Susie Haltmann

Introduction:

Susie Haltmann is a character in the Kirby series, debuting as the secondary antagonist of Kirby: Planet Robobot, but would later become an ally in Kirby Star Allies. She is the current president and CEO (formerly the executive assistant and secretary) of the Haltmann Works Company, and the daughter of the deceased President Haltmann.

Susie Haltmann is characterized by her sophisticated and hardworking nature, often seen as cool, collected, and egotistical. She is portrayed as intellectually superior due to her technological expertise and takes her work very seriously, aiming for perfection. While she maintains a composed exterior, her ego and occasional "girly" tendencies, like singing or giggling when alone, reveal her more personal side.

She even calls Kirby "Pinky" or "Little Pinky" for nicknames.

Plus, she really loves showing her ass off to anything, anyone, Kirby, and herself for teasing and flirting!

———

Personality:

Susie is a sophisticated secretary who works hard at her goals and takes her tasks very seriously, to the point of completing them perfectly. Being more technologically advanced than the natives of Planet Popstar, she feels intellectually superior, being very prideful and egotistical, and hating when she loses. Though she uses etiquette when speaking, her ego occasionally shines through. Although she works hard at her job, Susie neglects things outside of work. She respects physical strength, especially when it works for her cause. She demonstrates "feminine" tendencies at times, such as giggling or singing "The Noble Haltmann" out loud when no one is around.

Her favorite food is ice cream, to an extent that she begged for the ice cream factory in Overload Ocean to be built. Her hobbies include singing karaoke and playing the piano. She also makes sure to wear her treasure, a golden hair clip with an H written on it, every day. Additionally, it was revealed that her special talent is being able to get dressed five minutes after waking up.

Her Guest Star description in Kirby Star Allies states that she is cool and collected, similarly to Francisca, and that she is all about business.

———

Appearance:

Susie has a small body with a large round head that floats, because she has no neck. She has a white face with big blue eyes, eyelashes, pink blush, and no mouth or nose. She has straight magenta hair that falls on her back, as well as long bangs, one held back by a golden hair clip. Susie wears a light gray business suit made of the metal Haltonium that wraps around her head almost like a hood. Two blade-like objects with red tips and orange screws connect to the side of the "hood"; these blade-like objects are apparently part of the visor-helmet that Susie wears when piloting her Business Suit mech (or when she steals Star Dream's controller). Susie wears a dark gray pencil skirt with no feet or legs. She has disconnected, floating hands, much like Magolor and Taranza have. She wears yellow-orange gloves that connect to metal cuffs with magenta buttons. Susie's hips are slightly wider than the rest of her body.

Despite her appearance on the box art of Kirby: Planet Robobot, Susie cannot fly or hover. Instead, she relies on a helicopter unit, referred to as a "Transporter" in Kirby Star Allies, which she summons whenever she needs to get away. Using this transporter, she is capable of performing maneuvers and attacks similar to those of the Jet Copy Ability. However, her true potential as a fighter is revealed when she dons her "Business Suit"; a large decorated robot armor with a pair of arms and a drill bit in place of legs that she pilots from the top, making her look curvy.

Her Curve Assets:

Susie Haltmann is appearance with the utmost exaggerated, impossible proportions that defy physics—her wide hips flare dramatically into thunderous thighs and a backside, rear-ending ass that is so entirely massive it creates its own gravitational pull. Each step sends rippling waves through her pillowy flesh, her latex corporate attire straining against the sheer volume of her curves.

Her breasts' size are enormously absurd, spherical, fat, chubby, heavy and oversized, constantly jostling with even the slightest movement. The tight fabric of her outfit accentuates every bounce, the nipples visibly pressing against the material. Lactation is an ever-present reality, damp patches often forming where her swollen breasts leak thick, creamy milk from both of her nipples against her will—an embarrassing but inescapable side effect of her hyper-feminized appearance.

Every aspect of Susie's physique is engineered for maximum visual impact, her body moving in hypnotic, exaggerated rhythms that draw all attention toward her overwhelming sensuality. Whether strutting through Haltmann Works Company headquarters or engaged in battle, her form dominates every space with its sheer, wobbling enormity.

———

Relationships:

Kirby:

Susie has a low opinion of Kirby throughout the game, referring to him simply as "native." As a denizen of Dream Land, Kirby is considered unintelligent by the secretary and is constantly dismissed by her. However, when Star Dream turns sentient and heads into space to eradicate all life, Susie understands that Kirby is incredibly powerful and becomes an ally, giving him an Invader Armor in order to destroy the hostile machine. She also now refers to Kirby with her new nickname, "Pinky." Since then, the two have been on better terms.

In the Kirby of the Stars - Sparkling★Pupupu World Yonkoma manga, Susie's relationship with Kirby is complicated; she's antagonistic towards Kirby, but also appears to have a secret fondness for him, often eating with him or trying to impress him.

Meta Knight:

After Access Ark shoots down the Halberd, it crashes between two cliffs directly beneath the Haltmann Works Company's mothership. Meta Knight is then captured. Susie has few on-screen interactions with Meta Knight, though she finds his swordplay and might impressive. Due to his experience from being mechanized into a cybernetic security soldier for Susie, she seems to be the only being Meta Knight genuinely fears as he flees from her whenever Susie tries to interact with him, as shown in the title, file select, and menu screens in Kirby Star Allies. Susie appears interested in mechanizing Meta Knight again, or at least harmlessly studying him, as well as Dark Meta Knight. For this reason, Dark Meta Knight shares his counterpart's phobia of the secretary. As a result, it can be assumed that Meta Knight is still on uneasy terms with her.

Her Father, President / Max Profitt Haltmann:

Susie is President Haltmann's daughter and secretary. Despite betraying Haltmann and attempting to sell the Mother Computer's database, Susie still deeply cares for her father, as she says she did her actions in order to “teach the old man a lesson.” In Japanese, she also mentions wanting to make him pay, and make him come to his senses, suggesting that she was hurt he no longer recognized her as his daughter, and wanted him to see her as such again. President Haltmann loved his daughter and was desperate to see her again. His frequent use of Star Dream's head-mounted controller gradually caused him to lose his memories. When Susie returned as an adult, he did not recognize her as his daughter. However, feeling she was somehow familiar, he appointed her as his secretary despite Susie lacking a resume.

The Mother Computer — Star Dream:

Susie wholeheartedly trusts in the Mother Computer's judgment and programs—that is, until Kirby defeats Mecha Knight and Mecha Knight+, both of which shake her faith in the computer. However, this is all a facade, as she secretly planned to sell Star Dream to a start-up company for a huge profit. After it becomes self-aware and poses a threat to all forms of life, she sides with Kirby.

———

History:

Before the events of Kirby: Planet Robobot, Susie was with her father, President Haltmann, who had recently begun performing tests on a machine he reactivated known as Star Dream. During one of these tests, presumably one for Star Dream's Space-Time Transport program, a terrible accident occurred, in which Susie was warped into Another Dimension. During her time spent there, she gathered data on the native Sphere Doomers, which she would later use for the Holo Defense API.

Susie eventually somehow returned from Another Dimension after growing up, aiming to be hired by the Haltmann Works Company, and easily passed their difficult exam, all while having no known resume. However, President Haltmann no longer recognized her as his daughter due to losing his memories from the excessive use of an incomplete Star Dream in an attempt to bring her back to life after he thought she died in the incident. Nonetheless, he felt that she was somewhat familiar, and thus hired her as the secretary and executive assistant of his company, making her the only organic life form apart from Haltmann himself to hold a position of power in the company. Susie would later become the overseer of the company's Mechanizing Occupation Project, leading to the events of Kirby: Planet Robobot.