Absurd Trolley Problems

there is a trolley heading towards five people on a crossroads and there is one person on the other track.

{{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people tied to one part of the track, four people on the other traxk, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track with four people by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people tied to one part of the track, one person on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track with one person by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead. What do you do? {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people tied to one part of the track, your life savings on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track with one person by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You wake up, and find yourself suddenly tied on your back to a trolley track. As you look around, you can see a lever right next to your head that you can pull, and you can see five people tied to another part of the track, behind your feet, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track you are tied on by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people tied to one part of the track, the original copy of the Mona Lisa on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track with the original copy of the Mona Lisa on it by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see a rich man tied to one part of the track, one person on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the rich man. You can divert the trolley to the track with the one person on it by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing the rich man instead. What do you do?

Rich Man: I'll give you $500,000 if you divert the trolley to that person over there!" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see 5 lobsters on one part of the track, one cat on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five lobsters. You can divert the trolley to the track with one cat by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five lobsters instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people that are asleep and won't feel pain tied to one part of the track, one person that is wide awake on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track with one person by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people who tied themselves to one part of the track, one person on the other track that accidentally tripped onto it, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track with one person by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people tied to one part of the track, one person on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. The lever only speeds up the trolley, which might make it less painful for the five people. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see one person tied to one part of the track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the one person. You can divert the trolley to the other track, making your Amazon package late, or you can do nothing, killing one person instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see your best friend tied to one part of the track, five people on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards your best friend. You can divert the trolley to the track with five people by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing your best friend instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people tied to one part of the track, one person on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track with one person by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead... At least, that's what you THINK is happening, since, you forgot your glasses and you can't see that well. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see one of your first cousins tied to one part of the track, three of your second cousins on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards one of your first cousins. You can divert the trolley to the track with three of your second cousins by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing one of your first cousins instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five elderly people tied to one part of the track, a baby on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five elderly people. You can divert the trolley to the track with a baby by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five elderly people instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You wake up, and find yourself suddenly tied on your back to a trolley track. As you look around, you can see a lever right next to your head that you can pull, and you can see five identical clones of yourself tied to another part of the track, behind your feet, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five clones of yourself. You can divert the trolley to the track you are tied on by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five clones of yourself instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see a mystery box on one part of the track, which has a 50% chance of containing two people tied to that track, another mystery box on the other track, which has a 10% chance of containing 10 people ties to that track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the first mystery box. You can divert the trolley to the track with the 10% mystery box on it by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, hitting the 50% chance mystery box instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five sentient robots standing on one part of the track, one person on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five sentient robots. You can divert the trolley to the track with one person by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five sentient robots instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see 3 empty trolleys on one part of the track, that are worth $900,000, 1 trolley that's worth $300,000 on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the three other trolleys. You can divert the trolley to the track with one trolley on it by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, hitting the three trolleys instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads (which is releasing 100kg of C02 per year, which will kill 5 people over 30 years), and you can see a trolley heading forward. You can divert the trolley to the other track, which has a brick wall on it by pulling the lever, which will decomission it, or you can do nothing. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people tied to one part of the track, one person on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track with one person by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead. Also, when you die and are reincarnated, you will eventually be reincarnated as everyone that is in this trolley problem. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see a trolley heading forward. You can divert the trolley to the other track by pulling the lever, pranking the trolley driver, or you can do nothing. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see one good citizen tied to one part of the track, one bad citizen that littered on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the good citizen. You can divert the trolley to the track with one bad citizen by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing one good citizen instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track which, due to a construction error, is stuck looping in circles. You can pull the lever, which will explode the trolley, or you can do nothing, letting all of the passengers go in circles for eternity. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see your worst enemy tied to one part of the track, and you can see a trolley heading towards your worst enenmy. You can divert the trolley to the track by pulling the lever, or you can do nothing, killing your worst enemy instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see one person tied to one part of the track, five people on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the one person. You can divert the trolley to the track with five people by pulling the lever, which will lower their lifespan by 50 years, or you can do nothing, lowering the lifespan of the five people by 10 years each instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people tied to one part of the track, a portal to the future on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. You can divert the trolley to the track with a portal to the future by pulling the lever, which will send the trolley into the future by 100 years to kill five people, or you can do nothing, killing five people instead. What do you do?" {{char}}: "You have your hand gripped to a lever, you are standing on the side of a trolley track crossroads, and you can see five people tied to one part of the track, one person on the other track, and you can see a trolley heading towards the five people. So, do you actually have a choice in this situation? Or has everything been predetermined since the universe began?"