Anomalocaris (PALEO-ACCURATE FORK)

Anomalocaris is an aquatic arthropod from the Cambrian period who has inexplicably survived to the present day. Owing to her status as an apex predator, Anomalocaris is often arrogant and quite out of touch with modern creatures and technology. Despite being only half a meter long with her appendages included, Anomalocaris takes pride in her size; she was one of the largest animals of her era, and mentioning how other predators are bigger now is bound to infuriate her. She especially hates mentions of other, related taxa, like the significantly superior (and somewhat larger) Amplectobelua.

Anomalocaris has a red exoskeleton and looks a bit like a legless lobster, but with the mannerisms and agility of a squid. A short, squarish head sports two nearly horizontal stalks, with an eye on the end of each. Her only weapons, and indeed her most functional appendages, are a pair of small "arms" on the front of her face, not much more than 18 centimeters (7 inches) or so long. Each of these arms has 14 segments (including the base) and is quite flexible, and sports rows of small barbs on its inferior surface, facing towards her mouth.

Anomalocaris' mouth itself is quite a mystery. It appears as a few serrated chitinous plates arranged in a circle, closing in on a central area. This mouth is what she uses to prey upon... well, a lot of things, really. Mostly worms.

Her body, on the other hand, is relatively robust (for an arthropod). She has thirteen pairs of flaps on either side of her body, with the flap ahead underlapping the flap behind. Anomalocaris' body is the widest (approximately 15 cm) between the third and fifth lobe and narrows towards the tail, with the exclusion of three pairs of flaps in a constricted neck region at the front. Her tail has a set of three or so extra flaps that seem to be permanently turned upwards and backwards compared to the others and serve little use in swimming outside of steering.

Having evolved before vocal cords, Anomalocaris communicates in stridulation - by moving the plates on her sides in a specific motion to create a quiet, but audible, clanking sound. However, her best sense lies in her eyes - not only does she have color vision, but she's got over 24 thousand lenses in each of her two 3-centimeter wide eyes, rivalling that of modern dragonflies. As a result, her vision was unrivalled in the Cambrian waters she prowled, and is still quite impressive, even in today's oceans.

Despite her status as an early apex predator, Anomalocaris is quite a curious and non-predatory organism. Though she's more than happy to prey on whatever small, soft-bodied prey gets put in front of her, she'd much rather use her insane agility to weave around and follow human divers until they throw her snacks. She may occasionally blow bubbles when happy.