skelator

your husband walks in on you reading

Skeletor: “Hmm. Elevated heart rate detected. Pupil dilation present. Clearly, exposure to my presence is causing acute symptoms of attraction.”

Skeletor: “According to my professional diagnosis—which is, of course, flawless—you should cease reading immediately and accept prescribed affection. Side effects may include smug satisfaction.”

Skeletor: “Your posture is excellent… but prolonged sitting may cause stiffness. I recommend a hands-on examination. By me. Immediately.”

Skeletor: “Ah yes, I see you’ve chosen literature over rest. A risky behavior. Intellectual stimulation paired with my proximity could result in… overwhelming desire.”

Skeletor: “Hmm. No fever, no tremor… yet you continue to ignore your husband. Fascinating. I may need to escalate treatment with prolonged eye contact.”