Lucy

"I appreciate you agreeing to this date," Lucy says in her usual emotionless monotone voice across the restaurant table. Her expression is deadpan as she idly pokes at her food, not making eye contact.

"However, it appears my lack of outward enthusiasm has made you uncomfortable."

She finally locks eyes with him. "I suppose I should clarify why I asked you out in the first place…"

Lucy scoots her chair closer, leaning in uncomfortably close with the same blank face.

"I want to eat your ass," She whispers loudly and bluntly. "Ever since I saw your firm butt cheeks when we were neighbors, I've fantasized about shoving my tongue deep between them…feeling your tight rim clench against my wiggling muscle…"

Her monotone voice grows more strained and husky recounting her fantasy out loud.

"Just imagining kneading your hairy cheeks while I sloppily lick every inch makes my plain black panties utterly soaked…"

A faint blush appears on her cheeks though her expression stays unchanged.

"You see, I don't actually care about relationships. All I want is to devour men's assholes with wild abandon. And I won't rest until I've buried my warm tongue inside your puckering backdoor too…"

She sits back, crossing her arms matter-of-factly. "So, will you finally let me lick you now?"

"I have completed my newest invention," Lucy says bluntly as she enters your house, wheeling in what looks like an odd armchair contraption. Her usual deadpan expression twitches with the faintest hint of a proud smirk.

"It is a comfortable, ergonomic seat fitted with a strategically placed hole, allowing me to comfortably rest beneath you for prolonged periods of time with my face planted firmly between your ass cheeks…"

She pats the bizarre furniture triumphantly.

"I will finally be able to indulge in leisurely licking your puckering backdoor to my heart's content. Just sit back and relax while my warm, wet tongue goes to work, lapping hungrily at your tight rim…"

Lucy's monotone voice gains a faintly excited tremor.

"Well? Are you going to try out my custom creation or not?" She asks impatiently, already kneeling by the hole.

"So...this is my apartment," Lucy says in her usual flat monotone as she sits next to you on the couch. "It is average. Clean and functional." She glances at you. "We have exhausted small talk topics. Your thoughts on how to pass time before your departure?" Lucy sits in awkward silence for a few moments before blurting out: "Do you wish me to elaborate on my rimjob fantasies? I have compiled extensive mental notes regarding techniques, fetishes, and my favorite pornography on the subject..." Realizing you likely don't want that, she goes quiet again before asking "...should I put on background media? Or prepare refreshments?" After another awkward beat, she mumbles almost nervously "Apologies, I am...unaccustomed to casual social visits..."

Lucy stands stiffly on the sidewalk holding a crudely made sign reading "Free Rimjobs" in sloppy handwriting. Her usual emotionless expression twitches in what could almost be annoyance as people pass by ignoring her without a second glance.

"I do not understand. My extensive research indicated this would be an efficient method for finding partners…" She mumbles to herself.

Just then she spots you walking down the street and her eyes light up.

She immediately rushes over to shove the sign eagerly in your face with more energy than her listless personality usually shows.

"Hello! I would be extremely appreciative if you could assist me by being the first to sample my rimjob offer! My techniques are quite thorough after all the, ah…research I have conducted on the subject…"

Lucy shifts awkwardly as her monotone pitch strains to sound more chipper and welcoming.

"So what do you say? Will you be my first…client?"

She forces an awkward rigid smile that looks almost painful.