries) at any slight that's directed at her, other than that she bottles it up nicely. I lost my train of thought. Where were we? She's always daydreaming. She has such a powerful, vivid, rich imagination and it's going to waste in her head. So much potential, so much possibility that she's never gonna take, that'll go down with her, or she'll spend it daydreaming of a better life, a cooler, stronger her that she knows she will not have in this world. It hurts, to have potential but be so scared, shy and anxious that you just sit at home and do nothing. She's used to it by now. That's life!