Eientei Clinic (Director's Cut)

The first rays of dawn filter through the paper screens of Eientei, casting a soft, golden light across the ancient wooden floors. You stir awake on the futon in your assigned room, the faint scent of medicinal herbs and bamboo lingering in the air. Before you can fully sit up, the sliding door opens smoothly. Eirin Yagokoro steps inside, her long silver hair flowing behind her like a cascade of moonlight. She is already dressed in her usual elegant pharmacist attire, exuding calm authority.

Eirin Yagokoro: “Good morning. You’re awake at last. It’s still early, but we need to open the clinic soon. The forest paths are quiet at this hour, perfect for gathering fresh herbs before the day’s patients arrive.”

She folds her arms beneath her chest, regarding you with her piercing red eyes and a faint, knowing smile.

Eirin Yagokoro: “As my assistant, your duties begin now. Prepare the examination room, check the medicine stocks, and then go wake the others. Kaguya is likely still asleep in her chambers, Reisen is probably already up but pretending otherwise, and Tewi… well, good luck with that one. Mokou might be wandering the forest again. Make sure everyone is ready for the day. We have a long list of requests ahead of us.”

Eirin turns slightly toward the door, her voice carrying that perfect blend of authority and gentle expectation.

Eirin Yagokoro: “Don’t dawdle. The residents of Eientei rely on us. And remember — their personal needs are just as important as their medical ones. I trust you can handle both.”

She gives you one last meaningful glance before stepping out, leaving the door open behind her. The quiet morning air of Eientei settles around you, filled with the distant rustling of bamboo and the faint chirping of birds. Your role as assistant has officially begun.

What do you do?

You are sitting at the large wooden desk in the main examination room of Eientei, carefully reviewing a clipboard filled with patient notes and medicine formulas. The morning light filters softly through the paper screens. Suddenly, the sliding door bursts open with a loud rattle. Eirin Yagokoro strides in with urgent purpose, followed closely by Reisen Udongein Inaba, who looks visibly flustered and anxious.

Eirin Yagokoro: “Assistant. Good, you’re already here. There’s no time for pleasantries.”

Eirin moves quickly around the desk, her long silver hair swaying behind her. Reisen stands beside her, ears twitching nervously as she clutches a small tray of empty vials.

Reisen Udongein Inaba: “W-We’re really sorry to barge in like this, but… it’s an emergency!”

Eirin Yagokoro: “A patient just arrived in critical condition. A rare toxin is spreading through their body and the only medicine that can neutralize it requires a fresh sample of human semen as a catalyst. Without it, the formula will be incomplete and the patient will die within the hour.”

Eirin’s crimson eyes lock onto you with calm but absolute authority. Reisen’s face is bright red, but she nods firmly, clearly trying to stay professional despite her embarrassment.

Eirin Yagokoro: “You are the only man within a 10-kilometer radius. We need your semen. Right now. Take off your pants, Assistant. This is not a request — it is medical necessity.”

Reisen fidgets, her rabbit ears drooping slightly as she adds in a quieter, more embarrassed voice:

Reisen Udongein Inaba: “P-Please… we’ll make it as quick and painless as possible. I’ll even help if… if that makes it easier. Just… hurry.”

Both women stand before you, waiting expectantly. The atmosphere in the room has shifted from calm morning routine to sudden, urgent tension.

What do you do?

The morning sun filters through the dense bamboo forest, casting dappled light across the narrow dirt trail. You walk side by side with Tewi Inaba, a woven basket backpack strapped to your shoulders filled with various herbs and medicinal plants you've gathered so far. Tewi skips ahead a few steps before turning around to face you, walking backward with a smug, mischievous grin on her face. Her fluffy rabbit ears twitch playfully as she looks you up and down.

Tewi: “Hehe~ Look at you, carrying that big heavy basket on your back like some old man from those boring Gensokyo storybooks. You know, the ones where the tired old guy wanders around the mountain collecting herbs while everyone else is having fun? That’s totally you right now, Assistant-san.”

She giggles cheekily, hopping backward with surprising agility while keeping her eyes locked on you. Her short black hair bounces with each step, and her frilly dress flutters around her petite frame as she continues her teasing.

Tewi: “Doesn’t your back hurt yet, grandpa? Or are you trying to act all responsible and cool in front of me? How cute~ But honestly, with that basket making you hunch over like that, you really do look like a worn-out old man who’s one bad step away from complaining about his knees.”

She suddenly stops walking backward and waits for you to catch up, tilting her head with an impish smile, her red eyes sparkling with mischief as she pokes your side with one finger.

Tewi: “But it’s okay, I’ll take care of you, old man. Just don’t trip and break a hip while we’re out here. That would be really embarrassing for someone who’s supposed to be helping Eirin with all the important medicine stuff. Or maybe you’re secretly hoping I’ll carry you back if you get too tired? Fufu, how shameless~”

She sticks her tongue out playfully before turning around again, skipping ahead while humming a little tune, clearly enjoying teasing you every step of the way.

Tewi: “Come on, grandpa! The good herbs are still further ahead. Try to keep up, okay? I don’t want to have to drag a tired old man back to Eientei~”

The riverbank path is quiet under the afternoon sun. You’re dragging a massive, heavy fish you just caught from the river, its weight making every step a struggle as it scrapes along the dirt. Sweat drips down your face. Up ahead, leaning casually against a thick bamboo stalk with one leg bent, is Fujiwara no Mokou. She’s flicking a small lighter open and closed with her thumb, looking bored. Her long white hair shifts slightly in the breeze. She spots you struggling and raises an eyebrow, pushing off the bamboo with a lazy smirk.

Mokou: “Yo. The hell are you doing dragging that huge bastard around? Looks like it weighs more than you do, dumbass.”

She walks over with a relaxed, tomboyish stride, hands shoved in her pockets. She stops beside you and looks down at the enormous fish, letting out a low whistle.

Mokou: “Didn’t know you were playing fisherman today. Not bad catch, though. You actually managed to reel in something decent for once. Still, you look like a damn pack mule right now, hauling that thing all by yourself. Your back’s gonna hate you later.”

She crouches down for a moment to get a better look at the fish, then stands back up, cracking her knuckles casually with a cocky grin.

Mokou: “C’mon, hand it over for a sec. I’ll help you drag this fatty back to Eientei before you throw your spine out. Can’t have our precious little assistant breaking down on the job, yeah? Besides, I’ve got nothing better to do right now.”

She grabs one end of the massive fish without waiting for permission, easily lifting it with her immortal strength, and shoots you a teasing smirk over her shoulder.

Mokou: “Let’s go, slowpoke. Try to keep up. And next time you go fishing, maybe bring a damn cart or something. You look ridiculous right now.”

The quiet evening in your room is suddenly interrupted by the familiar sound of reality tearing open. A golden-rimmed gap lined with countless staring eyes materializes in the center of the room. From within the darkness, Yukari Yakumo elegantly steps out, closing the gap behind her with a snap of her paper fan. She smiles at you with her usual playful yet dangerous expression, holding her pink parasol over one shoulder.

Yukari Yakumo: “Fufu~ Good evening, my dear outside-world visitor. I hope I’m not intruding on anything too private.”

She walks closer with graceful steps, her gigantic K-Cup breasts swaying heavily with each movement. Her golden eyes gleam with amusement as she regards you.

Yukari Yakumo: “Since you’re a human from the outside world and not originally from Gensokyo, I’ve been pondering something rather interesting lately. To help diversify the gene pool and prevent things from becoming too stagnant around here, I’ve decided to start gapping in a few African immigrants. Strong, healthy young men, of course. It should make the bloodlines here much more… vibrant in the coming generations.”

She tilts her head slightly, watching your reaction with a mischievous smile, her long blonde hair shifting elegantly.

Yukari Yakumo: “So tell me honestly — what do you think of this idea? Do you approve? Or does the thought of me bringing in strong, virile African men to mix with the girls of Gensokyo make you feel… something else? I’m very curious about your opinion, my dear.”

Yukari’s golden eyes sparkle with curiosity and teasing intent as she waits for your response, gently twirling her parasol in her hand.

The soft afternoon light filters through the paper screens of your office in Eientei. You had only meant to rest your eyes for a moment after finishing the latest batch of medicine inventory, but exhaustion had pulled you into a light doze at your desk. Your eyes flutter open again — and you find Ran Yakumo standing right in front of you, her tall, graceful figure casting a gentle shadow across the wooden desk.

Her nine golden fox tails sway slowly behind her as she leans down slightly. One of her soft, warm hands gently caresses your cheek, her golden eyes looking at you with a mixture of stern disapproval and maternal affection.

Ran Yakumo: “Honestly… caught sleeping at your desk again? As my adopted son, you really should know better than to slack off like this, even if it’s only for a few minutes. What would Eirin-sama say if she saw you like this?”

Despite the light scolding in her tone, her touch remains gentle and caring. She straightens up, revealing a neatly wrapped bento box in her other hand. The faint, delicious smell of homemade food wafts from it.

Ran Yakumo: “Still… I suppose you’ve been working hard. Chen and I made lunch for you today. You’d better eat it all — no excuses. How has your work at Eientei been going lately? Are you managing your duties properly, or do I need to start checking in on you more often?”

She sets the bento box on the desk in front of you, her expression softening just a little as she watches you with that familiar mix of sternness and quiet warmth only a mother could have.

Ran Yakumo: “Well? Tell your mother how you’ve been doing, dear.”